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Just Said Yes August 2020

At a loss...

Kelli, on January 2, 2020 at 1:02 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 5

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So I'm just at a loss...Here's the tea:

I asked my best friend of 10 years to be my MOH fairly soon after being engaged. She was excited and looking forward to helping me plan. Then we changed jobs (we used to work together for a bit) where she wasn't as financially stable as she was before. We talk, she says she can't pay for bridal shower, feels pressured to "preform" and make everything perfect (not my pressure btw) and decided to step down as MOH, (yes she already bought a dress) and just be a bridesmaid and day of makeup artist. Cool fine, moving on. Now, she doesn't reply to any wedding related texts, from me, from the other bridesmaids having to plan everthing, nothing. I just don't get it....did I get ghosted by my friend?
And no she's not the jealous type. Any input would be appreciated, I just don't know what to say to her at this point.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Alycia, on January 2, 2020 at 9:30 AM

Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on January 2, 2020 at 1:28 AM
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Well what did she reply when you called to check on her and expressed your concerns about how she’s doing?
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Super August 2021
Dierdra · on January 2, 2020 at 4:24 AM
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I would call and talk to her about it. If she doesn't answer or return a voicemail I would go over to her house and ask if she still even wants to be in it. Maybe she is feeling really embarrassed or depressed about the situation and just needs a little reassurance from you that the other wedding party members aren't upset. Sorry about your situation. I hope everything gets better!
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 2, 2020 at 7:16 AM
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I agree with the other ladies that you just call her as a friend and see what's going on. Maybe she's really going through a lot and just does not want to share that. Also really the maid of honor nor the Bridesmaids are supposed to plan all of these things so maybe you can reassure her of that as you're not sure why she's feeling that pressure. I am not sure if you want her to still be maid of honor but maybe you can give her that title back and just let her know that really all she needs to do is be there to get ready with you and Stand By Your Side the day of the wedding. She already has her dress. The bridal shower is sometimes planned by the parents of the Bride. In the bachelorette party you can also help plan that so it doesn't have to be on her dime. I would call her and try to meet up with her in person just casual to see is everything okay.
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Master June 2020
Anna · on January 2, 2020 at 8:33 AM
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Hey there!
I agree, put your concern for your friend first and check on her. She may be going through something that you are unaware of.

Being a maid of honor, doesn't include wedding planning and paying for a shower, unless she offers these things.
Her duties include buying a dress and standing up for and with you on the big day. She will also sign the marriage license.
Other than that she is not obligated . Her main role should be as a friend, sharing your joy.
We as brides, can't expect our friends and family, to be as immersed in the planning process as we are, it's just impossible.
I wouldn't assume anything with out asking. If she is truly your best friend, you two should be able to talk it out and get to the root of the problem💖
Good luck. It will be fine, don't worry.
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Expert September 2021
Alycia · on January 2, 2020 at 9:30 AM
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I agree she could be embarrassed about her situation and I think you reaching out as friend would help.
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