Asking who else is attending a wedding

Eh, you'll have your H there with you, no? Is that not good enough?

eta: H - just realized you're married.

Just bring your H and have a good time. Don't worry about anyone else that's going to be there.

No, H won't be coming, he'll be home with the LO. This is going to involve flying across country, too

No, H won't be coming, he'll be home with the LO. This is going to involve flying across country, too

I wouldn't ask. And if you're having this many reservations, just decline.

Hmm...idk then. I'd probably decline. I don't see myself asking a bride/groom who else is on their guest list - I don't think it's any of my business, but this might depend on your relationship with the person. My MOH asked if I invited our mutual friends to the wedding, and it didn't bother me.

On the other hand if some random guest asked me, I would probably ask them why do they want to know.

If you're an introvert (like myself), then decline. Send them a card in the mail to congratulate them on their nuptials.

If it was me I wouldn't want to go to a wedding alone anyway. Nothing wrong with answering no to the rsvp and sending a gift anyway since it sounds like you are happy for the couple.

Double post

Are there any high school friends you're still close with? I think it's best to reach out and tactfully ask them about the wedding. I don't think there's a good way to talk to the bride about it, since you're basically saying that seeing her wedding isn't enough reason for you to come.

IDK @FutureMrs....planning a wedding can be stressful, and I feel like the worst part is the seating chart. I would not want to give gentle demands to the bride/groom. They have enough on their plate.

Close friend, I would flat out ask. Someone from high school with vague contact...skip

Thanks for the advice. It's actually the groom I'm friends with, and I think he invited me because I invited him and his then girlfriend, now fiancée, to my wedding a few years ago. They did not attend but I had invited several of our mutual HS friends.

I think I'm leaning towards just declining and sending a card, maybe a small gift. I'm an extrovert but not sure if I'm THAT much an extrovert.

I like the idea of testing out other HS friends to see if they're invited. I'll have to think of a polite way to ask them...

Also, sorry for the double response up above, I have no idea how to get rid of it.

I would decline.

You don't. Decide to go or don't but you'll look bad if you decline because your other friends aren't there

I don't really know if there is a way you can ask around in your friend group without it being awkward. What if other people didn't know about the engagement? Or what if they are in more frequent contact with the groom/bride but didn't get an invitation?

Personally, I would just be fine with going alone if the wedding was in a destination I would like to visit. It's always nice to have a reason to take a trip, and I have been solo at many weddings and still had a blast. Otherwise, I would stay home and send a gift or card with my regrets.

I wouldn't be flying for anyone I barely keep in touch with. Send a card and save your dollars for a trip that you and H can to take together.

I would politely decline. I wouldn't travel for a wedding without FH.

I don't think there's a good way to ask who else is invited. And I would not reach out to mutual friends from your old circle, because they may not have been invited.

FH was invited to a friend's wedding a few years ago. They were close in college, but hadn't really stayed in touch in any meaningful way since graduating 6 years earlier. The extent of their communication was FB posting (happy birthday, cute cat, merry xmas, etc.). He was honestly shocked to be invited.

He ended up not going and sending a gift.

The question you have to answer is: do you want to go? It shouldn't be contingent on who else you'll know there. If you can't justify flying across the country, then just send a card and buy a gift.