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Kelsey
VIP September 2020

Aunt plus 1

Kelsey, on August 21, 2020 at 2:50 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 24
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My aunt texted me this week asking if she could bring a guest to my wedding, we haven't given a final headcount and we are way below where we thought we would be so I said yes. When I did my invites I had asked if she wanted a plus 1 and she had told me no. After giving her a plus 1, I texted her a few days later for the individual's name, all I got back was it's a male friend... Ok that's fine, but can I least have his first name for place cards. She finally got back to me. She told she was only bringing Bill (aka male friend) to make my uncle jealous. My aunt and uncle were never married; but my "aunt" who I guess isn't technically my aunt has a daughter from another relationship and my uncle has always been a father figure for her. So we have always been in each others lives. Well my uncle started seeing his girlfriend about 2 years ago and has yet to introduce her to my aunt or her daughter my cousin. My uncle is bringing his girlfriend to the wedding. I feel like this is a whole lot of drama waiting to happen. Ugh this is going to be a mess. I should of asked my mom before I gave an immediate answer to my aunt. And to make everything worse, my aunt stated that if Bill can't make she is bringing her other friend Cheryl and my mom and I both can't stand Cheryl. I should of said no... I don't know what I'm looking for here right now, maybe reassurance that everything will be ok and they can be adults for one evening.

24 Comments

Latest activity by Tiante, on August 22, 2020 at 10:55 AM
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    I know I had concerns about people getting along at my wedding, but they all managed to put their feelings aside and act like adults. I hope the same can be said for your family, but your aunt sounds rather childish if her whole reason for inviting Bill is just to make your uncle jealous.

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  • Molly
    Rockstar September 2020
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    Jesus. Maybe you can text you aunt and say Due to COVID restrictions we are now unable to honor the plus one we added for you. I'm sorry I hope this news does not come as an inconvenience.

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  • Minimalist Bride
    Master April 2021
    Minimalist Bride ·
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    Oh wow this is tough. I don't think she should be bringing anyone you don't care for nor someone to make your uncle jealous.
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    I would do that, but she is also my baker for my cupcakes and my venue sent her the new rules that need to be followed along with how many we can so it's like she kind of knows that she could easily have a plus 1 when we are below 288 and only have 89 people attending.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    Yeah and they haven't like been together in like 20 years so I'm not sure why she is doing this. I think it's because my uncle didn't bother to tell them that his girlfriend was coming until end of July. So in a weird way he had it coming because he didn't go about it in the best manner either. Actually he wanted my mom and I to tell my aunt and cousin about this girlfriend. That didn't happen.

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  • Molly
    Rockstar September 2020
    Molly ·
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    Dang. I'm sorry. I hope they will all act like adults for your big day!

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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I guess I don't understand why your uncle has to report to your aunt about who he is dating.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    At this point I would rather have Bill lol! At least I won't have someone dancing on tables and yes I'm not even kidding we went to their camper one weekend and that is what my aunt's friend Cheryl was doing. It was so inappropriate.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    I guess I don't either. But they have been going out for 2 years and my uncle has seen my cousin, her kids and my aunt on numerous occasions I feel like that is something that would of been brought up by now..

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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    In my opinion, it sounds like your aunt just needs to grow up. My friend who lives with her mom didn't even realize her mom had a boyfriend for over a year until she came home from work early one day and he was sitting in their living room. It sounds like your aunt and uncle's family situation is complicate. If he is seeing someone that is his business and he isn't required to tell anyone, but the bride and groom if he plans on bringing a date to the wedding. I just hope your aunt can be an adult about the situation.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    I'm hoping she will just give my uncle and his GF the cold shoulder. I have seen her do it to past girlfriends my uncle has had. Hoping it goes the same way. I can ignore that at least on the day of.

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  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    Say a prayer she behaves like an adult. If they have relationship issues that needs to be resolved in another setting that is not your wedding. Maybe see if you can get security for the day to remove any troublemakers.
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    Oh I have been. And they do have issues that need to be resolved. Maybe that would be a good idea...I don't know. I'm hoping she just gives them (uncle and GF) the cold shoulder as she has done before.

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  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    It's always better to be prepared and not need something than to figure out what to do when you don't have it.
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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think it would be ok to tell her that you can't honor the plus one in this time

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    True. My mom has told my aunt that if she tries to bring Cheryl that my mom is kicking them both out so I know that isn't going to be an issue.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    It wouldn't be considered bad etiquette?

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  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    Good. Hopefully it won't get to that point.
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  • Super August 2020
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    It would technically be bad etiquette, but COVID has made it impossible to follow a lot of the etiquette rules and I think your aunt crossed the bad etiquette bridge by asking to bring a guest just to spite someone else. Now, since it's clear that she holds a grudge, it may not be the best idea to take back the invitation to Bill because you don't want her to react by refusing to make your cupcakes. However, if it turns out that Bill isn't available, you can tell her, "we really only want to have people we're close to at our wedding. I kind of regretted telling you that you could bring someone, but since you already said you were bringing Bill, I didn't want to take that away from you. But now that he he can't make it, we really don't want you to bring someone else."

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    That makes sense I think that is what I will do. If Bill can make it, that's fine but the plus 1 isn't going to someone else especially someone I don't like. Thank you

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