Asking Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

We asked ours around 9 months prior to our original wedding date (now postponed). I wouldn't recommend asking too soon - relationships can, and do, change. I would ask somewhere between 8-10 months before the wedding.

The general rule of thumb is 8-12 months before the wedding. No matter how much you think NOTHING will change with your relationships, you'd be shocked to read how often it does in these forums. (Doesn't matter if you're talking about your sister, life-long BFF, favorite cousin -- spend 5 minutes reading old posts about "firing" BMs or being disappointed by MOHs and you'll realize how much potential drama can be avoided just by waiting a little bit.) Especially now with the pandemic changing people's plans every two minutes, it's best to take your time. Good luck!

I was only engaged for a year so I pretty much asked immediately

I was also engaged for a year, and I only had 2 MOH's, no bridesmaids, so they already knew they would be in my wedding. But we didn't book anything until 5 months before actually! And I officially asked - with a little proposal box and everything - maybe a month after everything was booked. So 4 months before? A little late, but like I said, I only had 2 girls and they already knew lol

View Quoted Comment I agree with this 110% - definitely think it out for a while, take your time, and be confident in your decisions!

View Quoted Comment This. We asked about 10-11 months out.

Agree with others that no more than a year out from your wedding date.

We asked a year in advance. I know the general rule is something like 8 to 9 months but we figured with the way everything is right now it might be best to ask sooner. I would not recommend asking and earlier than a year in advance. If you scroll through some of the posts on here you will see the problems that can happen when asking people way to early.

We got engaged 11 months prior to our wedding. I asked my girls at approximately 9 months out. I wouldn't recommend asking too soon because relationships can definitely change. I can tell you I had three bridesmaids drop out/I removed. The first one I removed because the night before we were all scheduled to go dress shopping she wasn't even sure she would ever be able to get a dress. She also didn't know if she could afford to travel to the wedding and it was only 30 minutes from where she lived. I knew she would be difficult, but I didn't realize just how difficult. The second one was originally my maid of honor, but she dropped out because she was stressed out. I have no clue why because she did literally nothing. I found out days later she was badmouthing my husband and I. We had been friends for over ten years. I confronted her about badmouthing us and she tried lying until I asked her if my mom was a liar which made her breakdown and tell me the truth. The third was my co-worker, but I lost my job so she didn't feel comfortable anymore.

I agree with everyone's advice about the timing. And not just because of potential relationship changing, but also because it can lead to disappointment if your expectations of their excitement levels and ongoing participation are too high. Countless stories here of brides feeling hurt that no one is responding to group texts, attending meet & greets, or interested in choosing centerpieces (for example) 2 years in advance.

Our wedding is May 2021. We had planned to tell our bridal party at our March 28 engagement party that cancelled from covid. We had the party this past Saturday and we’re a little under 10 months away! They all new ahead of time so it wasn’t a shock!

We were only engaged for 6 months, so it was probably like 5 months ahead that I talked to them about it.

I asked my bridesmaids 1 year in advance of my wedding date! I knew exactly who would be my bridesmaids and that it wouldn't change, and 1 year gave them plenty of time to save and plan!

My husband waited another few months to ask his groomsmen (even though he knew who he wanted), which stressed me out for no reason! He's been a groomsman almost 10 times and his friends were just much more casual about it all.

We asked them over a year in advance at the very end of May/beginning of June. Our wedding is next October. We have all of our vendors booked, and I already have my dress. It didn’t make sense for us to hold off asking them when we started planning as soon as Covid let us! Getting the cards and whatnot to ask them was actually one of the only things we were able to do before the stay at home order relaxed. It also allowed us to share some happy stuff with those close to us during that time and surprise them with stuff in the mail!
Our bridal party is a total of eight people, all of whom are either family or have been in our lives for a very long time. We also don’t expect them to do anything wedding related except show up wearing the right stuff. lol (My MOH has already gone above and beyond by taking off work to go dress shopping which was so thoughtful but absolutely not necessary.)

I asked mine like the day after we got engaged. One ended up being deployed so she couldn't be there, but one was my best friend from college, one my sister in law, and one who has been my best friend since we were 3. (So nearly 30 years). My older brother was my man of honor. I couldn't imagine my day without them standing beside me. And my brother was so solemn (he's a huge goofball) when he held my bouquet for me 😁

We asked exactly a year in advance. We knew for quite sometime who we wanted in the wedding but my fiancé couldn’t decide who deserved to be best man. Our wedding party consist of mostly family and a lot of them were getting antsy since we hadn’t asked anyone yet. My Fiancé’s brother even told his mom he was surprised he hadn’t been asked to be in the wedding. We probably should have asked sooner, but I was also trying to put together proposal boxes and we were finishing college and moving.

I asked mine literally days after I got engaged, that's just not something I wanted to wait on especially since our engagement is only for a year. FH asked his friends immediately as well, we never thought to wait to ask anyone to celebrate with us. If relationships change then so be it, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, but I've been through everything with my 2 MOH's so I know no matter what they'd be there.