Attire for siblings who aren’t in the wp

I have a FBIL that may or may not be an usher. Idk. 🙄
I assume he's renting the outfit and showing up.
Or not renting the outfit and not showing up.Or wearing whatever he wants and not being an usher.
My FSIL is maybe renting a girl tux. Maybe not. She'll decide later.If she doesn't, I'm having her wear a black dress.

The only sibling not in our wedding was my husband's older brother. His four children were though. My brother-in-law worn a black suit he owned with a white button down shirt and red, black and white striped tie. He happened to pick something that would match the bridal party, but he knew our wedding colors since his children were in the wedding. Below I included a photo of my husband and I with all of his siblings. His sister and younger brother were both in the wedding. The older brother who wasn't is the guy next to his sister. I agree that a dress that looks like she is going to a club wouldn't be appropriate. I have linked some dresses that are still young looking, but more appropriate. I would she likes any of them and if you can afford maybe even offer to buy the dress for her.





https://www.amazon.com/sidefeel-shoulder-sleeve-skater-medium/dp/b01n78caqn/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=blue+dresses+for+women&qid=1577975860&sprefix=blue+dress&sr=8-3

https://www.amazon.com/muxxn-fashion-sleeveless-stretch-bridesmaid/dp/b07nq191t8/ref=mp_s_a_1_42?dchild=1&keywords=blue+dresses+for+women&qid=1577976504&sprefix=blue+dress&sr=8-42

https://www.amazon.com/berydress-womens-sleeveless-halter-6012-royal/dp/b07s73gnf7/ref=mp_s_a_1_21_sspa?keywords=short+blue+formal+dresses+for+women&qid=1577976812&sprefix=short+blue+f&sr=8-21-spons&psc=1&spla=zw5jcnlwdgvkuxvhbglmawvypueywedqsvyxrlvurvpcjmvuy3j5chrlzelkpuewndu1mtuwmuq0ukfbrlznovnewszlbmnyexb0zwrbzelkpuewodqxmjeywllmwvrkqtq2rtbajndpzgdlde5hbwu9c3bfcghvbmvfc2vhcmnox2f0zl9uzxh0jmfjdglvbj1jbglja1jlzglyzwn0jmrvtm90tg9nq2xpy2s9dhj1zq==

https://www.amazon.com/insnova-summer-formal-graduation-junior/dp/b07gjp8v2y/ref=mp_s_a_1_60?dchild=1&keywords=short+blue+formal+dresses+for+women&qid=1577976848&sprefix=short+blue+f&sr=8-60

Years ago, my sister and I both did readings in one of our brother's weddings. It was a Catholic mass, followed by a very high-end evening reception. We both wore knee length cocktail dresses of our choosing (not revealing and not in the "wedding color"). I agree a dress appropriate for clubbing probably isn't a great choice for doing a reading -- especially if it's a church ceremony. If you're not comfortable, can you ask FMIL to explain to FSIL what might be a more appropriate choice? (She can always change to the clubbing dress for the reception -- that choice will reflect on her and no one else.) Good luck!

None of my siblings were in the wedding party. I asked them to help with different aspects, though, so they ended up wearing coordinating outfits that fit with our "theme" of fall.

I think your brother's attire sounds lovely. It is your future sister-in-law's outfit I would be considered about. It sounds like she might be young and doesn't know what is appropriate attire for a wedding. Maybe you can suggest going together to look at something to wear and then grab lunch. Make it a fun girls day.

I had my bridesmaids wear pink. So I told my sis in law if she wanted to wear pink that's fine too especially cus I did have my brother and his wife walk down the aisle

Maybe she needs to be reminded that this isn't a club, it's a wedding. Your wedding, and what she is suggesting is not appropriate for that occasion.

She can suck it up for one day, in order to go along with your vision. If she can't, then maybe she needs to not be involved in the wedding ceremony.

Given that choice, she'll probably choose to wear something more appropriate.

I seem to be the only one with this opinion but if your siblings aren’t in the wedding party then they are attending as guests and as such can wear what they choose. The only people I know what they are wearing are me, FH, and our children. My brother is doing a reading and it never crossed my mind what he’s going to wear. I’m just happy to have my family and friends there to join our celebration.

For the purpose of the pictures looking good, I plan on telling my parents, grandparents, in-laws, and my brother who is not in the wedding what colors they should wear.

If my brother was being difficult (like your FSIL seems to be) I would pretty much specifically tell him what EXACTLY to wear.

At the end of the day, she's probably going to do whatever she wants and you can either decide to be mad about it or not.