Asking my future sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid

If you want to ask her and feel comfortable with having her, ask her. But you should definitely wait to ask your BP. It's usually best to wait until you're 8-10 months out from the wedding to ask. There are plenty of threads on here about people who have asked way too early and something happens and they regret asking because they want to kick people out.

You should ask her because you genuinely want her standing beside you on your wedding day.

Not because your FH wants you to.

Not because she isn't engaged or married.

But because *you* want her to stand beside you.

So, the question is, do you?

ETA: Your wedding isn't until April 2018. Wait until July or August 2017 to ask her or anyone else to be in your bridal party.

There's nothing wrong with asking her. The worst thing she can say is no but I doubt that she will, it's her brother's wedding

Wait until the end of the year to ask everyone

I would ask her (ETA in a few months. It's way too early right now to ask anyone). If she declines, she declines. All she has to do is buy the dress and show up relatively sober, so it's not a big commitment.

FWIW, I asked all my FSILs because even though we're not super close now, I can't imagine not having FH's sisters in our wedding. They all live out of state and all have very busy lives (including serious medical issues, moving, and major job changes). They're still really excited to be in their brother's wedding!

1. It is customary to ask you bridesmaids between 6-8 months. Life can change a lot over the course of a year+.

2. Don't pick someone because you feel obligated. Pick people who are important to you.

Why doesn't your FH ask her to stand with him?

My main concern is asking her and possibly getting a yes for her to turn back around and say no because she doesn't have time along with her own wedding planning. Her intention is to get married six months after the engagement. It just doesn't feel like she will really be able to focus on the wedding celebrations such as the bridal shower or bachelorette party etc

You should ask because you want her in the party. If she declines then that is fine. It's her choice.

I'm asking early for everyone's financial reasons. Such as buying a dress, helping with the bridal shower and my MOH is planning a bachelorette party in Vegas and also two of them live out of state. One as far as Thailand .

If you want her to stand with you because you can't see yourself getting married without her, then ask her. Don't ask anyone as a favor, these are places of honor for the people that make a difference in your life. When you ask, she may say no, because as you mentioned she has too much on her own plate, but it would still probably make her feel close to you that she was considered.

Also, don't ask until the end of summer, you should be 9-10months out from the wedding. You may or may not feel differently about your relationship by then.

ETA: I saw your response, the bridal party is not required to throw a bridal shower, or a bachelorette. You should ask first, then ask their financial affordability for dress only, not for anything else. Nothing else is required of them other than to show up smiling in the dress you asked on your wedding day.

It isn't her responsibility to help with the bridal shower, or the bach party. She gets her dress, shows up and that's it. If she OFFERS to do more, then great. But you do not tell her that she has to do those things.