Like many of you, I am a Covid bride who was slated to have my big wedding this past September 2020. After facing the heartbreaking reality we weren’t able to more forward with our 250+ person reception, we decided to do the damn thing anyway and exchange vows in front of our closest friends and family. We are so in love and so happy we did. We postponed our reception until September 2021 and immediately began trying to conceive. We figured starting our family was more important than a reception. Well guess what- I got my BFP last week and am now 6 weeks pregnant! My husband and I are over the moon. The only catch is my due date is early August- one month before our 9/4/21 reception! 🤦♀️ This is my first child and I have no idea where I will be physically and mentally. I go to the doc in one week and I’m sure I’ll hear advice once I tell my friends who have children but I’m dying to hear from some veteran moms. Am I in a pickle or what?! 😍😱😂 ps My dress is super tight - I’m already accepting the fact that I won’t be able to wear it.
Congratulations on the baby!!! It’s such an exciting time. You aren’t in a pickle but you might need to find a dress that can fit after being a super hero and creating a life! A month after you shouldn’t be worrying about fitting in a tight dress. Bodies can change a lot and don’t go back to normal. It’s such a hard call and depends on how you carry and whatnot. Good luck and congrats!
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Yes you’re right- the dress is the least of my worries. I just want to be able to enjoy myself!
Congrats on your lil bundle of joy! Definitely get new dress since you really don’t know how your body will be after creating a life! Get plenty of rest before & after you give birth- sleep when the baby sleeps & definitely ask for help if & when you need it. Remember, you learn as you go. If you try something & it doesn’t work, try something else. There’s no wrong or right way!
It might be tough to have a one month old and host a wedding at the same time. You guys are going to be figuring out parenting/getting into a routine. My best advice would be to push the wedding out a little further once you have a good routine established. Planning while focusing on a pregnancy/labor and delivery and then adjusting to life with a newborn sounds exhausting. Plus things will likely be better with COVID further down the road.
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Thanks for the advice, Coakley but that’s not an option. This is already a rescheduled wedding. Everything is already planned so no stress there. I’ve already been through hell and back having to line every vendor up for the second time. I think the timing is absolutely perfect. If we were to get pregnant one month later then we’d have to reschedule- again. Thanks anyway.
As for the rest of you who took the time to respond, thank you! I’ll definitely have to eat my original dress seeing that it is very form fitting but I can live with that! The timing will be tough, but I have the best support system with both grandparents within 500 yards (our parents are neighbors and we bought a house down the street 🥰) I might not have the body I envisioned, but that’s okay we already did our photo shoot! And I might be crazy hormonal - but the nerve wracking ceremony is over. What’s left is the big bash- which I think I will be so ready for after 9 months of sobriety!
Congratulations 🥳🥳. I personally would say that you're definitely in a pickle. I definitely wouldn't want my one month old around a bunch of people even if Covid wasn't a thing so definitely not now. & I also wouldn't want to leave him/her for that many hours at only 1 month old. I was wayyyyy too attached to my first born & most moms feel that way.
I was okay going out for a little bit I couldn't enjoy it because I missed him too much. You could still be bleeding at that time too but every person is different
My friend was supposed to have her wedding in June 2020, then pushed it back to August 2021, got pregnant (due in May 2021), and has decided to move the wedding to June 2022. She didn't think she'd be ready mentally or physically that quickly for a wedding -- but everyone is different, and she also hasn't done any sort of wedding photoshoot or worn her dress yet (they got married privately at the courthouse).
I haven't had any children yet, but all of my friends with kids have said that the first 3 months are a whirlwind. I don't think I could have a big wedding that quickly after a baby, but all you can do is what's best for you and take everything one step at a time.
So I had my first baby about three months ago. Everyone is so different as far as their postpartum experience but for me my baby was a week late and resulted in an emergency c section. That first month I was still bleeding and still in quite a bit of pain just doing day to day tasks. I know most people are exhausted but we got on a pretty good schedule early so I was only waking up once a night to feed starting at around 2 weeks. I’m still breastfeeding every 2-3 hours during the day and our baby refused a bottle so my husband wasn’t able to help with feeding. I would just try and show yourself some grace and remember you might not feel like your old self and have a ton of energy or want to imbibe and that’s okay! Congrats!
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I agree with this... I’m not leaving my 1 month old for 20 minutes let alone hours... yikes. And you can’t consume alcohol anyways breastfeeding, well I wouldn’t. I would postpone, but doesn’t appear to be an option!
First of all, congratulations! I know that this is not what you want to hear but I think that you're in a pickle too. 😳 I've had four kids and I've given birth to them at 38 weeks and at 42 weeks, one with an episiotomy and one was an emergency c-section. If you go over your due date then you could give birth about two weeks before your reception. In my opinion that's cutting it too close. You can't predict how you'll be feeling or healing in such a short amount of time. You will probably still be bleeding and hormonal and I would not want to leave my newborn at that age for more than a few minutes like to shower. Everyone is different and you could be fine for your reception. I just wanted to give you my experience.
First, congratulations on everything! My husband and I could be in a similar boat. We canceled our wedding but still got married in May 2020, and postponed our wedding to June 2021. We wanted to try for a baby but the pandemic had us nervous and I didn't want to be just about to pop on our new date, so we figured we would start around my 35th birthday, which was yesterday. The idea was if we started now at most I'd be 6 months along for the wedding and still able to enjoy it mostly. Now our venue is saying we won't be able to have our event in June 2021 and need to postpone again or cancel, and we feel like we just can't wait any longer and cannot keep putting our future on hold. We obviously don't know if/when we'll get pregnant, so now we have to pick a new date knowing that I might be pregnant, about to pop, or have a newborn at that time, and we might have to shift again.
Are you able to shift your date at all? It is possible your vendors would allow you to postpone again (all of ours seem willing to schedule a 3rd date right now). Pregnancies vary so much, and there are many women who are super active right up until birth and then back to regular activity soon after, but there are also some who deliver early or get put on bedrest before birth. I'm a regular exerciser so I've noticed that a lot of people aren't cleared to resume working out until 6 weeks after birth, and I think its usually 4-6 weeks until you are cleared by your doc for sex. Of course all of this is super variable, but I highly suspect that you won't be able to really enjoy your wedding just a month after having your first baby. Most of my friends who are first time parents also don't feel comfortable being away from their newborn for long stretches, and most babies don't get the bulk of their vaccines until closer to 12 weeks old. You're also going to be dealing with hormones and possibly leaky boobs, mom diapers, etc. I imagine I would feel more comfortable having a big socializing event at least 3 months after giving birth. Plus weddings are stressful (even the nicest, most blissful ones that already have all the planning done) and I feel like I'd want to focus on one huge thing at a time.
The new Covid vaccine has also not been tested on pregnant woman and I am told it will not be given to those who are pregnant. So even if we come along way and things are getting close to normal by September, it would feel way too risky for me to have a wedding celebration while being vulnerable and having an even more vulnerable newborn at home. It is predicted that most of the population won't get their first dose until summer, so by September there will still likely be folks getting 2nd shots or building immunity after the full course, and we won't quite be "all clear". This is course even assuming at least 75% of Americans even opt into the vaccine.
Regardless, the baby news is so exciting and it might make sense to get through the first trimester before wiggling any wedding bits around.
PS: I'd love to follow your journey, thinking it would feel really nice to connect with a couple in such a similar boat to us!
I don't have kids but from everything I've heard, many women would not be ready to attend anyone's wedding let alone their own a month after giving birth. Especially since this is your first baby, you have no idea how the pregnancy/birth will go, you'll probably be very tired that first month as the baby won't sleep through the night, you don't know how your body will handle it/if you'll still be healing, etc...it's up to you, this just seems like a huge risk.