Asking Bridesmaids: Before or After Setting a Date?

Wait until you are no more than a year from your contracted date. If you decide on 2018 this year, wait until you sign on the dotted line.

General rule of thumb is 6-8 months before your date.

I'd wait -- what if you choose your bridal party and then choose a date that some of them can't make it too? Plus, there are many posters here who chose their bridal parties too early and have horror stories to tell about relationship changes.

Please wait! I asked too early and I now wish that I only had 2 or 3 bridesmaids.

I'd wait until you set your date. As a bridesmaid, I wouldn't be able to commit easily to both dates so I assume that at least some of your party won't be as flexible either.

Ask after, what if they have plans. It’s good for them to know the date upfront to avoid any awkward conversations down the line

Ask AFTER you get a date! This way, BMs can immediately let you know if something is going on during that date. Plus, if they don't have plans, they can make sure nothing is planned on that particular weekend.

My sister was asked to be a BM, but the bride couldn't decide on a date until a few months before. I guess the bride got a venue that quick because it was on a holiday weekend. The holiday weekend our family goes on an annual trip, of course. My sister is very shy and anxious, so she never told the bride because she felt like she had been locked in after being a BM for most of the engagement.

Basically, it caused problems. In the end, everything was okay and the wedding went smoothly, but not, there was a lot of stress.