Asking potential BridesMaids

So some were just assumed as one is my sister and one my best friend... the other 2 I plan on surprising them at work with a cute little box with mini bottles of wine, a bath bomb and face masks. The lid of the box said "I can't say I do without you! Will you be my bridesmaid?"

Before I was even engaged, haha! When you know you're going to spend the rest of your life with, there isn't really a point wasting time, IMHO! I'm low-key, so I literally just asked. There shouldn't be an expectation that they'll receive gifts, you know?

Shoot for 6-8 months prior to the wedding. So after the holidays for you.

I sent a card with the venue, the colors and other wedding details. I wanted them to know what they were getting into from the get-go (mostly OOS wedding, so a little more costly...) I also wrote a note telling them how much I loved them and why I wanted them to be by my side at the wedding. It was small, but they liked getting something in the mail and I think that took the pressure off responding right away. Also, I'm a papercrafter, so it's not unusual for me to send cards.

Anywho, I'm team phone call will do just fine. You do you and don't feel like you need to make it a big proposal.

I should've waited to ask until around this time but I asked in March. I made bridesmaid boxes

I just asked and mostly all was family. I send group texts telling them about wedding details. So they can have time to get things. I'm giving all my bridesmaids a nice gift for being in my wedding. My wedding isn't until June 2018. They have cost of dress, shoes, when they need to be purchased.

I sent them a text and asked.... maybe 6 months before?

For close family, I think you can ask right away. We did. When we announced our engagement to my kids, we also asked them to be in the wedding.

However, with friends, I'd wait until 6 months or so before the wedding. They don't need to do anything other than get their outfits and show up on the day, so you don't need a long period. And if you ask too early, you risk a friendship cooling before the wedding (either naturally or because focusing on a wedding that's not your own for a long time is stressful for some people).

And please, make it as casual as possible--an in--person meeting, a phone call, or a text. Formal bridesmaid proposals risk people feeling pressured to say yes, even if they'd rather not--which will come back to bite you later. Those in your wedding party are supposed to be your best friends. Why risk a friendship because someone feels pressured to be part of a wedding even though they can't afford it, don't have time, etc.?

Ask them as soon as possible; Being in a wedding is expensive and time consuming so it gives them time to plan.

Ring Pops because they are delicious and adorable. And it fits into the whole "pop the question" thaaaang haha.

I haven't asked my yet, but 4 out of my 5 are very close family (2 siblings and 2 cousins). I'm going to ask them when I see them over the holidays, which will be about 11 months out from my wedding. I would normally say that's too soon, but I've known them my whole life and know my relationships with them are stable. The other is a friend, and I'll probably wait until January to ask her. She'll have two small children when I get married and will have to travel halfway across the country on a holiday weekend, so I do want to give her enough time to consider.

I'm making them each a picture slideshow using Microsoft Moviemaker. Each one ends with a slide asking the person to be my bridesmaid/bridesman. I'll share them individually when we are together.

The friends I chose to stand by me have been in either my life or FH's life for so long I am not worried at all about them leaving. So I asked a week after we got engaged. One of them was at the proposal, so she got asked right away that night, she loved it! Two of them were out of town, so they got asked over phone. And the last I wanted to ask in person, so we made a plan to hang out and asked her then. Her daughter is also in the wedding as flower girl.

I sent a box filled with wine a wine glass with their name, personalized wine bottle minis and straw, a frame with a photo of us, ring pop, paint samples of the colors of the wedding, and a note to each of my BM. I asked them right about 11 -10 months out, so they would have plenty of time to save and decide! They all loved it and said yes!

I asked mine early. Definitely over a year. I didn't realize there was an etiquette for that. Plus I figured the more notice they had the more chance they had to save money for their dresses, accessories etc..

Date twin!

I've asked most of mine already. I just called them. I didn't want anyone to feel pressured to say yes since all mine are from out of state. They'll be getting gifts from me later

I asked about a yer in advance. I bought photo boxes and filled them with bath bombs, nail polish, a candle, pocket calendar and glasses

Like many responses before mine, I asked about a year in advance. I do wish I had waited just a little longer, just to make sure I considered all my options before making things official. Because I jumped the gun a little, I feel that I may have left out someone that is close to me who really should be in my wedding party. And now I feel that if I ask her months after I've asked everyone else (and yes, she is aware of who I have asked), it will be more of an insult than anything. As long as you give yourself enough time to work out dresses with them and maybe shower/bachelorette planning, I think you can hold off until you feel ready

I'm asking a year out. I was in the bridal party for each bridesmaid when they got married, and we're still very close--so I think they're expecting it. They're also asking for details on the wedding, what dress I'm getting, etc and I hate asking them for advice or anything without asking them to "officially" be a part of it! Plus to give time to budget, as others have mentioned--most will be traveling.

I asked a couple weeks after we were engaged. Which was over a year out. You have to know your crowd so to speak. I'm older so all my bridesmaids are in the same age range. Factoring in the fact that they all have families and other responsibilities I felt giving them the time to budget for the expenses they will incur was fair. Since it is so early I've committed to treating them all to dinner once a month NWR we went out on Saturday and had a great time. Friendships don't fizzle when you nurture them. You just need to remain conscious of the fact that although they are your bridesmaids that isn't their only function in your life and it certainly is not the most important.

My BP live over 5000 miles away from the venue so I first had a long chat with each of them about attending the wedding as a guest and once I knew they were willing and able to make it work I asked them to be in the BP. I would have asked much closer to the time if it wasn't a destination wedding for them!