Awkward “who’s in your wedding?” conversation

Hey Akirah!

If you are merely bringing up the conversation again because you want to explain your own awkwardness, then I don’t feel like it is necessary. She will obviously understand the way you felt, especially since you told her that she wasn’t a BM in your wedding.

If you feel like she is upset by not being chosen, or not being told sooner, then perhaps discussing it further is a good idea. I know you mentioned that she was surprised to find that you were having a bridal party, but did you feel like she was upset by not being chosen?

I sort of had an awkward conversation in the beginning of my wedding planning and an even more awkward conversation months into the planning.

My best friend asked me who was in the wedding party and I explained to her that I chose just family - my 2 sisters, my FH's 2 sisters and my niece - she totally understood. A few months later his one sister dropped out and I had to ask that same friend to be in the wedding without sounding like she was plan b....I feel like I stumbled over my words and repeated myself like 90 times because I was so nervous she would feel slighted in some way.. I felt awful but she understood both times.

The way I see it: you chose her to do something really beautiful on your big day and I am sure she understands your reasoning behind it! I don't think you have the need to explain yourself.

If you think that she's reasonable normally then maybe this was just her gut reaction, but she understands. I do think that it could be tricky sense she was your bridesmaid before. Like in an "oh no what have I done since then gosh am I the worst friend" spiral kind of way, but again, if she thinks it through she'll get it, and most likely already has. I'd just take some extra care to affirm this friendship and what she means to you. And like you said, her reaction could have been about her preconceived notions about 2nd marriages, and not about you at all. But if it is bothering you at all, I think it's worth talking to her about!

I'm so happy that she is so supportive of you.

I had to have that awkward conversation with a friend of mine.

This particular friend is my neighbor, and she was there for me when I went through a nasty breakup a few years back, and we've been close ever since, even though shes about 20 years my senior. To be 100% honest, I think it would be a bit odd for my wedding party to be:

me: 25
my sisters: both 21
FH's sister: 29
FH's cousin: 24
Friend: 46

I think she was kind of expecting to be in the wedding party, and of course she pried and asked "so who are your bridesmaids?" ugh. The answer is at least somewhat easy for me, and I said "I really want it to be a family oriented wedding, so its going to be my sisters and 2 girls from his side of the family". I could tell she was a bit bummed, but in the end, it will be ok.

Like you said, you don't need to defend your decision. I personally wouldn't bring it up again unless she says something.