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Suzanne
Just Said Yes August 2019

Asking guests to pay for activities

Suzanne, on March 18, 2019 at 1:58 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
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We are getting married in Scotland and are trying to schedule events for guests to participate in with the bride and groom (spa for bride and golf and scotch tasting for groom). These are events we plan to send invitations out to guests and we had to place sizable deposits for. But it’s not in our budget to cover the entire cost of these events. I’m sure I know the answer to this question, but is it tacky to include the cost per person on the invitation? Or include another card that states the cost? Also, since we’ve put down the deposit, how do we sort reimbursement for that or do we just burn it? Thanks.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Elizabeth, on March 18, 2019 at 3:31 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    If you’re inviting people to join you on these activities but not requiring they come, I’d include the cost on an insert card. I think you should just eat the deposit though and have them pay their portion of said activity to the place providing the activity.
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  • Kim
    Super September 2019
    Kim ·
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    Hi! Is this a destination wedding? If it is, as a guest, I wouldn't want to spend anymore money as I will be paying for hotel and travel already. I guess you just have to know your crowd.

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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    If you are inviting people you should be hosting 100%. I had a DW and hosted extra events. If you couldn't afford that you should not plan the events or you should have cut your guest list.


    ETA: you can also just say "hi we're gonna be doing xyz, if you wanna join you're more than welcome" and not make it an invite event. The second someone gets formally invited it is assumed that cost is going to be covered.

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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    Have you put down deposits assuming a certain number of people would go?

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would make it optional. I'd include another card, explaining there are some events the bride & groom will be doing that guests are welcome to join in on other than the actual wedding. Then I'd have some sort of RSVP card checking yes or no if they want to with price & I'd have them pay the day of.

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  • Concetta
    Super March 2020
    Concetta ·
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    Hi, I think for leisure activities I would maybe put on the wedding website but not make it seem mandatory (not that you insinuated it was), but if you are having a welcome, rehearsal or farewell party than you will be responsible to host/pay. My brothers attended a wedding in Puerto Rico, they were invited to a welcome and farewell but all of their excursions they did even with bride and groom they paid for themselves Smiley smile I do not see an issue with this and I would not even think that the couple would pay for these to begin with lol

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  • Concetta
    Super March 2020
    Concetta ·
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    I think this is a great idea!

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    I agree with both of these.
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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    I would just include a cost card with the invite. As for the deposit, y'all will probably have to take that on yourself.

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  • E
    Dedicated June 2019
    Elizabeth ·
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    That’s so nice you’re planning extra events! If they aren’t in the budget, I would just direct people to the wedding website and include items there about cost, location, times so that people can choose what fits their itinerary and budget. That’s what we are doing with wine tastings after our wedding- we are hosting a brunch for everyone (we are paying) and then people who would like to continue along for wine tastings are free to join us, but will have to buy their own tastings.
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