Asking for money for wedding....

I don't know about whether it's appropriate or not but I don't think it hurts to ask. Just make sure you tell them in a way that they know you aren't going to be mad if they can't help you out monetarily.

We asked our family if they would be willing and able to "sponsor" for our wedding. Not sure if it's a hispanic thing but it's common in our family to ask for "sponsors" for weddings, quiceneras, sweet 16s or other big parties. The norm is $50 but we just asked for whatever they were able to help with. Before we even asked, my moms sisters were already saying they would help, and she has 7 sisters. Even extended family offered to help but we only asked our immediate family. So it's not inappropriate but make sure it's done in a proper way. Good luck!

Leti I think it is a hispanic thing cause my fmil asked me if we were going to have padrinos and i didnt know what that was and never ever heard of it before and she explained to me that you have sponsors for the cake, the dress, the dj, ect ect ect. I told her no though cause I didnt feel right asking for help unless people offer it. I also heard that in the hispanic way the grooms family pays for the wedding. Well that didnt happen my parents and I ended up paying for the wedding with help from friends also.

Thanks guys, I'm not hispanic but my FHs family is big and they alwys seem willing to help with partys and such.

Do you as for a specific amount of money or say something like are you able and willing to help contribute to our wedding?

If you are looking for bigger amounts I wouldn't go around asking everyone but just immediate family......... and be sure to let them know that this is their WEDDING GIFT to you-- its just early. Personally I think it would be tacky to ask other wedding guests for money for your wedding before it even happens. You could mention on your wedding website that you appreciate monetary gifts so they can help pay back anything you spend afterwards.

I'd start by asking the parents and just see what they say. If it is anyone beyond that, then that'd be a personal call based on your relationship w/that person! good luck!

I would suggest that you ask people to help you out with specific things like the cake or the photographer. My FIL's didn't help out their other son with his wedding but they are helping us because of the way we approached them. We asked for help with specific parts where his brother just expected them to give him money. We gave them a brochure of the photographer we wanted and told them the package we were looking for and asked if they would be able to cover it. They were more than willing to help because of they way we approached them.

I guess padrinos or sponsors are a hispanic thing, but to my knowledge both parents are suppose to help. well im SOL because i've lost both my parents due to illness' so im asking close friends and family if they can help out in anyway not denying any support and no hard feeling if they cannot. i am also having other fundraisers myself to raise the money and asking those close friends and family to donate any unwanted things sitting around the house for a garage sale. buy something worth raffling and raise more money. have a bake sale or brisket plate sale...good luck hope this helped you some.

Its so hard with this economy and my parents have been hit by it, so I feel bad even trying to have a wedding instead of helping them but I will definetly come up with a respectful way to ask the close inlaws.

Chula 83 the bake sale is a good idea but Iv'e never done one how do you go about it. I am a cake decorator as do you think I could bring that in somehow?

Bake sales are not hard....its fun when you add the kids along to help. you pick a great busy spot like at church by the doors after the morning service or walmart is always busy and set up your table and you can sale whole cakes, pies, cake pieces or cookies and be sure to ask for permission to do the sale otherwise it would be soliciting.

Oh, smart, I dont know why I didn't think of that I will def try that in the next few weekends. Is a church the best place or do they prefer to buy for like a good cause and not just a random persons wedding

Before you do any bake sale and set up at a public location like Wal-Mart, I advise checking with the city ordinance laws. Where I live, you cannot set up a fundraiser table like that unless you are a non-profit organization, like the girl scouts, cub scouts, a local school club, a church, etc. You would not qualify as a non-profit. Also, many times, if the bake sale isn't for a non-profit, the kitchens used to make the items must be inspected.

Thank you Rev. Carleen.

LovelyUnique. These times are hard aren't they but it is great to keep your head up. At times I worry Ill have to delay the wedding until 2011. But I am trying to go along as if it will be next year. I dont know your game plan but Im doing things like silk flowers, having no professionals help, I ordered sample invites and am going to mimic them for a lot less. Throw some partys with my girls as the wedding gets closer where well have drinks and fun making stuff for the wedding.

Good Luck to you and congrats! (your wedding is one day after my sons birthday

I think it depends on what your comfortable with. personally, id feel to weird asking for money. my fh and i are pretending were not getting any help,and were paying for it all ourselves. we also have like a $5000 maximum budget, and a small, simple wedding. it may not even cost as much as that. but, planning on not getting any help, well have money left over for a deposit for a house, or a honeymoon... lol

I don't think anyone should have a wedding that they can't totally afford, or anything else for that matter. And never should you expect someone else to pay for YOUR party, even on loan especially since, as you pointed out, they've all been hit with the economy...just my opinion but since you're asking.....

If they WANT to help that's great but they will OFFER it to you...they know you're getting married...asking them only puts them in a tough unfair spot

We're asking the wedding party to give $50 each and then we are getting "sponsors" for the food cake dj bouquet. In the hispanic tradition we do this. It makes things a lot easier and family and friends really do help out. We're getting like 2 for the cake and like 6 to make the food. I usually see people getting a few for the hall too. Good luck!

Nikki are you both of you working 2nd jobs? Before asking for handouts make sure you guys are doing everything possible for yourself. Like Laura has mentioned your family knows you are getting married and if they want to help they will offer.Good luck!

If you need help and you feel bad about asking for money (which can be a touchy subject) I say mention that money is tight and that you still what to have the wedding but are asking a few family members who have special talents (say your sister is very good on the phone and good at negotiating prices, so you get her to call your vendors for you) to see if they can help. If they choose to spend cash instead of sewing a dress that is their choice. There is no harm in asking for help but try to stay clear of the $$$

Thanks to the past view responders. Its a hard situation theres different ways you can look at it. In the old days it was a given that the brides parents would pay for the wedding, but in these times nothing is set in stone. I don't believe that you should never ask for help and always pay for parties. A wdding is a bit different and a much more joyous occassion where you want to give yourself and your family and friends a great night. Unfortuanely some of us can never had a wedding even with a samll budget with out waiting 10 years. Im not asking for pitty money or for them to buy me a new house. I do agree CelticChick831 that family members can be helpful in other ways my FMIL is a good cook .

Really were not asking for a handout we just need help with deposits and can pay back later in the year. (Obviously only from those who aren't in finacial problems)