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Expert June 2021

Are we considered interfaith? How can the ceremony suit all?

on December 27, 2019 at 1:52 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
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Hello everyone, and happy holidays! I recently got proposed to by my amazing boyfriend of 6 years now fiancé on my bday Christmas Eve. And though it’s been only two days of engaged life the upcoming conversations with our families are already swirling in my head. My first question is will mine and my fiancé’s wedding be considered interfaith? He is catholic and I grew up a non denominational Christian also unbaptized at the moment. I am also the daughter of a minister (dad).
I’ve never considered Christianity and Catholicism to be interfaith or two different kinds of faith since we have the same faith, holy book, etc. also it falls under the same umbrella of Christianity. But over the years my fiancé and I have learned that though we both are Christians we still have different traditions and practices. So now I am wondering if that will make our union interfaith, and if so how will it affect the ceremony we plan?

If we are interfaith, how can we create a ceremony for both of our extended families to be represented as well as ourselves? We have decided to do a neutral setting at a banquet hall. We’ve decided this months in advance so when the first question to leave our parents mouths were what church we already had an answer. They seemed a bit disappointed but it quickly left. We just knew that if we picked a church the next question would be what church and a priest or a minister and either option would leave half the attendees feeling neglected. So no church.
Has anyone done a interfaith non religious ceremony setting? How were you able to find the balance? Who officiates the ceremony? I’m so stressed and I’m only two days engaged. (Sorry for the long post. It’s 1 am and I can’t sleep)

9 Comments

Latest activity by Emily, on December 27, 2019 at 1:17 PM
  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
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    Slow down and breathe. Congratulations on your engagement!! Now as far as religion goes, you both fall under Christianity with your belief in God being your foundation. As far as your ceremony its completely up to what you two decide together. It doesn't have to favor one faith over the other. Its your wedding and you can create it to be anything you want it to be. Dont overthink it and fixate on your differences but your similarities and mutual core beliefs.
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  • Dierdra
    Super August 2021
    Dierdra ·
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    I'm in the same boat. I am christian and he is Catholic. What I have found so far is that yes you are considered interfaith because a Catholic Priest can not marry a Catholic to a non Catholic. If you wanted to be married in his church you would need to go through the classes to yourself become Catholic.

    We are having an outdoor wedding - on a lake front. We plan to have a religious ceremony and pull in the important traditions for us - building a relationship on religion. Scripture reading, traditional procession music, but also a more unique unity and a interfaith (potentially lutheran) minister.

    Both of our families understand that we are wanting to find a home church that allows us both to be comfortable - so we are looking at Lutheran. That may be an option for the two of you.

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  • Alexis
    Dedicated April 2020
    Alexis ·
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    Are either/both of you practicing? You said your dad is a minister. If only one of you is practicing, do the one. If neither are practicing, then you’d only be doing an elaborate ceremony to please family. It’s your wedding, not theirs. Just do a ceremony centered around your love for each other. If both of you are truly practicing, then where have you spent Sunday mornings the past 6 years? His church or yours? If both, congrats that’s a lot of work to keep up with. And I see how this is a pickle then. And of course I don’t know the two of you personally, but most couples that I’ve encountered, where both people have separate religions (even though yours have the same religious foundations), neither person was truly practicing. So, why bother formulating a wedding ceremony based on a religion that neither person practices? Hope that helps, and didn’t come across as too blunt. Congrats on your engagement!
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    I would ask your dad to do it if he's a minister? While it will be more catered to your faith, it would be special for your dad to officiate your wedding. I don't see guests being offended. I've been to many catholic weddings and I am not catholic. They're coming to celebrate you and your husband. What y'all decide to do for your ceremony should have nothing to do with them. Maybe see if your dad would be willing to add in a Catholic tradition as well?

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  • Arianna
    Dedicated November 2020
    Arianna ·
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    We are having the same problem so I totally feel you on the sleepless nights. We have officially decided to forgo a catholic ceremony as I am non denominational and FH is not a practicing catholic. We are going to find a pastor to marry us since that’s the way we would like to raise our family. I should also add that we live together which makes the whole thing that much harder. Luckily my in laws are very laid back and just would prefer some sort of a Christian wedding. Good luck!
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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2020
    Sarah ·
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    Not true. I was baptized and raised Presbyterian. FH is Catholic and we are doing a Catholic ceremony. Yes, we have to do the Catholic premarital counseling but I do not have to convert to Catholicism to be married there.
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  • Emily
    Dedicated October 2021
    Emily ·
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    You are very lucky for that to be happening. Because depending on location and the sect of Catholicism (Latin/Roman Church, Byzantine Catholic Church. Albanian Catholic Church, Bulgarian Catholic Church, Hungarian Catholic Church, Melkite Catholic Church, Romanian Catholic Church, Russian Catholic Church, Ruthenian Catholic Church, Ukrainian Catholic Church, Slovak Catholic Church, etc.) there are Catholic churches that do require non-Catholics to convert to Catholicism before they will be able to marry there. I just went through this with my cousin. My entire family is Lutheran and she married a nice Catholic man and his Priest REFUSED to marry them unless she converted. It was very controversial for awhile there but ultimately she did convert and they are now happily married. I would talk to your FH and his Priest about what they require.

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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2020
    Sarah ·
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    Wow. I suppose it depends on the church and varies Parish to Parish. We have been in contact with the priest many times already and already started the pre-marital classes. The only caveat was that the priest doesn’t like to do full a wedding mass for a catholic/Christian wedding. Only a ceremony without the Eucharist. My church had to send a confirmation of baptism and that was all.
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  • Emily
    Dedicated October 2021
    Emily ·
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    Yeah it's very surprising the rules and expectations some of the churches have. Like I said it depends mainly on which sect they follow. I am so glad your FH's church is so accepting Smiley smile

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