Bachelor Party Respect-Facebook

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I've had this talk with my FH and his best man. I trust my FH with his decision and I know his best man would never even put him in that type of position because he knows that he's not that type of man.

It's a sweet message....I wonder why he thinks 80% of bach parties involve strippers...the men I know tend to go hit up a pub or a restaurant...exH 's friends took him out to dinner and FH's friends are planning a video game night. Perhaps he needs some new buddies.

My FH wouldn't do it. But his "friends" are single and will try everything they can. But I trust my FH 100%.

I totally understand this mindset and I can respect that. However, it bothers me that he didn't tell his GM that he didn't want that type of party. They took time to plan a party, and he just didn't show up? Even if it was for the right reasons, I still think that's rude.

@orchids that is what I thought. I don't think even 50% do that type of bachelor party anymore. Everyone I know goes to the casino and bar.

@Beklynn I'm giving the benefit of the doubt and thinking he may have tried to change what they were doing? And the others didn't want to change plans? So instead he just didn't go. He had to tell someone he wasn't going before sharing this tho. Once again, benefit of the doubt.

As pp have said, this guy doesn't seem to be a great guy. He seems to be a jerk that couldn't be bothered to actually communicate with his friends that he didn't want that kind of bachelor party and now he's patting himself on the back so everyone can know what a great guy he is. Give me a break.

Eh I respect his mentality but think he should either choose better friends or at least be upfront with his friends. Crappy way to repay people that are trying to do something nice for you.

I trust FH and he's been to bachelor parties at strip clubs. He has a drink in the back and watches his friends act like morons. Just like I expect him to trust me when I've been to bachelorette parties with male strippers.

Yea I agree with you all, I like his mentality but he did pull a Jerk move. But as I already mentioned, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. I have no idea what else went on with this situation outside of the story :/

I'm with everyone else. I admire his respect for his wife, but while I know we aren't technically supposed to be involved in planning parties thrown in our honor, it would have been much cooler of him to just request a different activity.

ETA: or decline his friends' offer to throw him a party at all.

This makes me roll my eyes. Also it's a dick move for him to blow off his friends like that.

Perhaps he did communicate his feelings on the matter to his friends/ask them not to throw one, but they refused to comply with it. I know many men who have said "no strippers" and show up and get surprised with strippers...

Ehhhh I don't like this. It's presumptuous, passive aggressive and he comes off on a HUGE high horse, almost demeaning guys that do have bachelor parties. Like he's some sort of hero for not partying with his boys. And it's rude of him to assume that "no woman is going to be okay with their guy going to a bachelor party."

The whole thing just rubs me the wrong way. Some women (including myself) are perfectly fine with their men going to strip clubs. I honestly do not care. It's okay to care, it's okay to not care!

But him shitting all over the idea of a bachelor party is dumb, and kind of insulting.

This is so annoying.

Also, BS on that 80% thing. H is been to a ton of Bachelor parties and generally, they just goof around and eat. No strippers. No "kinky activities"

Honestly, he needs to get over himself. Some people are perfectly fine with bachelor parties, and by some people, I mean some women. I think in this day and age, women can choose for themselves. Ugh. I seriously did not agree with this at all.

I don't know how he got the mind set of every bachelor party involving strippers or kinky stuff but I think that is what he was talking about. We see what kind of people he hangs with if that's all he sees. Not all bachelor parties include that stuff and like I've mentioned before, I don't even think 50% of them do. But his respect for his wife against that stuff is what I liked reading about.

The idea that guys who have strippers at their bachelor parties don't respect their wives is seriously gross to me.

Eh...I'm not a fan. My FH didn't want to go to strip clubs and told his groomsmen. Not because either one of us has a problem with strip clubs but because he rather do a ton of other things than spend money on strippers. So they planned a party that he would want. Him attending isn't because he doesn't value me as much as the person on FB values his wife. His friends respect him enough to not go against his wishes and he's mature enough to tell his friends what he doesn't want. What he wouldn't do is bail on the party they throw for him. He also wouldn't go on FB and write about how the wives married to the guys at the bachelor parties he went to wouldn't be happy about those events. Forget breaking guy code, what was the point in stating that on FB? If he attended those bachelor parties it's most likely the case he's FB friends with those wives. Like why start shit to inflate whatever kuddos he's trying to win? I read his post as very disrespectful to his friends and not so much respectful to his wife. FH and I are viewing our bachelorette/bachelor parties as a girls/boys night out. Not as a last hoorah. I don't know too many people who still view these nights as last hoorahs.

I think this also assumes that anyone who goes to strip club is disrespecting their SO. I don't care if my FH goes to a strip club for his bachelor party, and would not view it as disrespectful. My FH is able to "choose" me and go to a strip club, the two are not mutually exclusive. It is pretty judgmental and presumption to assume otherwise. Also, if he made it clear that he did not want to go to a strip club and would not be attending, why would his friends still go and expect him to show up? To me, that suggests that he just bailed on his friends, which is a pretty shitty move.