Babysitter for Wedding?

First, this is very generous of you. However, their child, they pay. When they go out for date night, they pay for a sitter. Just because They're coming to you wedding does not make you responsible for paying for a sitter.

Thanks! So, since we are coordinating with the sitter, I am comfortable telling her we could cover a minimum pay for the night in case not many families decide they need her, since I want her to save the date. But, how would you go about letting people know you have her? Should I print a type of accommodation card for this? I feel like it sounds so silly to do, but it kind of makes sense.

Like, on my accommodation card for the room block I included that we have a room block, blah blah, it's a discounted rate, blah blah. Should I have one for her saying something about how we have arranged for a sitter to assist for the evening at the hotel and she is charging a discounted rate at $5/hour per child and if you are interested let us know? I just don't know how tacky this is. I'm stuck because we are coordinating with the sitter.

I'd put that info on a wedding website if you're having one and reach out individually to guests with kids. You could put it on the insert, but I've never heard of that being done---but doesn't mean it can't be done!

That sounds good. Also, if you have a website, I would put it on the accommodations page letting your guests no that during the reception, child care will be provided for those with children at a discounted rate of $5/hour per child. To accommodate the sitter, I would also ask them to reserve a space for their child(ren) providing their age. This way you can get a head count and give the sitter an opportunity to plan.

We're doing a similar thing, and I was planning on mentioning it on the room block card, with the details on the website. We were invited to a wedding last year that included the name and phone number of three sitters the resort uses, on the same card with all the resort room block info. I thought it was very thoughtful and not at all tacky. There was no $$ mentioned however. I think we'll simply say, "for your convenience child care options will be available. Details can be found at www....." I haven't worked out our details yet (lots of time) but I'm a Girl Scout leader and my girls are now in high school so I'll be tapping that resource for sure! Our venue also has lots of buildings (GS camp) so they will be set up on site, but away from the festivities.

The parents should be paying for it and honestly, you have no responsibility to find people a sitter either. It always surprises me when people do this because, sure it is nice, but if you are going out on a date night with another couple, do you find a sitter for their child? No. So why find a sitter for the people coming to your wedding?

Also, if I had a child, I would rather use my own sitter that I have most likely used before and trust over someone else that I've never met.

For us, it's that most of the people with kids are flying there, or traveling from other states, so they would be less likely to come if they had to leave them home, or call the hotel to try to find a sitter. Amy, is that your situation as well? Agreed on the paying part, unless you're made of money and want your wedding to be a posh pampered experience for all (I've planned a few of those in my days as a designer/planner) it should totally be up to the parents to foot the bill. They should be overjoyed and appreciative that you even thought to arrange a discount, and made it convenient for them.

For us, most of the people are coming in from out of town, so they don't ave a sitter there, and the ones who are not from out of town...well, let's just say I highly doubt they have any babysitters that they use other than their parents, who will also be invited to the wedding. So, we are doing this to be helpful, but also as a backup for when someone in my family likely tries to bring their kid to the wedding even though it has been known it is adults-only. It will be easy for my DOC to say, i'm so sorry for the miscommunication, but this is a kids-free event, but there is a sitter 5 minutes away, etc.

Edit: Also, thank you klimberkat and kitandkaboodle for your ideas! So helpful!

I have the same situation I don't want kids at my wedding besides the wedding party.

So I said I don't want kids there. It's really not your responsibility to accommodate them and kids if you don't want kids there. Your already paying enough for them to eat and drink. Why would they not want a night free from their kids. They should find their own babysitter.

My cousin set-up a babysitting room, at his wedding. There were only 5 kids who used it, for a 150 person wedding. I'm estimating that 2/3 had to travel/fly, to the area. Many of the couples traveled without their children (avoided an extra airplane ticket) and I'm guessing the local ones preferred their own sitters, in their homes.

My mother tried to arrange a hotel babysitting service, for one of our guests, but the mother refused to leave her toddler with a stranger, and ended-up not attending. Oh well ...

It'd be nice if you could afford to pay but if not it is fine for the parents to pay.

But some places have limits. You can't have one babysitter to 20 kids, for example. The hotel won't allow that many people in one room most likely, and there may be state laws as well. I don't know how many kids you are thinking, but you may need a couple sitters for safety, so you need to be careful you don't overpromise services and then end up with an issue. But if there's only 3-4 kids that might use her, it's probably fine.

Everyone is giving me shit for the no kids thing. I put up the idea of getting a sitter for them but everyone makes me feel like we should pay. Does no one enjoy an adult night out anymore?

I would think only people coming from OOT, who may not be able to arrange babysitting or leave their kids for such a long stretch, would be using your sitter. Local people I would think would arrange their own. I may be delusional in this thinking, so feel free to roll your eyes at my ignorance.

It's not about an adult night out.There's a lot that goes in to a night out without kids. It's about people trusting the people caring for their children. If travelling, they may not have one. You don't just grab a sitter off the street, parents interview, background check, and vet babysitters. Babysitters are also expensive. There's nothing wrong with the no kids wedding but you have to expect/accept some backlash from parents that don't have a sitter option.

I wouldn't get involved in this, no way, no how. If you've decided to have no kids, it's now the parent's issue to find care or not come. You do NOT want to be the person responsible for anyone taking care of their children. What if something happens to the kids? Do you really want to be the person in the middle? No.

There will be no kids at the bachelorette or bachelor party, right? Well, if you'd decided to have an adult wedding, this is no different. It's an event that is not designed to welcome kids; no guilt, just a statement.

The people who had the kids have, as part of their parental roles, the responsibility of making sure their kids ware taken care of when they go out. That shouldn't be a total shock to them. I don't really understand why that responsibility becomes the couples' or why you'd want to take that on.

I am sorry to be debbie downer, I think this is a good idea but one person can only watch so many kids in a hotel room. I would think the max would be 5 - 6 kids per 1 babysitter. If you put a general card in the invite what if 40 kids show up to be watched by one person? I agree with others who have said the parents should find care for their own children. As a mother of 2 I would not have someone my kids have never met before watch them. My 2 year old would be really scared.