Asking friend to make the cake

What about making a proposal box for her?

You could fill it with all of her favorite things.

This is presuming that she would absolutely do this for you.

Congratulations and 🍀‼️

It is not really an honor to ask someone to work for your wedding. Are you planning to pay her? Is she comfortable baking for such a big event and would it allow her to enjoy herself at your wedding? Also, if someone wants to honor you it should be their idea, not yours.

View Quoted Comment Wow, umm thanks for thinking you know everything about my day and my friend. Do most people offer to do something like this for peoples weddings??
We are having a pretty small and chill wedding so she wouldnt have to do much. She could make everything day/week before and it doesnt have to be all cake. She has helped me bake stuff for fundraising events at work and has always loved doing that and having people enjoy her yummy desserts and treats. That's why I think she would be honored if we asked her to do this for our wedding.

I'm not sure why they wouldn't be honored, especially if they aren't a business. You're essentially telling them their the bomb 💣 maybe make them a baked good with a note saying something along the lines of "you can't do it on your own"😂

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Yes, people often do offer. Many brides on here have friends and/or family members who have offered their various services for the wedding: designing invitations, baking the cake, dj'ing the reception, doing hair/makeup, photographing, etc. Even then we caution against using "friendors" because this often goes wrong. I've been on this site since early 2017 when I planned my wedding and have seen numerous stories of when using friendors went wrong. Regardless, though, there is a lot of work and pressure involved in baking a cake for a wedding versus a fundraising event that is why if she really wanted do this for you it should come from her. Often times it can be difficult for someone to say no when asked to do something because they may feel put on the spot or pressured to say yes when in reality they are not comfortable with the situation and don't want to say no for fear of hurting your feelings.

I’ve seen so many brides go with a family friend or someone close to them for a cake and... just be careful. I wouldn’t mix business with family/friends because your wedding is business.. the amount of money that goes into it you will want people to respect you like a high-paying client! That’s just our experience. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Thanks, I understand some risk involved but we are ok with simple costco sheet cakes as a back up if this didnt work out. Just thought it would be a fun way to include this friend who is not part of the wedding party. Who knows she may not even want to do it and thats ok too.

Etsy also has super cute wine bottle labels that you can customize and put on her favorite bottle of wine or champagne! As long as you’re okay with worst case scenario (which you totally seem to be), I think asking your friend is awesome! I would’ve asked a friend of mine if we weren’t doing a destination wedding and I know she would’ve been stoked! Good luck

I have to agree about Frendors. I had one for my officiant...or so I thought. Turns out he forgot and now with less than 7 weeks to go I have to find a new officiant.

You could always tell everyone she made it? Aha like a little placement card on the side. Or on your program or something.

You know your friend and your relationship better than anyone. If you feel that she would be honored to make your wedding cake than definitely ask her, as long as you're clear that she can decline if she feels it would be too much. My experience is that people who truly love us are happy to contribute using their special skills. As far as a fun way to ask, I haven't a clue! I'm not creative at all!! lol

I ask my baby sister to do my wedding cake she was so excited to do it! She get to do the real thing this weekend! If your friend is like her she might not ask can she do that becaise its a big day for you! So can tell her if she had rather not that's ok but that you would love for her to make your wedsing cake! Hope it all goes well for you!😘

View Quoted Comment Totally! It would be a simple ask without any expectations or pressure. :-)

I’d be worried to do a whole proposal box, you can’t say no to that. At least i couldn’t! I’ve been roped into doing things I didn’t want to do for other people’s weddings and showers because I didn’t feel like I could say no.
If I were you I would ask her for her advice, start talking about cakes and desserts and some of the stuff that she’s made that you’ve really loved then if she wants to she will offer to help. I think flat out asking is a lot of pressure, but of course you know her best, and if you are positive it’s something she’d want to do, then make a proposal box, just like for a bridesmaid. You can find tons of cute stuff of Etsy with maybe a dessert or baking theme.

View Quoted Comment That's amazing!!! Let me know how it turns out!!! How exciting!! And that's my plan just ask and ensure she knows no pressure if she feels it's too much to ask. Not doing any of this to overwhelm anyone that's for sure. Hope your special day is everything you dreamed of!!

I spent the day with her today going over everything! She starts making the flowers tomorrow! She asked me could she ask my 12 year old daughter to help her because she loves to do things like that! I agreed! Are they professionals no ma'am but I am more excited that they want to do this than a pro. doing it! Thank you I hope yours is as well!

Why is it an honor to have a guest work for you wedding? If she offered that be one thing but I think asking is just rude.

View Quoted Comment I have to agree with earis here and I would also caution against this. It is a lot of work and not really an honor.

I bake. She can’t make anything a week out. The Cale would be stale. She would have to take the day before your wedding off of work, or stay up all night the night before your wedding to make this happen.

View Quoted Comment I agree with Earias. With both the “Friendor” issues I’ve seen here too (a frequent common regret talked about here) and for the stress of your friend.

View Quoted Comment You could also do BJ’s. Their 🎂s are delicious.

The🤵‘s 🎂 was ordered from Wal-Mart.

It was enough to serve 96 and it was only $44.