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Krystina
Expert June 2015

Autistic Child At Wedding

Krystina, on May 19, 2015 at 9:20 AM Posted in Planning 0 24

I am looking for advise on how to help my cousin and her son who is 8 or close to 8 and autistic. They will be attending the wedding and reception. I am just looking for suggestions on how to help make him comfortable at the wedding. I was thinking of setting up a small area where they can go by themselves if he gets overwhelmed(crowds do that to him easily, and there will be about 50 people there total). He doesn't like strangers, but he LOVES my daughter and being around her. They are good friends and I am somewhat close to my cousin. I do plan to consult my cousin on anything I can do to help make it easier on them. Yes I know it's not required, but I know if it were the other way around I would sure appreciate the thoughtfulness and care about my child. Also it is at a state park, so they can even go off hiking or wandering if needed to help him cope. He loves to be around nature. Just looking for any ideas others may have.

24 Comments

Latest activity by Sayanna, on May 21, 2018 at 6:55 PM
  • Zoni
    Super August 2015
    Zoni ·
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    I'm autistic, as are both of my kids, so maybe I can help.

    Having a place where he can go to be alone and calm down is a very good idea. Ask his parents what he uses to destress, too. His mother may be able to bring a portable DVD player (with headphones) or a particular book that helps him chill out. The parents are always the best to ask, but space to go if he gets overloaded is a must, I'd think.

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  • melissa
    Super June 2015
    melissa ·
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    I don't have personal experience with this but my co-workers son is autistic and he is very set in his routine and if anything is out of the ordinary he will get upset, he has a lot of anxiety so he needs to know exactly what is going to happen and when.

    Every child is different so I think you will just need to be mindful that these guests may need to leave at any given time. I would also talk to his mother and see if she has any ideas that would be good for him Smiley smile

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  • Cricket Catering
    Cricket Catering ·
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    I think having a place for them to go to be quiet is excellent. My nephew is autistic. Aside from a quiet place, the school he goes to has them work with ipads. So 90% of the time, he will "work" on his ipad and doesn't notice anyone else.

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  • klimberkat
    VIP August 2016
    klimberkat ·
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    I would talk to his mother, I'm sure she will appreciate that you want to make him comfortable. That's incredibly thoughtful and sweet of you!

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  • OG FMP
    Master August 2015
    OG FMP ·
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    My nephew is autistic. He obviously doesn't do crowds or loud places, he likes to be alone playing his video games, watching TV or doing whatever he likes to do. Headphones would be great and a quiet place. That's all I got sorry!

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  • Krystina
    Expert June 2015
    Krystina ·
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    Awesome ideas. I understand if they, or any other guest with or without kids, needs to leave. Our ceremony is planned out at about 10 minutes or less, so hopefully he will be ok for that, but if not I totally understand. I am honored that they are even attempting it with him. I'm also hoping that my daughter being there will help him out and his brother and family. The part we are all worried about is strangers, because he doesn't handle strangers well. His mom is bringing some activities for him as well. I just want to help as much as I can so that they can hopefully be able to enjoy themselves.

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  • Zoni
    Super August 2015
    Zoni ·
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    I think it's pretty cool that you're giving him some considerations, honestly. Hats off to you!

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  • Staci
    Master September 2014
    Staci ·
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    If he gets overwhelmed in crowds I'd try to make his seat at the reception close to an exit or at least not like up against a wall where he can't get out easily. Or seat him near your daughter if he is comfortable around her.

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  • Amanda
    VIP September 2015
    Amanda ·
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    I'd pitch a kids tent. Being in the park, that's the perfect place for one! He could use it as a calm area. Inside, provide some calming sensory based activities. Ask his mom what she uses or if she could bring some. Maybe a Lego bucket and some rain sticks? Portable DVD player with headphones? No matter what's inside, having a refuge space may help him to enjoy the day. Good luck!

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  • Tara
    Super June 2016
    Tara ·
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    Maybe write a social story about what to expect at a wedding, ex. ( loud noises, strangers, etc..) and include ways they can handle the overwhelming feelings ex. (take a walk on the trails, find the quiet spot or put on my headphones)

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  • Mrs. Hunnibear
    Master October 2015
    Mrs. Hunnibear ·
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    My nephew is autistic and we are going to have his ipad handy and a room where he can go if he gets too over whelmed I agree talking with his parents would be the best way to go. Good Luck Smiley smile

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  • Mrs. Bauer-*$
    Super May 2015
    Mrs. Bauer-*$ ·
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    See what activities he likes to do and set up an activity station for him.

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  • karebear87
    VIP May 2015
    karebear87 ·
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    I don't have any personal experience with this, but I would definitely talk to the Mom and ask her for her opinion. As far as I know each case is totally unique to the person/child so really the family are the only people that can give you a good answer for this.

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  • Jamgirl
    VIP July 2015
    Jamgirl ·
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    My son is Autistic, and he also doesn't like crowds and loud noises, if you're going to have music I would definitely suggest headphones if he will wear them. Going off to play at the park will be good too. My son loves to watch movies, and music videos, so if you have a laptop that you can download some music videos on or have a couple of his favorite movies that he can watch that will help also. But the best thing to do is talk to his mom she will know more than we can.

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  • Burgandyroseice
    Savvy June 2015
    Burgandyroseice ·
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    Have them go with you during the rehearsal so he is not walking into a brand new space and a crowd if he checks it out before hand then he may not get as anxious and thank you for caring

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  • FMM
    Master January 2016
    FMM ·
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    How severe is he?

    His mom will be able to offer some more insight to him, but I work with autistic kids.. Depending on his severity I can offer some suggestions in a private message.

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  • Trisha
    Master August 2015
    Trisha ·
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    I know very little about autism, so I don't have any suggestions. But I just wanted to tell you I think it's very sweet of you to consider him and go out of your way to to make him and his family comfortable.

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  • Krystina
    Expert June 2015
    Krystina ·
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    Thanks. After talking to his mom she thinks the best options are an area for just him and a few people like his mom and a friend(his brother or my daughter or a grandparent). She also said if my dad is able to during the reception portion letting them hang out since they are great buddies. My dad is the only guy besides his "Grampy" that he likes. She is going to bring her phone with some of his favorite games as well for him to play. He isn't severe, however crowds and noises can overwhelm him quickly, so we are just going to do the best we can. He doesn't get loud when overwhelmed but he does try to hide, which being in a park could be dangerous, especially around the lake. His mom is going to be with him the whole time though to keep him from running off. We may find him hiding under a table though.

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  • Whitney Wingert
    Expert April 2016
    Whitney Wingert ·
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    I also want to say that I think it is wonderful you are doing this for him. Im sure his mom appreciates you taking this much time and consideration into making the wedding an event that he can attend with an out if need be. I dont have any suggestions that havent already been stated but I will agree with a quiet place for him to get away from the strangers and noise is a good idea.

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  • Sonya
    Expert June 2015
    Sonya ·
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    Everyone has already given you great advice!! My first job at 13 was working at a Special Needs camp. It's very thoughtful and kind of you to make him feel comfortable. I hope he has a great time and enjoys himself. Kudos to you!!

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