Asking a "Christian minister" to do a secular ceremony - yea or nay?

Non-denominational is still Christian, just those who don't have a particular branch such as methodists, baptists, etc.

I feel like you will mostly just have to ask or sit down with someone and map out what you want.

We were able to find a justice of the peace to do our non-religious ceremony. I'd suggest keep looking. I know it can be frustrating. It took us a while to find the right non-religious person, but we did find someone. Have you used the ww vendor search, I believe there is a way to else search for atheist or agnostic officiants. If you really can't find someone, try emailing the non-denominational or spiritual person and asking if they would be able to do a secular ceremony. It shouldn't hurt to ask.

A retired judge?

You can always ask. The worst they'll say is no. Then just ask if they have any recommendations for an officiant who will.

Howdy. I feel your pain, honestly.

Keep in mind that most of us need to be ordained (unless we are judges....) to do weddings, so many people do identify themselves that way on their websites and listings.

I think your best bet is to call a couple of people, be totally up front about what you want and expect, and ask to see your specific script before the ceremony. We send our scripts as a matter of course; I might comment on, oh, I don't know, a pack of Harleys or some other innocent spontaneous happening, but if a couple wants a non religious ceremony, that is what they will get.

Do you have a Unitarian Universalist group near you? That might be a great place to find a person.

As a general rule, anyone licensed as a pastor of a church will not officiate a non-religious/secular ceremony. Your best bet would be to hire either an active or retired judge.

We are having a minister perform a secular ceremony. The ceremony has absolutely no mention of the bible or anything to do with Christianity. He had absolutely no issue with this and performs many secular ceremonies. I'm in Texas.

If you go with a religious officiant, I would be super clear with them about what you want. We are both atheists but went with a rabbi to preserve some of the cultural traditions that are important to DH. She promised us the ceremony would be humanist, and we went over everything she would be including, but she ended up straying pretty far from what we expected at the actual ceremony. It was way longer and way more religious than what we expected. I think our experience is probably not the norm, but in retrospect I wish I had been more firm with what we were comfortable with and if she didn't want to do it, we would have kept looking.

I have a copy of the ceremony and will bring a printed copy with me on the day of, just in case.

I have a minister performing a secular ceremony. She only performs weddings. Depending on the licensure many wedding officiants are ministers, even if they're not affiliated with churches. I think you will need to talk with your potential officiants to gauge their openness to a secular ceremony and make sure they will use language you are comfortable with.

I would check out judges who might do something on the side? Or meet with someone who you like and ask? I feel like there has to be someone out there who can give you the ceremony you want, they might just be tailoring their websites to what they perceive the general area to want?

Kit, that's not true.

Always, always, always ask for a copy of the ceremony and make it clear that there will be no 'straying' from what you agree on.

Always, always, always ask for a copy of the ceremony and make it clear that there will be no 'straying' from what you agree on.

We had a retired Pastor officiate our secular ceremony. He had a 4 different templates we chose from. 1 was "Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ", 2 was "Jesus", 3 was "God", and 4 had no religious mention whatsoever. We chose 4 and we altered a few things (our own vows, we changed the wording of my father "giving" me to H). He did go off script once, to ask our guests to send a blessing to well-wish to our rings, and he blessed them as well, he definitely thanked the Lord and ended with "Amen." So make sure you have EVERYTHING written out and agreed to beforehand. Also, at the rehearsal, he told our DOC he intended to wear his robes, she told him a suit would be just fine.

Thanks, all! You've given me some hope, and I SO appreciate it. I've got a lot of calls to make!

@Celia - I had no idea that to be licensed, officiants had to be ordained! That definitely puts a different spin on the language people are using to identify themselves.

Our officiant is "spiritual" but we're able to avoid religion easily. You can filter on the WW vendor list for athiest, secular, agnostic, etc. Narrow it down to a few you like the description of, and shoot them an email. They'll tell you whether or not they're willing to officiate a secular ceremony.

I know a Lutheran minister in Houston who will do strictly secular ceremonies. In fact, she won't do ceremonies for couples who have any connection with a church, because she wants such people to work with their own churches. I'm thinking she might be a bit far from you, though:

http://luragroen.blogspot.com/p/weddings.html