bachelor party Anti Strip clubs?

Hmmm...fh isn't the strip club type, but i imagine if his dad was doing it all, then he'd succumb simply b/c of the fact his dad was actually doing it for him....but we're different then most, b/c i'd most likely go too!!! but if you're that uncomfortable about it, then you really need to dicuss that with him, so that he knows and maybe talk together to see if there could be a compromise...but to me, it wouldn't be a big deal. if it really bothered me, he wouldn't go. and FFIL probably wouldn't if i told his wife it bothered me, not that there's a snoballs chance on the sun that she'd let either of them go to begin with lol...

Well fh has told his best man that there is to be no strippers or hookers. I simply said how would you feel if I went and saw male strippers. He's told me as far as he's concerned he'd be hurt if I did and he feels no need to see other women. Best man seems a bit annoyed about this but I think its because he wanted to see them which I find a bit unfair. He can do this on his own time not on FH night. If you are really uncomfortable about it I think you should talk to them both you dont want to be stressing about this when you have the wedding to plan.

Ok, now if there was the possibility of hookers, i'd be hooking someone myself! oh noooo.....not just that, i'd put a freeze on fh's account, and call it off if i found out about hookers!

As far as I'm concerned it shouldn't matter what his brother or father do or think. You have a lifetime to spend with this man and if he doesn't put his foot down (not saying that he wouldn't, he's obviously a great guy if you're getting married!) to his family, who should be showing you the utmost in respect, then you shouldn't feel an ounce of guilt in telling them exactly what your feelings are. If strippers/hookers are a serious concern, maybe even speak about it with your FMIL. I personally find the whole stag/stagette thing rather archaic... they seem to cause WAY too many problems with WAY too many couples.

Sorry if I sound over the top about it, it's just a subject I have really strong feelings about. Hope you guys are able to find a resolution that works for both of you

It's the responsibility of the best man and groomsmen to ensure that the relationship of the couple isn't damaged.

If that means no strippers, then those groomsmen better control that incident from happening.

period.

Personaly you can not control the things the boys do, but I can give my advice. He passes it on to them if they are planning something or not. I just make sure he knew my thoughts before walking out the door... It is not like your keeping the others from having fun but just to show you respect the same.

Well spoken, L'amoureuse.

The thought kinda bugs me too. I told FH if he wants to go to a strip club that is his choice, but I do not want some nasty stripper crawling all over him. He isn't into that but he would probably go if his friends wanted to. It is the groom's party after all so if he doesn't want that he should be up front with dad/bro.

I think you need to make your boundaries clear. Let him know what is or is not acceptable, and what crosses the line into "cheating." Unfortunately guys will be swept away in all the peer pressure so he has to know where you stand. My FI is planning on doing the strip club thing but he knows my boundaries. I had my BP on Sat. and even when my friends were trying to get me to do things that would have been disrespectful (like lick a guys' neck and other nonsense) I didn't out of respect for my FH. I expect that he will do the same.

The party is supposed to be all about the groom, what the groom wants the groom gets. Those planning the party are supposed to respect that. He needs put his foot down and be very clear to them about what he wants to do and what he feels is appropriate or not.

Now, if its a case of the two of you disagreeing on what is actually appropriate, thats another issue. You need to talk to him and really tell him how it would make you feel. If he can't respect that, then you may have some thinking to do. Good luck!

He can always tell them that he doesnt want strippers or anything bad there. theres nothing wrong with having a guys night with JUST THE GUYS... lol.

I have always been fine with strip clubs because I know guys are going to check out other women, look at porn on occasion but he will always come back to me. They look at it because its there, they are little boys and the female body is amazing to them. My FH would never sleep with anyone so even if he gets a lap dance and she is rubbing on him, he isnt going to do anything about it (until he comes home) and if he does, he knows he will have nothing to come home to. We both go out and we both trust each other. We tell each other everything to the point that I know most of what happens at the strip clubs when he goes (which has only been 4-5 times in the 6 years we have been together) Now if he went every weekend, we might have an issue. I also feel that if I say not to do something, the more he will want to do it and the more likely he is to hide it from me if someone takes him someplace or gets him something.

"fh isn't the strip club type"

lol if I had dolalr for every time a woman said that about her man I'd be rich. What guy besides doesn't like to see woman naked? Bottom line is I've been to dozens and dozens of bachelor parties with strippers and the ones that "are not into it" are the worst ones getting BJ's and sex.

Celtic although we butted heads early on you have a very good and realistic view on letting your man be a man without crossing the lines. He will be the one NOT to hook up while the guys that are "not into it" will be the exact opposite because they are on the short leash.

Short leashes do lead to trouble. I have a LOT of guy friends and I am privy to a lot of GUY ONLY conversations and when a short leash is put into play, the guys pull harder and want to prove that they will do what they want and no one can tell them what to do. I dont think a short leash is your issue at all but I also think if he knows you are ok with him going as long as he doesnt "do" anything, things will be fine.

My FH got the call from the best man the other day despite telling him months ago he did not want strippers or hookers (part of the reason is while we lived in the middle east they were everywhere and all the guys were with them and he found it disgusting) the best man said he planned to take him to a strip club. FH again reminded him he didnt want to and all he wanted was a guys day. He has decided to go do paintball something they havent done in years and have a few beers together. I dont believe all men are into strip clubs im very good friends with a lot of guys and while some love them others find them rather disgusting which i found shocking. FH is one that just isnt into all that into them. I wouldnt stop him going with the guys at a different time if he wanted but i also dont think every guy who says they arent that into is is on a short leash. Ive told FH if he wants to go he can with the guys he works with but he always says he cant be bothered wasting the money.

Pistol, i always appriciate the truth you bring to this subject based on your expieriances, and i feel like you have very good advice to give to us brides and wives.

ladies, take what he says to heart, he isnt trying to be mean, just brutaly honest.

on the other hand, my husband is not the strip club type, which i know you think there is no such thing, but i know plenty of men who have never and will never go to strip clubs, in fact one was a best man and when the groom wanted to go, he drove them there and slept in the car while they were inside so he could be the DD and make sure they all got home safe.

my husband would never venture down that road, being a pastor and having strong convictions about what God says about things like this. and this is why i married him.

Shell is right, some guys are just not that into it. I know my FH has kinda grown out of it, my Future brother in law hated how the 1st place he went on his 21st birthday was and will never go again, but my ex... love him to death....will go to any place that has boobs. but in general (like pistol) I find that if a guy wants to do something and you say "NO, I dont like that" (the short leash) he is more likely to do it anyway and maybe do more then he would have had to spite you then if you had said yes, and then hide it. Some on the other hand will respect your wishes and just not go because they dont really care if they go or not, but would have been nice to go kinda thing. This is just the experiance I have with the many many guy friends I have become "one of the guys" with. Also, they respect your wishes more if you tell them how you feel about it, but hate it if you say "dont go because I dont want you to"