Asking for money

Ummm....I'm not sure if asking for money on the invitation is considered proper ettiquette. Can you just have your mom, bridal party, etc. spread the word via mouth?? That way people will know that you're doing the wishing well thing without implying that you want cash on the invite.

I think it's supposed to be in bad taste to mention anything about gifts or money on the invitation. But I've seen lots of people include registry cards and stuff. One of my friends even had a little poem that basically said their new house was small and they didn't have room for lots of stuff and that a money tree was available.

I think proper etiquette is to spread the word thru your website and thru word of mouth.

I found these poems online:

Because at first we lived in sin

We've got the sheets and a rubbish bin

A gift from you would be swell

But we'd prefer a donation to our Wishing Well!!

or

More than just kisses so far we've shared,

Our home has been made with Love and Care,

Most things we need we've already got,

And in our home we can't fit a lot!

A wishing well we thought would be great,

(But only if you wish to participate),

A gift of money is placed in the well,

Then make a wish .... but shhh don't tell!

Once we've replaced the old with the new,

We can look back and say it was thanks to you!

And in return for your kindness, we're sure

That one day soon you will get what you wished for.

You don't. You should not ever ask for any kind of gift, money included. If you have a wedding website, you can list the link there, and you can include the registry information with any shower or engagement party invites. But, not in the invitations.

Our only problem is that we are not creating a registry because we are having a wishing well. We also aren't having any showers or engagement parties. I am not even having a bachelorette party.

I like the poems though and they seem like a good idea. Thank you.

When my friends got married they put "monetary gifts preferred" on their website, under the registry information. There are also lots of registries you can set up that give you cash, here are a few examples:

http://registrypalace.com/

http://www.ourwishingwell.com

http://www.reebles.com/

http://moneygifts.com/

or you can do a honeymoon registry, that will also give you the money people contribute:

http://www.thehoneymoon.com

http://www.honeymoonwishes.com/

http://www.honeyfund.com/

Hope these help.

Aida- you can create a virtual wishing well online as well and accept gifts there. This could be more convenient for people not able to attend, and many guests. You can register for cash, cars, trips, sheets, whatever you want. You may want to consider that as well.

www.ourwishingwell.com

I would not put it anywhere on the invitation itself. It's just faux pas and kinda rude. I like the "If interested, monetary gifts kindly preferred" somewhere on the website, not blaringly prominent but centered and discreet. Also spread the word through your mom, aunts, sisters, and close friends. I think you can also register for gift cards at Target...you gotta go there sometime, right?

We also have what we need for our house, but we set up a few small registries on our website for the traditionalists. You can also set up a honeymoon site like honeyfund or any of the others, or a wishing well. Most of them just give you cash, but it makes people feel like they're giving you a tangible gift. Don't put anything about gifts on your invites themselves, though.

You can also register at places like Bed, Bath & Beyond and Crate and Barrel. They let you return gifts for cash. That's what we did, so the things we don't like or already own, we'll just take back and keep the money.

What you could also do is print little cards with your website on it directing people to go there for additional information and put those in your invitations. Then have the info about the wishing well on your page (plus they can get directions and other info too!)

My cousins wedding is 2morrow and she asked for cash in her invite, i dont feel anything is wrong with it, atleast you wont end up with a whole bunch of unwanted crap and items to return. i wonder who came up with the idea that it's SO RUDE TO ASK FOR WHAT YOU REALLY WANT!!!

everyone is diff. some people are very up on etiquette and some are more laid back. i also love the poems that kari95630 posted, those are really cute.

That is what I wanted just money so we can get our house, but they said it is not nice to ask for money. Word of the mouth is the best way to go. My wedding planner had email me two poems that I had put on my website which is very cute which explains you have everything that you need. Let me know if you want me to email it to you. I had also register at stores. You can also turn back some of the items and get money for it. The good thing is you already have your house, and I am trying to work on getting a down payment for mine for next year. I figure I will have the wedding money plus tax money. And I am sure they will do some kind of deals on homes next year.

It's not rude to provide info on what you want - that's what a registry is for - traditional, honeymoon, virtual wishing well, etc. It IS rude, however, to imply that you are expecting gifts of ANY kind ON THE INVITE, because rather that it being a nice, friendly invitation to a special event in your life, it makes the guest feel like it's conditional - come to my wedding, but make sure you bring a gift. Having the information available on a website &/or through those close to you for those guests who go looking for it is more than acceptable. But to ASK FIRST is considered presumtuous and rude. Set up a virtual wishing well or something of the like, put the info on your website/let you close family know so they can spread the word, include a card containing your website URL in your invite, and let it go.

PS - If you still really like the poems, opt to put one your your registry page of your website.

I agree with most people before me. You should never ever ask for gifts. Your guests shouldn't feel that they are required to bring you a gift or they can't come to your wedding and that is what you would be implying if you put a request in your invitation. Yes it stinks that people might get you stuff you don't want but really you should be grateful that you are getting anything at all. Word of mouth, on your wedding website, or with your shower invites is as far as it should go for requesting gifts.

You never ask for gifts of any kind on an invitation, But if you have a website, under the registry page put: "Although your presence is more than enough, monetary gifts will be greatly appreciated!"

No, wait, that isn't worded right either. it should be "Although your presence is more than enough, for those wishing to give us a gift, monetary gifts are greatly appreciated" that way you not asking everyone for money, you are suggesting it to people who wish to give you a gift

Depending on where you are going on a honeymoon, you could do a honeymoon registry, and the company will send you a check. That's what I did. In my invitation, I have a pocket that held addition cards. One for the directions, rsvp, reception invite, and then one said "Honeymoon Wishes". I said, "Please help our honeywishes come true". Then we put the site for our wedding website and registry on the card. So far so good. That way your guests think they are purchasing you a "honeymoon gift", but you can take the money and do what you want.

Etiquette wise you should never include registry or gift information in your cards. As pp have said it gives the appearance of wanting a present rather than their presence. I would suggest that you make a small registry for the people like my mom and other older people who don't like giving money. Some people are old school and feel money is too impersonal and will want to give you a gift anyway.