Asking guests to pay for their meal

In short, no. The reception is meant to be a thank you from the couple for the guests taking their time to attend the wedding. To cut costs, you can do things like a cake and punch reception at a non-meal time.

No.........

Thank you for saying that!

Short answer - Nope. You are hosting your guests when they attend your reception, and you should provide food as the host of the party. If budget is tight, consider an appetizer only or cake and punch reception (just make sure that's clear on the invites - guests expect a meal to be provided at a wedding reception).

View Quoted Comment Thank you Haleigh!

Not at all ! Don’t do it please. As pp said if you’re there to host them it would be better not to expect that or ask for that.

Never. If you can't afford a full meal, just have cake and coffee at a non meal time. But you don't invite guests to a wedding and tell them to pay their own way.

No. Not at all. But, if you’re flexible, then there are alternate ideas if catering costs are an issue.

Nope, not a good idea.

Nope. If you can’t afford to host your guests (even with an afternoon wedding and cake & punch reception), then elope.

Definitely not. The point of reception is to thank the guests for attending your wedding so if you can't afford to properly host them then you either need to cut back the number of guests you are having or have your wedding at a non-meal time.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow I don’t think I would advise someone to just elope like that but okay lol that one way to put it lol😬

You can get a sheet cake from Costco. If you want it stacked, a grocery store might charge $100 for 3 tiers. Punch is super easy (tons of nonalcoholic recipes online and shouldn't cost more than $10 to put together.

Okay, so my FH wanted me to ask if that was a good idea and good way to save money. Because we are paying for our whole wedding ourselves. I don’t think that’s a bad thing btw. Our wedding is small 55 guests and budget is around 8500. Over half the wedding is already paid for. But his dad keeps telling him we could save money by getting married at the courthouse or something saving that money for a house.
I have planned this whole wedding from day one. Honestly I think I’m doing awesome job of staying in our budget and not over spending on the wedding. But I want a nice wedding, not tacky!

View Quoted Comment Stand your ground. There are many things that can be cut to save money but asking your guests to pay their own way with food and drink is not ok. A cake is not expensive if you go the grocery store route and you can still have a nice wedding.


His dad is already married so at that point, his opinion is moot, and men often don't have input and typically just show up so don't understand costs or etiquette involved.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Jana, we had already planned on doing a small cake for display and sheet cake for guests from the grocery store.

I think what you instead should be looking at doing is make it known in your invitations that you’re having a wishing well instead of a registry.


For our wedding, we don’t want gifts (we really don’t need anything), so we are having a wishing well instead. We are particularly doing this as I come from a culture where people give monetary gifts and pay for their seat essentially.
In saying this, even if you *politely* signal for monetary gifts, you can’t have any expectations that people will give you a gift (although IMHO turning up to a wedding without a physical or monetary gift is a HUGE no no) or how much that gift will be.

Then you're all set. Serve punch with it and you're good to go. You don't need to serve a full meal if it's out of your budget.

View Quoted Comment Asking for gifts or cash in the invitation is considered very rude especially by your older guests. While some cultures don't have a problem with it, many do. It's the same as asking guests to pay for their food.


If people want to give gifts, which are optional, they will ask by word of mouth where you are registered.

View Quoted Comment We are wording it in our invitations to make it clear that we are having a wishing well that people are welcome to contribute to if they wish to. I am certainly not a fan of any directives requesting it specifically but I think it is something that can very easily be resolved by using appropriate wording.


In my books, coming to a wedding bare handed is the biggest etiquette sin! It’s like coming to a kid’s birthday party without a gift, you just don’t do it. I think where invitations are great when they mention wishing wells or registries, it actually gives you some guidance as to what the get the happy couple!