Hi everyone. Sorry this is long but I’d appreciate some insight and advice on how to approach an awkward plus one situation.
TLDR; found out an invited ex-coworker is bringing a random friend along on the out-of-state trip that includes my wedding when she wasn’t given a plus one. The trip includes another ex-coworker and her bf who are invited.
I am getting married on Friday, June 19, 2020 out of state in San Diego (live in Las Vegas). We’ve finalized our guest list and have long sent out STDs. We will be sending out our formal invitations in April. Due to our culture and both mine and my SO’s very large families, we tried to minimize the guest list where we could— which included limiting plus ones only to those in serious relationships and/or those we actually know and have spent time with. We have no guests who would be “alone”. Our guest list still reached 250, which is still more than we’d ideally like. All of our close single friends and cousins have already declined to a plus one and completely understand.
However... I’m inviting a handful of coworkers-turned-friends from my previous job that I left more than a year ago. One friend, “Kelly”, recently posted an Instagram story of a trip itinerary to San Diego from Thursday, June 18 to Sunday, June 21. I saw that she had our wedding on there, to my excitement. In the story she tagged her BF and my other ex-coworker, “Cynthia”, who ARE invited... BUT also a random guy “Keith” who I don’t know. So I DM’d her expressing my excitement at first and then asked who Keith was. She said that he is Cynthia’s new friend. I then asked if he is going on the trip with them and she said yes. They are coming to the city for vacation as well and the wedding is only part of their 4-day trip.
I didn’t give Cynthia a plus one. I don’t know if she assumes she has one or if *super optimistic thinking* she didn’t and this Keith has other plans on Friday. We’ve cut a lot of people, even a few from the same group of coworkers who I wasn’t as close to but who she’s friends with. There are four other single ex-coworkers in this group invited that do not have a plus one. They are all friends with Cynthia and Kelly as well (meaning none of them were ever going to be alone). So considering coworkers are at the bottom of our priority invites, it’s also unfair that she would be an exception to the guideline we’ve made when many other and more important people could take the place of this plus one ie. giving our best friends plus ones/other people who were cut.
I really do not want to invite this random guy, especially since they’ve only been friends for a couple of months. We don’t really feel like shelling out $100ish on someone we don’t know either. My SO is pretty firm about not inviting him and suggested I maybe talk to Cynthia to explain or Kelly to get more info first.
How should I go about this? Especially since Idk if she expects to bring him, but it’s also messed up that they’d go to a wedding without him in the middle of their trip. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
