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Dedicated October 2020

Avoiding dress fittings because of body image issues

Coral, on December 5, 2019 at 4:26 PM Posted in Fitness and Health 0 10

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Sorry for the long rant...
So I bought my dress last black Friday by sheer dumb luck. It's been in my closet since then. My wedding is next Halloween, but the seamstress I would love to use books up quickly so I really should be calling her soon. I have struggled with weight and body image issues my whole life. I am VERY pear shaped and fell in love with a fit-and-flare/mermaidish dress that, when bought, would need to be let out a little at the bottom. I lost weight and tried it back on, and it was fine, needed to be taken in everywhere. Because of stress, life, my job taking over my life (hello, teaching!) I have gained the weight back. I plan on losing the weight again now that life has calmed down a little and we are in view of the finish line for this engagement. So now I find myself putting off and putting off calling her because I dont want to be told to let it out, then told to let it in, and because I worry it won't look good at all.
Any advice on how to move past this? Who to talk to, steps to take? I know I just need to buck up and do it but the struggle is really getting to me.

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Latest activity by Katie, on December 18, 2019 at 10:09 AM

Super June 2021
Blair · on December 5, 2019 at 4:35 PM
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I believe the hardest part you'll have to do is call her. It's better to know what alterations need to be done for the dress beforehand so there can be time to fix it. You don't want to wait too late and have regrets. You can do this! Just stop overthinking it.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on December 5, 2019 at 5:04 PM
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My alterations took 3 months and we did a TON. I'd call now and get on her books so you are scheduled, but not make the appointment until June 2020 or so. Then only bring people with you who are supportive!
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Dedicated October 2020
Coral · on December 5, 2019 at 5:07 PM
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I don't have anyone to bring with me is the other problem. So just me and a mirror.
I didn't even think about not having an appointment until the summer! All the other posts I've read talk about going in soon ish for estimates and stuff. I wouldn't have the same fit issue by June. That is actually really encouraging. Thank you!
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Expert May 2021
Danielle · on December 5, 2019 at 6:11 PM
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Unfortunately thus is a big part of it all. That dress may have to done and done again. Buuuut that's normal. Sooo many of us are gaining n losing weight. They're used to it in these shoppes. Just schedule the fitting close as you can to the wedding. But fun fact I have no boobs and had to find the right dress because I'm insecure bout my chest. We're all fighting different battles. You'll be fine.
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Dedicated October 2020
Coral · on December 5, 2019 at 6:19 PM
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Thank you for the encouragement that it is normal! I have never really been around brides so I have no idea what I'm walking into with this. I only own about three dresses other than my wedding dress!
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Super April 2020
Anna · on December 5, 2019 at 6:21 PM
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Yours took 3 months??? I always thought you need 2 months. Maybe i should make an appt for next month? Thanks for your input.
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Super October 2021
Nicole · on December 7, 2019 at 9:39 PM
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I think you should discuss this with your seamstress. You can book her but still wait until next summer to start the alterations ( i would think). if she's good she'll be honest about the timeline of when you'll need to make the decision of whether or not to let it out.

I struggle with body image issues myself and what helps me is working out. Even when im not in best shape/ at my lowest weight, i feel like a million bucks after a good workout
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Dedicated July 2020
Kimber · on December 7, 2019 at 10:08 PM
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I just had my consultation appointment today. I originally wasn’t going to have one, but I’m glad I did. She pinned my dress so that I could see what it looks like when it fits and we talked about modifications that I want (the only thing I’m changing is removing the crinoline layers, but this gives them an idea of how much work needs to be done other than fitting). She also pinned the bustle up so that I could see the options with my dress. At the end of the appointment she told me how many appointments I’ll need to have for my actual fitting, when I should go online and schedule them, and when I should schedule them for.
A lot can change between now and then with body shape, but if you can do something like this, you’ll know exactly what your time frames are.
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Devoted August 2018
Kristin · on December 8, 2019 at 5:42 PM
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I have major body image issues and have had lifelong eating disorders, and I was so worried when I was shopping for my dress two years ago because of my size. But, you know what? You won’t believe how beautiful a properly altered dress will make you look!!! They really do. Explain your fluctuating weight with her up front because she’ll Know exactly how to handle it. And finally, we women need to not ascribe any value judgement to whether a dress is taken in or let out. Taking in a dress is not “good” and letting out a dress is not “bad.” It is just what’s necessary to make the dress fit you perfectly! You got this! Make the call, it will take a lot of pressure off your shoulders! **HUGS**
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Devoted March 2019
Katie · on December 18, 2019 at 10:09 AM
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Is it possible to call her now and book appointments that are a more realistic time for an October wedding? Say, early August?

I know this is harder than your non-wedding self thinks it should be, and that is totally OKAY! Talk through this with a close friend or family member, and since you're making the appointment so far in advance, enlist in that same person to come to the appointment with you for support! We're not always happy with the way that we look, and it's good that you recognize that you're not happy and want to make a change, but don't dwell on this time - you've gotten so much accomplished and have done too much good to dwell on this
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