Ask a bridesmaid to step down

If all the bridal party events have happened, does it really matter if she's a bridesmaid? The majority of the hard work is over. Give her a hard deadline to get her dress. If she misses it, then she can be a guest if she still chooses to attend.

I'm right there with you but my wedding is farther out. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if she bails on being your bridesmaid, especially since she hasn't gotten her dress.

Is there still enough time for her to get a dress?

Since all the bridal party events have passed and she didn’t attend, she doesn’t have a dress and doesn’t communicate with you I wouldn’t even call anymore. She made her decision to exit out without notifying you. They’ll be excuses later from her. I would just continue with my life if she shows up then you can speak with her. She may still attend you wedding without the dress.

It definitely sucks she hasn't been involved as much as you hoped but ultimately all she has to do for you is show up for the wedding in her bridesmaids attire. So remind her the importance of getting her dress asap as you want her to be a part of your day.

I wouldn’t say the events are a priority but if she doesn’t have a dress & you are two months out that’s a problem. Is there still time for her to order? It sounds like she’s already made a decision. Have you tried talking to her again abt the dress?

Thanks girls for your advice. I really think that her presence as a bridesmaid on my wedding day will be more than a burden than a relief. The bachelorette is in 2 weeks and she hasn't changed her mind. We havent spoken for more than a month now, and she hasn't reached neither of our common best friends neither.

@ Julie: I have asked my girls to pick a dress they liked as long as it was emerald green, and i asked 10 months ago.

@Jaycie: so I shouldnt expect her to attend anything and be there for me? What about the other bridesmaids, it doenst look fair at all!

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No, you shouldn't expect your bridesmaids to attend events. Her only requirement is to get the dress and stand by you at the wedding.

Thanks @FutureMrsJackson. Should I at least expect her to be there as a friend? Because we haven't spoken much this past year.

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Honestly, that's more up to you. My MOH is super busy and doesn't text back within the hour but I know she's still there for me when I need it.

You definitely need to give her a deadline for the dress. I would say within the next 2 weeks, because what if there are alterations involved. She doesn't have any requirements other than attending your wedding in the correct dress. Hopefully after the wedding your friendship will improve. I have found that some BMs just really don't put in effort or care about weddings (whether it stems from jealously, weddings not being her thing, whatever).

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That's the difference between your MOH and my bridesmaids. Mine stresses me out because I DONT KNOW if she's there for me when I need it.

As much as I do NOT want to lose a friend as a souvenir at my wedding, I expect at LEAST for my friend to be there for me. And she's not. So I will meet her and ask her to step down, and I will leave her the choice to attend the wedding or not.

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Yes there is enough time if she puts the time to it. She's very picky herself. She thinks nothing ever fits her - it's quite annoying.

Once we went shopping, and she was looking at herself on the mirror saying the dress was too small on her. The seamstress put her entire hand in her back and said "I think you have enough space". LOL

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You are right. some BMs really dont give a damn because they say weddings aren't their thing, but that's just a lame excuse. I was BM 4 times and I have always been involved during the planning and during the entire day, and at the time wedding wasn't my thing. I just wanted my bride friend to be relaxed and enjoying her important day.

She doesn't have to do anything besides show up in her dress so let her know that if she doesn't get her dress by XX date, she'll be attending as a guest.

Attending events isn't mandatory and asking her to host an event honoring you isn't what you should've done, either.

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So who should be the one hosting the bachelorette?

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For engagement, bridal shower, or bachelorette parties, it's whoever wants to and OFFERS to throw you a party, whether it's your MOH, bridesmaids, family, coworkers, etc. You shouldn't be asking people to throw you any of those. If no one offers, you don't get one.