Awkward Invite Situation

She probably felt weird herself having to ask, but it sounds like bringing her SO is important to her and worth considering. Do you have room in your guest list to add one more person?

View Quoted Comment Our guest list already felt overwhelming and we ended up with a higher number than we wanted. I feel if it was that important to her I wish she came to us. The fact that she was mad she didn’t get a plus one at all gets me frustrated, too. We didn’t give anyone a plus one who wasn’t in a relationship.

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If you aren't willing to budge, then I would just tell her that you are unable to accommodate her SO and hope she can still make it.

I wouldn't even worry about it until she brings it up to you herself. Simply let her know that the guest list has been set and what you have now is even pushing it.

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But she is in a relationship...

If it were me I'd call and apologize for the oversight as you didn't know she was in a relationship and gladly extend the invite to her SO.

View Quoted Comment If numbers allow it, this would be a nice gesture.

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Agreed. I had to do this with a few of FH's friends. He had no clue, or just didn't think it was important information. After his friends received invites a few of them called and asked about bringing an SO and one kid. We told them of course! I would have invited them by name to begin with, but my FH wasn't diligent about finding out all the information.

Give her a plus one. Say you just heard that she was dating someone and you would love to see them there at the wedding.

View Quoted Comment This. If you had known beforehand, would you
have invited the SO? If so, then letting him
come would be the right thing to do.

If apologize for the oversight and invite her SO. Chances are you're going to have at least one other person decline to allow some wiggle room for them to come.

For this reason, to avoid this kind of situation - i sat my FH down and we discussed having plus ones for all of the guests. Many of them have children, and you never know if some of them have a SO since we don't know the day to day of everyones life. We are in the early stages of planning and I already forsaw this being a last minute issue. Honestly, I would reach out to your friend and try to be accommodating. Ask her why she didnt reach out to you directly and inform her that you were not aware that she had a SO.

I don't think that someone who has been in a relationship for 4 months (that you didn't even know about) is something to worry about. If your guest list doesn't allow for it, don't concern yourself!

If it were me, I'd just reach out to her and apologize for not including her SO and invite him.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. It depends on how close the fiance’s friend is. If its someone you both want there and have a good relationship with, then she should get a plus one even though shes being passive aggressive.

If your guest list allows it, id say sure extend her a plus one. If not, reach out and tell her you didnt know she was in a relationship and that unfortunately you cant accommodate anymore guests.
I also feel its so akward and odd that she didnt each out to you as an adult herself and ask forna plus one

Listen! This is your wedding and no guest has the right to be mad that they don't have a plus one. The rules of etiquette say you don't have to extend a plus one unless they are married or dating for at least 6 months. Regardless of etiquette you didn't know about the plus 1 therefore that person isn't very significant to you. Why would you invite an insignificant person to your wedding?

In summary, this is your wedding. Invite whoever you feel comfortable inviting and stay within your budget.

When I heard through the grapevine after invites went out that my cousin was in a relationship, I reached out to him directly and said she was welcome to come to.

I think this friend should have contacted you and FH directly instead of having someone else tell you. I would invite her SO, but she needs to be an adult and reach out to you first

View Quoted Comment That’s exactly what I did. FH cousin started dating someone in Feb & we sent our save the dates in Jan. I used the same list as January & had no idea that they were dating until my FMIL asked me bc she wanted to know how to address the rehearsal dinner invites. I sent the cousin a heartfelt email, apologizing for the oversight, explaining that the invites were prepared from information we received in Jan & extending her bf an invite. She was very gracious & they are going to try to make it - she’s in college & he is in the marines (and is trying to get leave that weekend) but either way she will def make it.

I would let her; a couple of ppl that RSVPd may not show so your guest number will work itself out. You'll be surprise how the ceremony and reception goes.