Asking Bridesmaids Before fh Asks Groomsmen

One of my bridesmaids is married to one if fh groomsmen too! We told them at the same time, together.

If he hasn't decided fully on who else, but he knows for sure on the best man, you could still tell them together and the rest of your bridesmaids. I wouldn't tell your bridesmaids if you can't tell her yet though, because word might get out that you've chosen your bridal party and she might feel excluded even though that isn't the case at all.

I asked my bridesmaids before my FH asked his groomsmen. There isn’t anything wrong with it I don’t think. My MOH is my sister and his best man is his best friend. His best mans wife is a bridesmaid of mine but I’ve already talked to her and she’s knows she won’t be walking with her husband down the aisle and she’s totally okay with it!

Probably should wait for when he has his picked and also should wait until maybe 8 months before the wedding to ask anyone. Friendships change all the time.

View Quoted Comment This is wise

You’ve got well over a year. Take your time.

I asked my bridesmaids already and my FH hasn't yet and we have a married couple in there. He knows he is standing up but hasnt officially been asked yet.

I asked my BMs right away and FH has only asked his BM (his brother), not the other groomsmen. If they are married, I’d suggest asking them at the same time, but then he could wait for the rest if that’s what he wants to do.

We got engaged last August and I asked all my Bridesmaids before September. My fiance sill hasn't asked his Groomsmen (he still hasn't decided who all he wants) and we are getting married in about 5 months... It's totally fine whatever you do. Girls should be picked sooner because their dress takes a lot longer to come in then guys' rentals. What is most important is that you have chosen the ones who you couldn't imagine getting married without and not be pressured into anything you aren't 100% sure about.

Whatever you do will be fine. I asked the bridesmaids over a year in advance. His best man was married to a bridesmaid and we basically told him he’d be in the wedding but we weren’t officially asking groomsmen yet.

I asked my bridesmaids before he asked his groomsman

Unless you are planning a destination wedding and know that everyone could use more time to save up from travel and bridal party expenses, I would wait until July at the very earliest to start asking. And it doesn't really matter who asks who first. Just address them and the title you would like them to have and don't hint about your FH's choices.

We have three couples in our bridal party. My FH asked his friends to be groomsmen within a month of us being engaged. I still have two friends to ask.

Like PP said, 8 months is long enough before the wedding to ask, so many things can happen between now and then, I would no bother with adding more for you to do/worry about for now. I have only a MOH, which is also my SFIL - She knows she was chosen even before we got engaged so that was a no brainier, we just looked at each other were like "yup, it's on!". FH ha a hard time deciding the best man (between brother and best friend). He decided to go with his brother and asked him last December for our May wedding,

It's too early for either of you to be asking your wedding party. Wait until you're 6-8 months out from the wedding. Relationships and commitments can change in 15 months, and we've seen it on here a million times, people complaining about having asked too early and now they regret one or more of their choices.

I'd wait until the end of this year to ask anyone, and then by that time, maybe your FH will know who his picks are.

I don't think that matters, however, don't ask until late this year/early next.

I had already asked all my bridesmaids and picked out their dresses by the time my FH got around to finish asking the last of his three groomsmen. I guess it's a little different because he already knew who he wanted to ask, but I think it's fine to ask. Also, remember that the best man may not agree to be the best man.... (they usually do, but you don't want to assume). Our engagement is less than a year, though, so I wanted to make sure the girls had time to get their dresses and alterations.

I was too excited to ask my bridal party to wait for my FH to ask his groomsmen! I made boxes for them and everything. My FH didn't really care to do any of that. Most of them he either called or texted (men, ugh!). One of my bridesmaids is married to one of his groomsmen and I asked her before my FH asked him but her husband pretty much knew he was going to be apart of the wedding!

Ask them and ask the husband and wife together.

Others have said it but it bears repeating: you shouldn't ask this early. When I got engaged I told a few friends that they would be bridesmaids and I stopped talking to one of them. We had a falling out and she asked me point blank: "Am I still in your wedding?". It was so awkward to tell her no. We were barely on speaking terms and it wasn't fun.

That said, I think you should ask the husband and wife at the same time and if your BM's know each other, you shouldn't ask some before others. you wouldn't want one of them to feel as though they were b-listed or an afterthought just to make your desired party size.

Do what you feel is best! We will be having three and three in our wedding. I asked my bridesmaids through mail (they live in other states) and they knew before any groomsmen. The best man got a phone call per my FH saying really he only needs a text but I talked him into calling. Other groomsmen he is trying to ask in person.. but who knows when 🙄

I asked my BMs first, as my fiance was still deciding. It didn't matter to us who asked in what order.