Kristina
Beginner October 2022

Are you having a simple wedding or something far more extravagant? please explain.

Kristina, on September 19, 2021 at 9:16 PM Posted in Style and Décor 1 17
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This will be my second time getting married. I would like to keep it simple, simply due to cost, however there are things I did not get to do at my first wedding, I would like to do with this wedding. I got married in court with my ex husband and four months later we had a reception. This time, the man I am getting married to will be his first time getting married, so I have kind of stepped back and want him to have the wedding he wants. Problem is he is the worst procrastinator when it comes to planning things, and in my past experience with planning a wedding, there is very little room for putting things off last minute.

I digress, we would like our focus more on food and drink, than wedding directions, and pointless money absorbing extras a lot of people have at their ceremonies and receptions. Not doing flowers other than my bouquet and the wedding party. are wedding favors really a must? With todays technologies, everyone has a camera on their phone and I am sure will post on social media, so there will be plenty of wonderful photos for memories of this event. I am not spending a large amount of money on a dress I may only wear once, did that still have the dress, do not want to re uses it, however not sure what to do with it just yet, I have some ideas, but still thinking about it.

I would like to gather ideas of what everyone is doing for their wedding Smiley smile I am always up for ideas, thoughts and directions to DIY. Smiley smile


17 Comments

Latest activity by Dylan&Hana, on October 2, 2021 at 6:12 PM
  • Melissa
    Dedicated March 2022
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    We are doing a small intimate wedding. Just like you. Only flowers will be my bouquet and my MOH's. We did buy some center pieces that we designed from hobby lobby (275 bucks for 7 tables of decoration), but the one thing we won't be passing on is a photographer. They capture the getting ready, the family photos, and are much better quality for you to look back on for years to come!
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    I would caution against relying on guests for pictures. They may miss the ones you want most, or the lighting or angle may be bad.

    Most people regret not spending money on a photographer.

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    This is second marriage for each of us too. We started with decently big plans and 70 guests. But we recently canceled all plans for a simple elopement in Hawaii with just the 2 of us instead.
    • Reply
  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
    • Flag
    This is a second marriage for myself and my now husband’s first. We are planning a more intimate wedding celebration since we got married during COVID last year, but this is what we would each prefer. It is special to us so we are not looking at cutting corners in regards to hosting a nice event for our guests and ourselves. However given the nature of it being a more intimate wedding we found that there were services that weren’t necessary such as a DJ. We didn’t want much dancing but rather just have a nice dinner party. We opted for things that were still true to our styles such as more greenery than actual blooms for florals and that saved us $ as well. I would suggest prioritizing what’s most important to you (I.e. food, etc) as you’ve already started to do. As for dresses, there are a lot of affordable options such as previously bought or worn wedding dresses, off the rack dresses, etc. I bought my wedding dress from someone who previously bought it & changed their mind.


    The only thing I would like to echo on is the photography. I would personally not cut corners there.
    • Reply
  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K ·
    • Flag

    Second marriage for myself, third for my husband. It was kind of weird because my first husband and I eloped and then we renewed vows at 7 years in Vegas (divorced after 13 years). My husband had a big first wedding and then eloped the second time. So we had lots of experiences to go from when designing our day Smiley xd

    We decided to focus on what was important to us which was food and family. We had a restaurant wedding which cut down completely on décor. We didn't decorate at all either for the ceremony at our church or at the restaurant. And we got wonderful food by doing a restaurant wedding. We had about 30ish guests total so nothing crazy.

    We did hire a photographer and I suggest you do so even if it's for a small window of time (we had ours for the ceremony and after pictures only). While the photos my guests took are lovely, the quality was lacking for sure.

    • Reply
  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
    • Flag

    Don't cut corners on photo. You will be disappointed. Guests are not thinking about taking pictures of you. They don't have good lighting and won't be concerned about the photos looking nice. If nothing else, peruse social media for an amateur photographer who wants to shoot a wedding. They are out there. They probably won't be top of the line photos, but they will be better than anything your guests will get.

    Favors are not required. They are almost always a waste of money, even when they are good favors and couples want to spend money on them. I think guests often just forget them at the end of the night - or they don't want to leave with more in their hands than what they arrived with. Skip them.

    Thrift stores and second-hand sites for the dress. Department stores can sometimes have nice gowns for this purpose, too. Also throwing it out there - Rent the Runway. They can be kind of limited on colors, but you might find something you love and then you just send it back when you're done.

    • Reply
  • Cece
    Super November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    This is both my fiancé and my’s first (and hopefully only!) wedding. Our wedding will be pretty non-traditional. Some aspects of the wedding are quite simple, while others are extravagant. We just sat down and decided together what aspects were most important to us, and went all out on those items. The items that were less important to us, we are being more modest with.
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    "This time, the man I am getting married to will be his first time getting married, so I have kind of stepped back and want him to have the wedding he wants. Problem is he is the worst procrastinator when it comes to planning things,"

    It sounds like you prefer a simpler wedding than your future spouse (FS). I would make sure to have good discussions about all of this before planning and to make sure planning and executing (and paying for!) the wedding is a team effort. If FS doesn't want to put in the work of planning a more elaborate wedding, then just continue with your plans for a simple wedding since the burden of planning will be on you.

    • Reply
  • Maddie
    Devoted February 2022
    Maddie ·
    • Flag

    I always wanted a small like 50 person wedding but the way my FH is with his large family, I wasn't given the luxury, and I accepted that. That being said, I want it to be as fuss free as possible where people just eat, drink, and have a good time. I'm doing a lot of DIY (assortment of bottles for centerpieces, macrame that I'm doing myself) No cake, just pastries and donuts, ceremony and reception are in the same space and my uncle is officiant. We are skipping the bridal party and only having his brother as best man and my best friend as man of honor. I feel like a lot of headache and money gets spent on this.

    You can for sure find a pretty dress for a couple hundred dollars especially if you stay away from "wedding dresses" and look for white dresses. Skip out on favors and fancy plates. Also as many other ppl have said...I WOULD get a professional photographer, even if it's just for a couple hours. I got a photographer for 4 hours - not nearly enough time for the whole wedding. I'm most concerned about them capturing the ceremony and a couple photos after. Once the party starts, personal photos are fine.

    • Reply
  • Candace
    Devoted March 2022
    Candace ·
    • Flag
    If your FH is not currently planning, then you should definitely strep in and plan what you want. Even a simple wedding needs to be planned because vendors get booked up. The more you procrastinate, the more money you'll spend.
    My first wedding and FH's second. Our wedding will be fun. A big country dance hall wedding with an emphasis on food and music. Not spending a ton on a dress or decor. I'm hoping it will be a great celebration and experience for everyone.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Devoted May 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    Our wedding is barely a wedding lol. Our immediate family and we will be standing in a circle on the beach while we get married, no walking own the aisle, no bridal party, no decorations, no flowers. Then we will head to our house for dinner with our family and hanging out. The only things I have spent any money on really is the photographer and my dress.

    • Reply
  • B
    Dedicated June 2023
    bevbabe ·
    • Flag

    This is my second marriage and my fiance's first. We're still doing something extravagant. Honestly that's just the type of person I am. I love planning. I love parties. I love decorating. So an extravagant wedding is worth it to me for memories as well as the pictures to show our kids. We're doing a destination wedding. Talk to your fiance and see what he wants. See if you can find an affordable planner who can work with your budget to make a simple yet affordable wedding that you both will love.

    I would still hire a photographer. Just because people have phones doesn't mean everyone knows how to take them and edit them.

    • Reply
  • Kristina
    Beginner October 2022
    Kristina ·
    • Flag
    I feel like my post misspoke, I've already Hired a photographer, I was implying on cutting out wedding favors, you know all the money wasting nick nacks most people get without their name and wedding date on them? That was my corner cutting on saving money. When I said everyone has a cell phone, I implied they can post their own reminder of our event instead of us wasting money on the nick nacks. Sorry for the confusion.
    • Reply
  • Kristina
    Beginner October 2022
    Kristina ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you, I keep moving forward no matter the case. We have conversations out through the month, I think my need for executing task are a little on the high side. He is very helpful and supportive, he's even given me extra money for holding our photographer with out me even asking.
    • Reply
  • Kristina
    Beginner October 2022
    Kristina ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    That sounds wonderful, I'm sure it will be amazing.
    • Reply
  • Cassidy
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag

    Sounds like you are confident in your choices, which is a really good thing! Favors are not necessary and if you are doing favors try something disposable or food. Our favors will be pretzels from Philly Pretzels. It will cost us under $100 for service, pretzels, bags, and set up. This is our first time being married and we are going small. We are doing 50 guests at a DIY brewery. Biggest con is its not inclusive, however we can literally do whatever we want. Which is awesome. For us, we didn't want to have a traditional wedding and that's okay. I agree with your flower situation. I am not having bridesmaids, so that eliminates that cost. I am getting myself a bouquet and I'm thinking faux. Also, we aren't focusing on so much décor. We are obviously going to make it nice, but I don't want to be stuck with a bunch of wedding stuff the next day. Only advice I would give is to get a photographer. This is going to be a special moment for you and your man. So, cherish the memories with photos you can look back on. Also, compare and contrast doing DIY or just buying it made already.

    Good Luck!

    • Reply
  • Dylan&Hana
    Beginner September 2022
    Dylan&Hana ·
    • Flag

    We are planning something similar to what you are talking of! Our wedding will have no kids, a guest list of 32: parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles. We are not hiring a DJ or caterer. We are having our wedding on my brothers property in Michigan in September of 2022. Our wedding favors are going to be some cheap fleece blankets (ending the night with a bonfire). We are not having a dancefloor. We are laying out a rug on the grass with some spotlights for a few important dances (daddy-daughter, first dance, etc.) and are instead having fun games like giant jenga, corn hole, etc. Our bartender is a big bucket full of ice. My dad and brother are roasting a pig. Side dishes will be: baked beans, corn bread and coleslaw. My future father-in-law will be making chili and lentil bean soup in crockpots. (So, other than the cost of the pig, food will be delicious, wholesome, hearty and most importantly, affordable.) Our cake is being baked by my sister-in-laws sister-in-law. We will be creating a playlist on Spotify and playing it in the the background on a speaker. I am planning on buying a wedding dress (>$300) online and having it altered. I'm shooting for a more flowy/boho vibe. Something I can play games in! We are going with greenery instead of flowers. The cost difference is amazing!

    I agree with so many others though when it comes to the photographer. I definitely recommend hiring. I am hiring a family member who runs her own small photography business and she is giving me a screaming deal in return. I totally get where you're coming from with cutting costs but there are some aspects that you just can't cheap out on and I feel like the photos are one of those things. I recommend going to like a local community college and posting a flyer for somebody who is small time and trying to get their name out or asking family and friends.

    Hope this helped to get the idea-wheels turning!

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