asking grooms parents to contribute?

You don't ask. You and your FH start planning the wedding you can afford and maybe they will offer to help with some areas once the planning gets going.

I find it odd that they haven't either offered to help or expressed their regret over not being able to help. I don't think anyone just expects the bride's family to foot the bill these days, but then again, they're probably out of the wedding loop. Are these the kind of parents who always told FH that they would help him out if he ever needed anything? If FH has the kind of relationship where it's okay, he could bring it up with them, because it does make a difference in your planning. Which you really don't have that much time for, at this point! (Not sure how far you are in the process, but 5 months is not a lot of time.)

I agree with allysia, you don't ask. If his parent's want/can contribute, they will bring it up on their own. You will want to play the wedding that you and FH can afford on your own. Do not make any assumptions that people will contribute to the wedding until they tell you.

This totally depends on your FH's relationship with his parents. With my parents, I could easily have a conversation along the lines of, "Hey mom and dad, we're starting to work out a budget for our wedding. We are planning to pay for this ourselves, but I know how generous you are and that you might offer to contribute something. If you were thinking about doing that, it would be helpful to know while we're laying out our budget. Would you be willing to talk about it more specifically sometime soon? Again, we've got this covered ourselves and no matter what all we want is for you to be there to support us and have a great time at the wedding, if that's all you're planning to do."

In some relationships, talking about money is totally taboo, no matter what level of expectation/entitlement/etc exists. FH would know best.

A reason they may not have offered is because they don't have the means. Or they're going the traditional route and only paying for the rehearsal dinner.

I wouldn't ask... it is just not something you ask... plan the wedding you and FH can afford and don't rely on the help of others.

You never ask anyone to contribute to your wedding. If they are able and choose to contribute, they will come to you. If they don't then it's all on you.

I do feel like his parents may be a little out of the loop and i really dont think they were expecting us to get engaged anytime soon so maybe they didnt have enough time to even get use to the idea. But his parents are super nice and helpful I've actually been facebook messaging her back and forth for quite awhile now letting her know what kind of dress my mom is going to wear so that she can have an idea when she starts looking. also i send her pictures of all the decorations i've made and of my dress...ect alot of his aunts are planning to help with the reception and are all really nice to me and excited from what i can tell... And i even wrote up how i'd like the newspaper announcement to look and i emailed it to her and she seemed happy about it she asked what photo i would like to put with it.

He does have a pretty good relationship with his parents if he ever needs anything his parents would help him in a second.. Whenever he runs into money issues his mom and dad are always there to help as well.

Let your fh handle it. He'll know if his parents want him to ask or will offer when theyd like.

And honestly the only thing i would like is if they could take care of the rehearsal dinner just cause my mom is planning to make the food for the actual wedding which will be alot of work.. she wont want to (and i dont think my parents should) be in charge of two different meals... my fiance and i can always take care of it ourselves also its not a big deal.

I agree with what the other ladies have said, you don't ask you plan for what you can afford and if they offer then you can figure out what to do with the money once you have the money in hand. Don't rely on promises of money because situations change. However, from your post I get the impression that you are expecting them to contribute. There is no rule that says that parents have to contribute, so even though they are super helpful whenever he needs money, it doesn't necessarily mean that they will be willing to contribute to his wedding.

I just said. "Mom is it still at $x or $y for our wedding?" She said $x. As we almost finishing planning and if the need for money comes up, FH is just flat out ask his dad for $z and accept whatever he gives us. But we both of those types of relationships with our parents.

And https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums-search-results?cx=001510200069945039677%3Ab2kwgfgdebc&cof=FORID%3A11&ie=UTF-8&q=asking+parents+to+contribute&sa=Go

You don't.

if they want to help with anything, they'll offer. if they don't, then that's it. unfortunately, in this day and age, the traditions are out the window on this one. in most cases these days, you're getting married, you're an adult, you're capable of paying for your own wedding.

Ask your FH what he thinks, maybe he'll think it's better to ask, maybe he'll think it's best to leave it alone and let them come to you guys. I know in our case, FH wanted to have a discussion about any potential contributions, so he did that (alone). They were like "about time, what were you waiting for?" lol. They were just waiting for him to sit down with them and ask. In my case, my parents offered before we even officially got engaged, lol. Every set of parents and relationship with them is different and should be approached accordingly.

If your fiance doesn't know how to ask them (meaning he doesn't have the type of open relationship where how to ask them is a no brainer) you're entering into territory where this could be very very awkward.

I asked my dad if he would like to contribute, but that's how we are. I would never ask FHs mom to contribute. She did say to me over a conversation a month ago that she would hope that if we needed help we would ask her. And that she doesn't have a lot but she has some. I appreciated it, and said thank you and that I would keep it in mind. Honestly though, FH has an uncle who just won 20k in a poker tournament, he asked me how we were doing and if we had enough money for the wedding... -_- ...that was an awkward conversation...knowing he just won that money almost made me want to be like "no we're going in to huge debt...why don't you give me some of your money?" - but I would never do that lol

I wouldn't ask---if they are able they will bring it up to you.

We have wonderful relationships with our parents and are pretty open with one another, but I would never ask either set to contribute. You plan the wedding your can afford. Plus, this is 2015 and my DH and I are professionals so why would we rely on outdated (who's paying) traditions.

Your FH needs to ask. I simply said "we're trying to get a budget in mind. I don't expect anything other than you coming, but were you wanting to contribute anything?". I have a very good relationship with my parents, so it wasn't a big deal to ask