Assumed Plus Ones

Were they actually "single" or were they actually dating? If they were dating, they should have been invited.

It sounds to me like the bride and groom didn't check if their single friends weren't actually single.

We put "_ out of _attending" on our invites and then filled in the second number. That way people will know the amount of people we have accommodated for them. That's extremely rude of her friends to assume they get a plus one unless they were dating/in a relationship.

I've talked to my single friends and they said they wouldn't bring a date even if they got a plus one. I did have a friend literally start dating someone a few days after i sent out invites, and she RSVP'd with his name on it. I don't really care because my best friends BF couldn't come, but I did think it was rude.

Any type of committed relationship warrants that both parties are invited by name.

Other than that, on the RSVP card, you can put:

"We have reserved __ seats in your honor" so that you can fill that in with a 1, 2, etc. If anyone ups the number on you, call them and explain.

You are not required to give plus-one options for truly single guests.

Put the number of seats you are reserving for them on the invite.

I believe even if a bride and groom checked if single friend were actually single, the way you structure your RSVP is key. We put " ___ out of ___ seats have been reserved in your name" or something similar to this.

You could run into people adding more than the seats you reserve---but this will be your way of catching it before they show up without you knowing.

@Jessie I knew a couple of the single gals from college and they were truly single.

Why are people assuming the single people weren't single and that the host was mistaken? Single people do this all the time. My coworker planned on bringing his roommate (two straight guys) and a friend of mine said she was bringing her coworker (another girl). I've also seen it happen many times at other weddings. It's rude, and it's not the bride's fault at all.

I did "We reserved ___ seats in your honor." on our invites. But even with that, we received an invite with the 2 crossed out and 8 written in. People are rude. All we can do is our best.

What I did was include a line on my RSVP card that stated ____ seats are reserved in your honor. I also addressed the invitation to those who I invited. I made sure I wasn't a rude host and not invite the significant other of any of my guests (didn't matter to me how long they were in a relationship). Some of H's guests I didn't know very well, so I made him ask them outright "are you in a relationship?" Because H went according to FB and if he didn't see a pic, or they hadn't mentioned having a SO, he just naturally assumed they were single. He ended up being wrong twice.

I gave a plus one to about 3-4 truly single guests. That was because either they were traveling quite a distance, or wouldn't know any other person at the wedding. Only two people took me up on that.

eta: my venue and DOC and had my guest list and I told my DOC only those on the guest list are invited. I invited someone from WW last minute so I had to tell her to make sure to let her and her H in lol.

And I get dating someone, but to @Kirstie's point if you start dating some once the invites have went out, I don't think personally I would invite the new boo. When I was single, dating didn't guarantee he was my long term boo. LOL. It's a thin line without insulting your friend/guest.

Thanks ladies! appreciate the tips. I think I will fill in the second number so there's no confusion.

@Lyla-No one is assuming, we are asking for clarification. Oftentimes we get people on here who make assumptions about their friends' relationship statuses. If they were truly single, the hosts were within their right not to extend a plus one and the people who brought guests were the crass ones.

@Lyla, that's rude AF, to remain a good host, I can't tolerate that. I have a cushion budget just in case we go over but still you can't just assume you're invited to someone's wedding. But shit, what do you do?

We did ___ seats reserved in your honor. A good amount of our truly single friends opted not to bring a guest which we were shocked about. We called after getting their RSVPs to double check that they didn't want to bring a date. If they were in a relationship they aren't plus one's they are a social unit and should have been invited from the gate.

Did their guests RSVP for 2 people? Or did they just RSVP for 1 person and still brought an additional guest?

There's only so much you can do, but I do advise addressing your envelopes really clearly, using the "___ seats reserved in your honor" verbiage, and following up with guests who over-RSVP right away to clear up the confusion.

Your last line of defense can always be the seating chart or escort cards! If you weren't invited you definitely won't have an assigned seat or table!

Rude as shit. If you were not invited with a random guest, you don't bring one.

In my neck of the woods? We're talking 200+ pp. You don't just add your roommate/casual date/hookup.

@WWLynnie that's a great question. I'm not sure, but from the sound of it and how upset the bride was over the addtl cost, they were invited as a single guest.

@Celia, yes! shit is crazy that people just come with a random to a wedding.

ETA: grammar

Wow so rude. That's just awful and scary to witness the day of your wedding. Those numbers add up quickly

After reading so many people's comments and posts about this on here. FH and I wanted to be prepared. We are writing in the invited guests names and filling out the number invited. We also have at the bottom of the RSVP card, "THIS IS AN INVITED GUESTS ONLY EVENT". We are also debating to put an additional guests part on our detail card regarding this but we are hoping people get the point.