Asking for help from Wedding party

In my opinion, you are 100% wrong to ask them to supply alcohol for your bar. If you can't afford it, that's on the couple hosting, not on the wedding party that already has to spend enough money to be in a wedding.

You are wrong to hold it against anyone who did not agree . Ordinarily, it would be considered extremely bad manners to ask guests to provide liquor. You simply do not serve what you cannot afford. Some of your friends have agreed to help you out. But that does not mean all should. Just accept that since this is something you should not have asked to begin with, you will be glad to get what you do, and no penalty or bad feeling for someone who follows conventional standards of behavior. Asking outright for gifts or money rarely goes well for all. Just hope they have the decency not to gossip or badmouth you on social media . I hope things get better for you.

We never did anything to make her feel bad if she didn’t want to help. All we did was ask and that was it.

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Yes, this exactly. To me, this is a small ask. If she couldn’t do it, that’s all she needed to say. To give you a lecture about your financial situation, which is none of her business, is just petty and rude. A real friend would not yell at you about this. If everyone else didn’t have an issue, that should really tell you she’s the one out of line. In fact, the only offensive thing here is her response. How dare she!

While I understand that it’s no one’s responsibility to pay your wedding but yourself, I wouldn’t begrudge the bride and groom asking for help with bringing a couple bottles of wine. Chances are your bridesmaids are the closest people in your life. It might not be ideal, but it’s special circumstances. She probably had plenty on her mind (either about the wedding or other stuff) and blew up at this.

I was also laid off from my job in the middle of wedding planning and understand how that can introduce a lot of uncertainty. However, our wedding budget was already within our savings at the time and we had a lot of unanticipated financial help from both families. We aim to keep an emergency fund and not spend money we don't have yet, though I know this can be difficult with all the bills to pay!

Circling back. It was bad etiquette to ask your wedding party for help with costs, no matter how small it may be. However, I know if I did so my girls would have helped out without hesitation. That is why I asked them to stand with me on my wedding day. I agree with some PPs that it sounds like something has been eating her for quite some time and this just set her off. 🙁