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Kiki
Dedicated September 2020

Asking a friend to be your officiant / celebrant

Kiki, on January 19, 2019 at 12:11 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 14
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I really want to have one of my friends be the officiant for our wedding but I don't really know how to ask. Any suggestions?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Elisha, on January 20, 2019 at 12:34 AM
  • Amy
    Devoted October 2019
    Amy ·
    • Flag
    Sit down for lunch together and when they ask about wedding planning talk about it and ease your way to you not having an officiant yet. Mention how you would be honored by them performing it and that you think they’d be great at it. Bring up why you thought of them to officiate your wedding (personal stories etc). Answer any questions they may have, and If you can see theyre apprehensive, tell them they don’t have to decide right away. Good luck!
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  • Porterpoppin
    VIP March 2019
    Porterpoppin ·
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    This is what I’d do too
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  • J
    Devoted April 2020
    J ·
    • Flag
    Lol. We’re asking my FFIL and I wrote a poem and we’re gonna go out to dinner with him and officially ask and then give him the poem too.
    • Reply
  • Melissa
    VIP September 2019
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    We did that and at Christmas we handed out save the dates to family and asked my cousin if she would do it. Didn’t make a huge deal out of it or anything, just asked her.
    • Reply
  • Vanessa
    Expert September 2019
    Vanessa ·
    • Flag
    We asked my FH grandpa with a beautiful card. He loved it.
    • Reply
  • M
    0000
    Mim ·
    • Flag
    I'm going to guess that this friend isn't a professional (minister, rabbi, priest, judge, or other ordained person who performs weddings as a career). If this person is a professional skip to the bottom.

    First find out what is legal in the jurisdiction you are going to be married. The laws vary greatly, even within a particular state. Then decide if you are willing to risk have a non professional screw something up and have your ceremony not actually be legal. Also consider how much work you want to out into planning the ceremony. A non professional won't have a good starting point for planning so the work will fall on your shoulders.

    If you continue to want to ask this person, then just ask. Call them up, or ask in person, "hey we were wondering if you would be willing to officiate our wedding".
    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated May 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I’ve been friends with my officiant for 15 years and he fancies himself my second dad (it’s mutual!). We went out to lunch and I just sort of came out and asked him. He had been asking questions about the wedding, and while I didn’t mention anything about not having an officiant yet, I sort of just led into it by saying that we’ve been friends for so long and our friendship has always held a special place for us, and then straight up asked him to officiate. He started crying, it was so sweet!

    Make sure that the friend youre asking diesnt have stage fright issues though! And be considerate of what they will say - I’ve been to weddings where a friend officiated and the whole ceremony felt like an inside joke that no one was let in on, so it was awkward for the majority of guests. Asking friends is great, just be cognizant of the fact that all your guests are there to celebrate with you, so you may want to help your officiant craft their script so they can be inclusive.
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    Devoted October 2019
    Lauren ·
    • Flag
    My fiancee said to his best friend “me and lauren want you to officiate our wedding” and he was overjoyed.
    • Reply
  • Kaleka
    Devoted September 2019
    Kaleka ·
    • Flag
    I would say invite them to lunch or brunch and give them a random gift or card asking them. My FH ask my FFIL to be our officiant after proposing to me. He presented him with an envelope containg all the paperwork he needed to certify him as a officiant. It was super sweet and unexpected!
    • Reply
  • Kiki
    Dedicated September 2020
    Kiki ·
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    I looked up the laws for Lehigh County Pennsylvania and it looks super convoluted to have a non-professional friend do it.

    Anyone else in the area do it before? Some reviews would be awesome! Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted December 2018
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    FH called him to tell him we got engaged and said “so you know you’re marrying us, right?!”
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Savvy May 2019
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    We're having friend do ours. I'm terrible at subtly and wooing, so I just said, "We want and would love you to marry us."

    Easy peasy!

    • Reply
  • Lizzy
    Super October 2019
    Lizzy ·
    • Flag
    We are having two friends marry us and my FH asked them when they were having band practice
    • Reply
  • Elisha
    Savvy August 2019
    Elisha ·
    • Flag
    Just come out and ask while letting them know it would mean a lot to you. That’s how my fiancée asked one of his closest friends to be our officiant
    • Reply

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