Babysitter for Wedding?

I thought about doing this too! I am planning on making some booklets and using some toys

Why not just have a child-free wedding? Then you don't have to worry about any of that. Personally, I don't think it's anyone's responsibility but the parents to provide care for their children.

I would word your info card a little more gently. Right now it basically comes off as 'if you can't get your kid to shut up, please send them away'. I would stick with something like 'Onsite childcare will be provided for the length of the ceremony and reception, if you choose to use it'. Trust me, the parents who will let their kids scream through a ceremony are the same ones who will not get the hint to put their kids with the sitter, so you might as well not risk offending everyone else.

Also, be prepared that most parents won't feel comfortable leaving their child with a sitter they don't know, no matter what the circumstance. In terms of food, I would ask the caterer what their kids options are. I wouldn't feed them in the kid's room, but let them eat with their parents at the wedding.

View Quoted Comment

We don't mind paying for it, and I'd rather have the parents attend then not. Quite a few of our guests are out of town so I just don't realistically see them leaving their children at home to fly to our wedding. If our guests all lived locally, we totally would! But a larger portion of our guests are 30-40 years old and have at least one child. I really don't mind kids at weddings and think it's fun during the reception, I know I'll just be mad if someone is screaming or crying during my father's speech or during the ceremony and the parent just sits there like it's okay. I assume they would know to take their child out of the room but you never know.

I think people will actually love this idea. Saves them the hassle of finding a sitter and also the embarrassment if the kids start acting out. Blocks,puzzles, markers that only work on certain paper(so you don't have to worry about someone's child writing on anything they are suppose to) playdoh,sticker books,bubbles. As far as good with kids you can never go wrong with chicken nuggets,pizza,hot dogs.

View Quoted Comment

That's a good idea! I was thinking of having a checked box on the card that says if their child wants to sit with mom and dad or sit at a kids table, so they could choose depending on their child. And I totally agree with the rude wording, that was just the general message I was trying to get across but I'll make sure it sound very happy. I'm also thinking of having my coordinator be alert and if there is a kid who is screaming or something and the parents are doing anything, she could let the parents know quietly I requested children who are loud during quiet moments go in the children's room. I'm also totally fine having parents hang out in the children's room too, if they need to breastfeed or just calm their child down in a quieter place.

The wording you are considering is rude. Nicole's wording is much better, kinder and polite.

Also, accept that not all parents will want to use childcare nor will all children want to be in childcare all evening.

View Quoted Comment

Oh playdo! I totally forgot, what a good idea. I'm worried about bubbles for the mess, but stickers and blocks are great too. I think most our guests will use it, you can basically see the kids room from the reception space. And we are either hiring from Care.com or a local daycare center, and I'll make sure I have a full background check, references, and they are CPR certified. Then I'll give the sitters information to the parents a month or so prior in case they were worried and want to check her out. But the parents are more than welcome to hangout in the room too. I think kids are not interested in sitting at a table listening to speeches anyway.

View Quoted Comment

I should have mentioned that in my post, that wasn't my exact wording just the idea I want to get across. I was thinking of having a checked box on the card that says if their child wants to sit with mom and dad or sit at a kids table, so they could choose depending on their child. I'm also thinking of having my coordinator be alert and if there is a kid who is screaming or something and the parents are doing anything, she could let the parents know quietly I requested children who are loud during quiet moments go in the children's room. I'm also totally fine having parents hang out in the children's room too, if they need to breastfeed or just calm their child down in a quieter place. I know the kids probably won't want to be away from their parents all evening, just during the ceremony and 3 speeches. I've been at weddings where the kids are AMAZING and so well behaved the entire time. But I've also been at ones where the kids have no interest in even sitting down during the ceremony and are loud or talking during prayers, speeches, etc. and the parents don't really have anywhere to take them besides sitting outside in the dark so I'm trying to provide a happy medium. I think most parents are super aware of their children and will either get them to be quiet or want to take them out of the room anyway, I just want to make it easier for those parents.

Play doh is more messy than bubbles. You also can’t invite children and then banish them when they behave like children. This sounds like a surefire way to offend all the parents.

View Quoted Comment

Good tip! I didn't know that. I also don't think I'm "banishing" them. If the videographer I'm paying $3,000+ can't hear my father during a father-daughter speech or can't hear the officiant during the ceremony, and my guests for that matter, because a child is screaming ridiculously loud, then I don't think it's rude to give them an alternate space. 90% of kids won't be doing that if their parents ask them to behave, or they are preoccupied with coloring books, etc., but if my coordinator asks them to step out with their children for a moment to calm them down, I don't think that's a problem. I've already talked to several of the guests with children and no one found it offensive. I assume most kids will want to be with their parents, so the parents can take their kids to the room if they need to. And if they know prior to our wedding we would like to ensure peace and quiet during important moments and that offends them, I'm totally fine with those parents not coming! I'm not trying to be rude to them at all, I'm just trying to avoid a problem at the wedding.

My gosh.

We are having a kid free wedding because I also don't like kids running around etc and we are also having a very adult, late night dance party with a lot of drinking. My DD will be there, as she is the flower girl. (she is 6)

When you have a child, you come to understand that you can't do everything and attend everything. And if you are invited to an adult function, it will require a bit more planning on the parent's end.

On the other hand, if you don't have children but many of your friends do, you have to understand that in spite of the pre planning, sometimes your friends with kids just can't make it work and they will have to skip a social event.

In this case, I think it's much more graceful to simply have an adults only reception (with all that entails, even if several of your friends can't come) then to have this kind of wording on a program or invitation. It makes it seem like you have a true distaste for children (which, if I am being honest, I don't totally disagree with you with the exception of my own angel child- ha!). It's pretty off putting though to see something like that in print, and if I was attending your wedding w my child there is no way in the deepest pit of heck that I would let my child go with a strange babysitter. She'd stay close to me and dance, sing, eat cake and generally have a better time with adults. I don't like to have her out of my sight for an extended period of time and I am sure I am not the only one that feels that way, so that might be something to consider.

Have you talked your guests about this?? Would they actually use it? My aunts and uncles, and all our friends all have children, we’re having child free wedding with the exception of RB and FG.

None of my friends or family would use this service. They like to know and vet who’s watching their kids, as a parent, I have select people I trust with my child, I’m not trusting a random person or teenager I’ve never met to watch my son.

As a parent, it doesn’t offend me that people don’t want my children running around at their wedding. Don’t invite them then. How loud is too loud? How much running is too much? Kids will be kids. It’s fine if you don’t want that around, but just don’t include them. If someone approached me at an event my children were invited to and told me to take them into another space to leave them with a stranger, I would leave.

View Quoted Comment If the parents are really that offended that someone doesn't want their child screaming during an important moment, I'm okay with them leaving because they wouldn't have any regard for me or my fiance. I love when kids play and run around, I'm more referring to blood curdling crying screams. Several wedding party members have kids, so having an adult only wedding isn't an option since so many guests are out of state. Thanks though!

View Quoted Comment Yes I have! My future sister in law has 2 kids and was very excited, especially since they would be hired through a local company with background checks and CPR certified. The venue is too big to let children run around without supervision.

View Quoted Comment Our entire wedding party has kids, as do all our guests. This is including about 15-20 OOT guests. We’re still not inviting children other than FG and RB. Even as a parent, I’m ok traveling without my son, or such for a friend’s wedding. I’m completely understanding my son doesn’t need to go with me to everything or be invited to everything. Thus I get childcare when needed.

There’s no real way to corral kids into a room, which is essentially what you’re doing. It’s great your FSIL is excited for this, but it’s also not your responsibility to provide this. Parents can find childcare if need be.

View Quoted Comment

I mean...one of my bridesmaid's is out of state. Shes got 2 little ones. She knew it was adult only, so she's making arrangements for them. If she would have said, "hey, Powers, I would love to be in your wedding but I don't have a way to travel there and have my kids looked after. I hope you understand!" I would have been bummed, but I completely would have understood. Her family comes first, she has to do what is right by them.

What you are attempting to pull off it the opposite of being a good hostess. Either the children are welcomed at your wedding or not. If a young child lets out a loud scream, sometimes there is no warning they will do that. If a kid is going to pitch a fit, sometimes you can't predict that either, and a normally well behaved child might be tired, or cranky, or overwhelmed by all of the people, or just plain not having it that day. What if none of the children want to stay with the babysitter? So if you are inviting children, they need to be welcomed with all of that in mind.

If a child is acting up during your ceremony, yes, I HOPE the parent would remove that child until he/ she can calm down. That is just good/ normal parenting and shouldn't be printed on an invitation.

That is a good point, Future Mrs. L! Thank you! We will for sure entertain this idea. I think my post is causing people to misunderstand what I meant to say. I am EXCITED to have these kids at our wedding, I think kids dancing during the reception, having a flower girl and ring bear, seeing the kids dressed up, having them in pictures, are all super amazing things we are excited to have. I know most of the children invited already, and they will be great. I just wanted to give kids who are bored and DON'T want to watch the ceremony or speeches, an alternate place to go. I understand not wanting to leave your kids with a stranger, so I'm hiring a vetted babysitter and giving the parents her information if they want to do any researching or contact her prior to the event. If we have any nursing mothers, I think the room would also be a good option rather than them having to nurse in a bathroom. Powers2, your daughter is not who I am referring to at all! The problems I'm trying to avoid are children who are having a tantrum, or babies screaming bloody murder, and the parents having no place to take them. I still believe most the children will be interested in the room, especially if there are puzzles, coloring books, etc. and the parents can see them at all times (which they can from the reception room). There are off limit buildings and farm animals on the venue, where guests aren't allowed to wander. So the kids room gives another option for parents who want to relax and not chase their kids around for 6 hours!

View Quoted Comment I get what you are trying to say. I think the point is that you can't expect that this room is going to prevent any of the things that you don't want to happen from happening. The only way to prevent what you want to prevent is to have a child-free wedding. I would try to let those expectations go.
That said, I would just put it on the website and spread by word of mouth, not include on the invitations. I definitely think that young children should be seated with their parents at dinner, and bigger kids at a kids table, not in this room.