Assumptions.

Do you have specific examples?

No, but I've been pretty clear about the vision from the beginning and nobody is contributing to the cost (which is totally fine and we were not expecting), so my motto is No Pay, No Say!

Yes. My FMIL offered to pay for invitations a long time ago. However we never heard a peep. (I gave her plenty of opportunities to step up if she wanted to. She knew the timeline of when I wanted to send STDs and invites. So I went ahead and did the save the dates and sent them out. I like them, FH likes them, my BP liked them.... so I sent them out. She very kindly pointed out everything that was wrong with them and how she would have made them better. "You should have .....". Then she proceeded to express her disappointment for me not doing them the way she would have done them. I just kinda sat and listened mostly because I was in disbelief. I like my STDs. :/ Lord help me.... we're still 180 something days away...

Your STD is beautiful and your FMIL can stuff it. Maybe have FH drop stronger hints "yeah we're going to be designing the invitations on x date, what do you think" if you want to take her up on paying for them, but with how critical she was already I'd just pay myself to not have to deal with her.

Yeah it's just easier to just do it. I'm sure I'll hear from her regardless. Even FH is over her seems like. He's been great. "Babe do what you like we can deal with her later" had been his stance on it. The worse part--- she's even talked to other people in his family about how she could've made our STDs better. Tsk tsk tsk...

I completely sympathize with you, I'm a wreck. I honestly thought I would be a calm bride but it's like overnight i turned into some OCD, incredibly anxious person. The whole process has been so draining. I have every detailed planned out, but I still obsess. I am so worried about people's comments, or lack of on that day. I am putting my heart into all the planning and want NOTHING to go wrong. I have no idea why I am reacting so crazy over this vision n details bc this should be enjoyable. I understand completely why people elope.

Yep my FMIL... Counting down the days until we say "I Do".

I second guess my self over every thing even though it's been decided on. Like, the bridesmaid dresses. I kno that half of them will hate it but I technically shouldn't care, and usually I cave. I showed them the dresses n it was such a mixed reviews. I can't win with this wedding.

I love it n I think I am the only one lol

Yes! my family can't get over the fact that we are having our reception at a restaurant in a small private room with 25 people. They want me to spend way more than FH and I can afford to have this huge traditional reception, frankly that's just not FH and I. We are hosting everyone properly and We have a huge menu and many many drink choices. Our menu is 115.00 per adult plate and somehow that's not good enough for them. I don't like putting prices out there but I also don't see their wallets out trying to help us either...FH and I would much rather have amazing food with a smaller group of our nearest and dearest than a huge room of people we don't want there or know. I attached a photo of our room. Instead of square tables there will be 5-6 round tables, the lights will be dimmed and candle lit, florals will be all around, and our head table will be against the wine wall in the back of the room. I think it will be beautiful and just what we want.

Nope, I didn't discuss anything about my wedding with anyone, except H of course. If you talk about it you open it up for discussion, and since IDGAF about anyone's opinions, I just didn't go there.

@Mary Kate I looked at that BM dress also. I personally think it looks very elegant and I love it. However, one of my bridesmaids has larger arms and pointed out that the material doesn't give and it was squeezing the hell out of her arm no matter what size. My point: you should care whether your BMs feel comfortable in their attire. It would be horrible feeling to stand in front of a room of people with an ill-fitted dress.

I completely agree with everything you said. Quality over quantity any day. Do you feel like me where even though you will dress up your venue, it's a blank slate so all you have is this vision. My venue lacks color and just needs all the decor but no one agrees with me...they think like extra uplighting or dropping is stupid. I feel I am the only one who can see its potential. I just hope my need to prove them wrong hasn't led me down this path of insanity bc i am hell bent on this vision

Well see my bridesmaids aren't rails either. I just want casablanca meets gatsby and black and white feel. I want elegance and timeless. However I am choosing dresses that are more the Jackie O time period...so I guess my wedding theme will just incorporate several decades. Lol

Our reception had to be moved to a rental hall due to the high cost of rentals, property boundary issues, and not enough room for everything (tent, bathroom trailer, parking, ceremony area, etc.). Our vision changed so much that I just want to get it over with. I know kind of how you feel. Wedding planning is enough to make anyone go insane.

I was so against the thought of hiring a wedding planner, not just bc of the cost, but bc i didn't want to look back n feel as if I need "help" with decor. However, I really have no clue about pin light, and those gobo lights or drapping and all the other things I feel the venue needs. So I am planning for all the decor while I truly don't know the extent of how my ideas will transform the room. I'm a mess.

Yes!!! My FMIL- pretty much she wanted a remake of her wedding and it took me (us) a while until we said enough is enough- so she still freaks out when she ask if we are doing X and we say NO.

Things I heard from H's family:

"Why THAT dress? You can't wear white."

"I don't understand why you just can't have it in your backyard."

"Maybe you should invite our neighbor. He might be able to get you a better deal on the hall."

And my absolute favorite "You're getting us a car for the day right? We shouldn't have to drive while we're dressed up."

No, but I don't really discuss my wedding with anyone except my fiancé.

We are paying for all ourselves so no one else really gets a say.

My adoptive mom and sister were pestering me about sensing out STDs and invitations earlier than what WW and users on here recommended. But then when I ask them stuff, they'll be like, "Oh, I just don't know the etiqutte on that." So annoyed.