Argument regarding vaccination

You should probably do premarital counseling if you have such opposing viewpoints.


If you have children, is he going to block them from getting vaccinated? That would probably mean they can't attend school and would have to be homeschooled.
Is his employer going to require him to get vaccinated as a condition of employment? If so, is he going to quit? Leaving you to be the breadwinner until he finds new employment?
Did he know before booking the cruise there was a vaccine requirement? Is so, why on earth would he book it, and why would you want to marry someone so stupidly spiteful?
You're not going to get a conspiracy theorist to change his mind. You need to decide if you're compatible, because this is going to bleed into other aspects of your life. Air travel. Him possibly being on a ventilator due to getting covid. Being allowed to attend social events such as weddings, reunions, funerals.
Regardless of how one feels about the vaccine, it's becoming a standard part of life. If he's not willing to adapt with the times, that's going to affect you, too

I agree with everything except the "stupidly spiteful" bit. While the proof of vaccine is pretty much mandated everywhere (at least in my state), there are real fears out there, especially for something just recently approved by FDA (for Pfizer only). My husband was very reluctant and got the vaccine (Moderna) to keep his job and developed a DVT blood clot right after (doctor admits it's most likely from vaccine) and now has to be on meds for life. Sure it's better than dying from Covid but he's very bitter about it since he was reluctant in the first place.


Unfortunately, bottom line is if your FH is not vaccinated, you'll pretty much be left out of almost everything as a couple. Is that something you are willing to compromise (restaurants, vacations, jobs, events/concerts, gatherings, etc.)?

View Quoted Comment I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I would definitely urge you to seek a second opinion on the blood thinners! Unless he has a genetic condition which causes his body to form clots, there is no reason for him to be on blood thinners for life! He should be on them for a few months, then re-evaluated to ensure the blood clot has resolved. At that point, he should be taken off the medication. Blood thinning medication carries with it the potential for very serious side effects; some of which could cause death! He should certainly not be on them for life if it was triggered by a known event, and not a genetic predisposition!

I agree that seeking counseling might really benefit the two of you. Honestly, I would give the topic a break for a little bit before trying to discuss it again. I understand people being hesitant and not wanting to get it. Did he know the vaccine was required before you all booked it? If not, maybe you can talk with the cruise line and they can cancel the cruise and you guys can find some sort of compromised honeymoon instead.

I didn't really need to convince my fiancé to get the vaccine. As soon as he was eligible I asked him to sign up and he did. For us its also a little bit of a different situation as I work in health care dealing with COVID patients daily.

This is a tough one but the solution seems simple to me. Instead of trying to convince him, I would simply cancel the cruise and go somewhere that doesn’t require vaccines. It’s a dumb argument that can be easily solved. Don’t waste your energy on this one.

…it’s not a dumb argument, rather it’s futile.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. My fiancé had similar views of the vaccine, as did his family. Ultimately he has changed his mind, but only because we lost his dad to COVID 3 weeks ago. I chose to be vaccinated, but understand others views not to as well. I say cancel the cruise and find an alternative. We are going to Hawaii which requires either a vaccine or a negative test, so you have both options.

View Quoted Comment Just to jump on this vote for second opinion. I have a clotting disorder that makes me more susceptible to developing DVTs. Even when I developed two of them by being on hormonal birth control, my hematologist only had me on blood thinners for 6 months. Once the clots dissolved, he decided to take me off since my potential for developing more was low (non-smoker, went off birth control, etc). Unless he has another factor that would make him more susceptible, I’d highly recommend getting a second opinion about continuing the blood thinners once his DVT is gone.

My FH is similar to yours, he is hesitant to get the vaccine for many reasons, one being that I had Covid, we lived together and sort of separated, but still were around each other and he never got. He was also exposed at work and never got it, so he is worried about getting vaccinated and getting some other kind of sickness. I am vaccinated but I respect his wishes to not be vaccinated, and he isn't one to hide it either and fully understands if people aren't comfortable around him because of it. While some people are recommending therapy, I don't really think this is necessary if you are both able to come to a place of understanding with each other. I know a lot of people thought things were going to turn around by now, but in some cases they haven't, so maybe he thought that going on the cruise would be okay. If you can come from a place of understanding and discuss it with him calmly and plan something else, that is what I would do. My FH and I put our dream honeymoon on hold and picked somewhere else because I refused to get on a cruise ship due to Covid, I didn't feel comfortable with it yet. But we will still go on that vacation in our lifetimes, just when we feel it's better to do so!

View Quoted Comment I agree with this poster. Of course there is always a small chance he could change his mind, but if he hasn't by now then he probably never will. The vaccines have been fully approved for over a month now and we have data from studies going back a year and a half. The number of cases of blood clots in men is in the single digits.


My friend just broke up with her partner of five years because she is immunocompromised and he still refused to get the vaccine. You either need to cut your losses on the honeymoon (and very possibly all vacations for the rest of your lives) or to end this relationship.

Ah, another COVID post. I understand your frustrations, but try looking through the glass from his viewpoint. Vaccines are a personal choice that shouldn't be forced upon someone unless necessary (like polio, smallpox, etc). In this case, a honeymoon doesn't have the backing for it. I'd highly suggest counseling together for this and future vaccine topics, such as future children if that's something yall want down the road. As someone else suggested, cancel the honeymoon and pick something else. Pick your battles my dear.

View Quoted Comment For everybody that is saying get counseling, we almost never argue, and when we do it’s almost a misunderstanding on one of our parts. (Also, it’s silly fighting since we never fight. ‘I’m going to do the dishes…but why, it’s MY turn’). Most our arguments end in laughter and not slamming doors (which is good because we have soft close doors, so it’s impossible TO slam the door) Counseling would be a waste of time and money.


Everybody saying cancel the honeymoon, we could do that, but that would be depressing, especially because this cruise was HIS idea.!! Every idea I mentioned, he countered with ‘cruise around South America’. So I know he’s really excited about it.
I told him last night I was going to take another friend of his, also named Greg, and this morning he told me he would get the shot, though it probably won’t be until closer to the time we get married. Our cruise isn’t until December, so I’m okay with that. (And no, of course I would never ever go on the cruise without him, but he has so many friends named Greg -in addition to himself - it’s like saying John Doe)
I don’t care when he gets the shot(s), just as long as we can still do the honeymoon HE wanted to do!

Hopping on to add that I would encourage him to share his concerns with medical professionals. They’re trained to share science-based information rather than conspiracy theories.

View Quoted Comment Agree 💯 percent!

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If your idea of a solution is to say you're going to take his friends on your honeymoon instead of actually working out some sort of compromise, then counseling doesn't sound like it would be a waste of money. You could postpone your honeymoon and see if they open cruises up to allow unvaccinated people in the future, or you could both be adults and decide since that won't work right now you can choose a different honeymoon together.

View Quoted Comment I would ask him to get the shot sooner rather than wait. What happens if he is unable to make his first appointment for some reason? Also, it takes about a week or more as I recall to be at full immunity” status. Not to mention the two weeks in between shots. Your looking at a month total from beginning to end.

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We both know that neither of us would take anybody else on the cruise. We are completely committed to each other. If that happened, I know I would be miserable and would miss him terribly and I'm pretty sure he would be the same.

If he didn't want to get vaccinated, then we would cancel it and we would choose something else to do TOGETHER. We spoke on Sunday morning and got everything cleared up. He said he would get vaccinated, and I told him it was okay if he didn't...I just wanted to know in time to get our money back. We have until August of next year to decide. And yes, we are choosing where to go together (whether it's here or somewhere else).