(Asking for FH) Thank You Note to Parents

I have no plans to write thank you notes to my parents. I am very close with my dad/step-mom and not at all close with my bio mom/step-dad. Each time I talk wedding with my dad I make a point of saying thank you for all he and my step-mom are doing for us and my bio mom is not contributing and is just being told to show up on the day with the dress she picked out. If your FH isn't close with his family I see no pint in a thank you note forcing feeling that are likely not there.

ETA spelling

So obviously I haven't written mine yet, but I think it would be really difficult to have a more heartfelt letter to my FH's mother than he feels. Can you go back and write letters together? So that you're writing your letter to FMIL/FFIL as one rather than separate letters? That might make it better for him

Please don't take this the wrong way or anything but I've never heard of writing thank you notes before the wedding unless it's for gifts that we're received (like from an engagement party, bridal shower or wedding registry gifts that arrived before the big day)... Writing a letter to your parents I think I've seen before on Pinterest but only as something nice/sweet and by no means traditional or required. If he isn't comfortable writing something like this, especially with his strained relationship with his parents, I wouldn't do it/force the issue.

Even for someone who has a good relationship with my parents, I don't know if I would do this because I'm not great at expressing myself in writing.

He should def write something for his groomsmen though but I'm not 100% sure if that needs to be done before the big day so long as it gets done quickly after.

ETA: And I'm sorry totally having problems with my app and had to move to desktop to fix *sigh* (creating duplicate comments that weren't there, not fixing edits etc.)

Are you presenting the letters publicly? If not, I think you can choose to skip them for his parents. Otherwise you can write something short and sweet about how you're excited to join their family and thanking them for their support

FH and I are both very independent from our families and are planning the wedding ourselves, so we are skipping parent gifts and letters.

We didn't do thank you notes to our parents. I am close with mine, DH is not with his. We both decided not to write any.

Thanks guys!

To clarify...I wrote a heartfelt note to MY parents and FH was planning to write a note to HIS parents to go with their gift. We got both sets of parents nice frames with a note saying "We owe you a wedding picture". We were planning on presenting the gifts at the rehearsal dinner along with the gifts for the wedding party, simply because I don't know when else we would do it.

I know it shouldn't matter, but both sets of parents are financially contributing to the wedding, though my parents have been notably more involved. i'm struggling because i want to do something nice for my parents because they are so involved (and because I actually like them). I would totally just skip it for his parents, but I feel like that would stir up drama. I don't know if it makes a difference, but FH's parents are kind of clueless (like I don't think they recognize that they aren't close with their own son and it breaks my heart)

I hear what you're saying. Since it is a public presentation, I'd honestly write something along the lines like "thank you for supporting us and standing by us on our special day. Hope we can be half as good parents as you have been. Love you and hope your proud" or something like that. Even if you're writing it through your teeth and the sentiments aren't necessarily 100% accurate, I think it'll be appreciated (or hope it will be)

I'm all for being 100% genuine. This kind of thing can't be forced. Not every parental relationship is rainbows and unicorns.

My advice is to keep it simple and give them the frame with a simple note that thanks them for their help with the wedding. Deliver your heartfelt letter to your parents privately and it won't call attention to any awkwardness.

I never considered writing a thank you note. Yes they made me who I am today but I don't see what that has to do with the wedding. I plan on getting them a nice gift for being supportive of my relationship with FH and stress of planning a wedding.