Attending sisters wedding

That’s a tough situation. I know that I wouldn’t miss my sister’s wedding. And I would expect the same from her.

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I agree with this.

When people choose to have weddings abroad, they should do so with the understanding that not everyone will come. Even if your sister helps with the cost, will anyone be there to help with your children? As a mom I can't imagine trying to care for two small children in a foreign country all by myself.

Don't panic. Talk to her. Be honest about your struggles. See if there's anyone you can travel with or help. Can your husband watch the older child? Can you livestream the wedding? Maybe this will be a good opportunity to try leaving the baby at home with your husband. The baby is 8 months. A lot of moms are done with maternity leave and away from their babies at that age. Some people have no choice but to do so. Separation happens.


Ultimately, your sister chose to have a wedding abroad. If you can't go, these things happen.
I don't know what your financial situation is or what your coparenting arrangement is, but reading between the lines, I am wondering if your husband is as involved as he should be, which is a separate issue that ultimately affects your attendance. Does he sleep through each night while you're the one fussing over the baby? Are you still breastfeeding? Why is your first inclination to take both kids? Does he ever watch the kids on his own?
You need to take time for yourself, whether you attend this wedding or not.

Hi everyone! Thanks for the replies. I was trying to find a way to delete this because I made my mind up and was going to go no matter what.


However, flights have gone and the only ones left are ridiculously expensive and cannot be justified. So the decision has been made for me (unless anything changes!). This has left me very upset which cements the fact I knew I would regret not going. My sister is a beautiful soul who has always been understanding and has said I will be on live video throughout the whole proceedings.
As for the seperate issues - yes I am completely exhausted and pretty much do it all! I know 8 months is quite old but she is ebf and screams if she's not with me or if anyone else tries settling her. We keep trying but for now she is extremely attached and still feeds a lot. Husband makes things worse when he tries to settle her (not his fault!) and it just becomes more exhausting. My eldest was the same and I think it is either a matter of sleep training or riding the wave. I struggle with sleep training so we are riding the wave for now. To my own detriment.
As for not taking me eldest. It was an option (husband would love to have her...both if baby wasn't so attached) but she was quite upset and it seemed like I was including baby and not her. My sister was also quite upset.
Anyway...for now the choice has been made. If anything changes, I am booking straight away. Kicking myself for being so emotional, stressed and indecisive. But if I am honest with myself, it's been tough and I've been in a fog/not myself.
Thanks so much everyone.

I would accept your sister's help and leave the children home with your husband/their father since he's not going anyway. This would take a lot of stress off you and also give you a break. If your sister is offering money to help with flights, my guess is she really wants you there. I know I'd try everything to be at my sister's wedding, especially if she was present at mine.