Arranged Marriages

My honest opinion, in general, I think they are fantastic. Statistics show that the divorce rate is low and the both families get along well and have similar views on marriage and how to raise children.

I personally wouldn’t be happy with my parents’ choice in a husband for me bc they’ve already revealed who their choice was for me if we came from that type of culture. My stomach felt sick, lol. It was the son of one of my mom’s closest friends. He isn’t bad looking but I don’t mesh well with his personality.

Oh I wouldn't want my parents choosing anything for me never mind a husband.
Some people like arranged marriage but I think the key is if someone can refuse or not. Force is not okay.
Two of my friends are of cultures of arrangements and they are always very skeptical of it because not everyone has modern parents who let the pair refuse, but one of them is interested in it. She thinks it would easier. The other is like myself where your parents picking anything makes you nervous 🤣

I am close with some Orthodox Jews in NY, and they tell me that in their community while the parents may make introductions, either party is free to say no.

View Quoted Comment I also read that many arranged marriage last a lifetime.

View Quoted Comment I would be okay if my mom chose my partner but not my dad. My mom is more in tune with what I like.

View Quoted Comment I don't agree with forced arranged marriages. I think you should have a choice in who you love.

View Quoted Comment I feel like all parents try to make introductions, it's just what they do 😄

I would not be ok with it. But if both the bride and groom are ok with it then that is up to them.

View Quoted Comment Cause a lot of times I. The culture the can’t get a divorce.

View Quoted Comment I believe that in some cultures it doesn't matter if the bride and groom agree with the arrangement.

View Quoted Comment I didn't read that. However, if that is the case then that could explain the high marriage success rate.

Absolutely not, but that’s probably because of the way I was raised and the culture I come from. I went out with a guy that my family thought was “perfect on paper,” but we just had no chemistry. Sure, he had a great job, we had common interests and passions, we had similar world views and life philosophies, but there was nothing there. My mom was definitely more upset we stopped seeing each other than either of us were. Also, my mom has questionable taste in men 🤷‍♀️.

Well my first husband said during our premarital counseling he would have been ok with it. I have no recollection now how that came up, but it totally should have been a red flag. So no, I definitely would not have. Also I have no faith my family would pick someone actually good for me.

Wouldn't let them arrange a marriage. Well unless they were super wealthy with compatible sense of humor.

My parents were not a match made in heaven nor ever did they get divorced. I don't think they would have good judgement when it comes to making a happy couple.

I've always been curious about arranged marriages but I don't know if I'd get one. I definitely wouldn't trust my mom's choices. Maybe when she (and I) were younger but not now

In general, I'm against it. I realize that in some cultures they have an arranged marriage which is more akin to parents matchmaking. And that's fine. Marriages beginning with family approval and connection are often more successful. But in my mind, these are not really that different than friends introducing and signing off on friends... And we don't call those arranged marriages.

So when I hear arranged marriage, I think of cultures that practice forced arranged marriages - where if you leave the partner you're shunned, go through a lot of shame/guilt, or killed because of family honor. For some additional statistics and info: https://brandongaille.com/25-shocking-arranged-marriages-statistics/ The stuff that stuck out to me are poisoning oneself over divorce, higher std/hiv counts, and others I feel weird citing on a wedding forum.

India, where 90% of marriages are arranges still suffer from honor killings... For additional info there: https://www.meforum.org/3287/hindu-muslim-honor-killings

View Quoted Comment

I completely understand why you wouldn't be okay with your family choosing your partner.

View Quoted Comment

Why should that have been a red flag?

View Quoted Comment

Were your parent's marriage arranged?