Jessie
Devoted September 2020

Are these colors "super close"?

Jessie, on July 28, 2019 at 1:54 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 23
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Guess this is more to vent than ask advice but if y'all have advice, I'll take it cause I'm lost.
Tonight I sent a link in a group chat the the 3 ladies who will stand up with me. Granted, the wedding isn't until September of 2020 but money is tight for all of us and it gives them time to save and buy it when ever they have the time and money to do so. Makes sense, right? I found a dress off etsy for $40-$50 (depending on length) and it is the EXACT color FH (who is a graphic designer and is obsessed with Pantone colors) and I agreed upon.
Couple months back before having exact colors picked out, MOH and I discussed her reusing a purple dress she spent $150 on for a different wedding. David's Bridal called this color plum (swatch show- looks a lot more like eggplant). She personally messaged me saying she thinks it is SUPER close to the shade of purple we want that is plum by Pantone standards (sed strip), she doesn't have the money to do so because they're moving in a couple weeks, and was blindsided by the fact that I picked a different dress when we already talked about her using the one she already has.
I tried to talk to FH about mix matched dresses to make the ladies happy but he didn't want to "diversify the color palette." Alright. Fine. I'm not a fan of the mix match color trend any ways. So it's not like I didn't try to make things work the way she wanted it. Ot's not like I'm making them buy $300 lime green dresses with big bows on the but that you can never wear again. They're plum convertible dresses that can be worn in many ways more than once. If you have a $150 eggplant dress hanging in your closet that you haven't worn in 4 years, it's probably safe to say you'll never wear it again so you can easily turn around and sell it. No, you won't get what you bought it for but you could still get something back.
She never responded when I explained to her why I sent the link so soon and that FH and I wanted that exact color.
Am I freaking out over nothing? The colors are in the same color family but not "SUPER close." I feel like I'm turning into an uptight bride rather than being laid back and "here's your options, do what you want."

Are these colors "super close"? 1

Are these colors "super close"? 2

Are these colors "super close"? 3

23 Comments

  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2019
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    It's not the same color, not even close. And it's only $50. Even if she is moving in a few weeks your wedding is over a year away. If she can't save $50 in 8-9 months to have it in time for the wedding then that's a whole other issue in it self.

    Or you could buy the dress for her. But In my opinion of you can't save come up with $50 to be a part of my day which is over a year away then you don't need to stand beside me. It's not like it's $200-$300

    • Reply
  • Allison
    Dedicated October 2020
    Allison ·
    • Flag
    They could work together but are nowhere near the same color...

    • Reply
  • Vicky
    Expert January 2020
    Vicky ·
    • Flag
    They’re not the same color, but I want to caution you about using convertible dresses. They really don’t work well, aren’t very flattering, tend not to stay tied in the different styles (leading to a lot of tugging at the top and discomfort during the event), are made of thin fabric that tends to show every lump and bump, and are particularly problematic for plus size bridesmaids and bridesmaids with larger busts. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people regret that decision.
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Dedicated August 2020
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    They’re not close at all. 🤦🏾‍♀️ No you’re not being uptight, this is your wedding and you want the dress to be the same color or at least very close to it. It’s nice that you were going to let her wear another dress she already had, but when it turned out that it wasn’t even a little bit close to the color of course you wouldn’t be happy about it. It’s great to be understanding and laid back but your wedding = your rules/expectations. It seems like enough time to save up for a new dress, and $50 is wayyy cheaper than most bridesmaid dresses. Everyone’s financial situation is different though. If she really can’t afford it and you and your FH want things to match/look uniform, you may have to just buy the dress for her if you really want her to be in your wedding.
    • Reply
  • ASMini914
    Super September 2019
    ASMini914 ·
    • Flag
    It’s $50, you’re right, it’s not a $300 dress. I don’t think you need to let it go, I think you’re fine. Agreeing to be in someone’s wedding is agreeing to buy the dress, not reuse a dress hanging up in your closet.
    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Dedicated September 2019
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag
    It's not close at all. She has plenty of time to save money and buy a dress and $50 is nothing for a bridesmaid dress. My girls bought their dress in April for my September wedding.

    I have plenty of bridesmaid dresses I havent worn again but I never except to wear it as a bridesmaid in someone else's wedding. You are suppose to get the dress or color the bride chooses. I'm sorry she is causing you that stress.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super September 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    Yup the David's bridal plum is definitely eggplant. I just sold an old bridesmaid dress in plum from them on eBay. I paid whatever it was - $120? - at the time and I made $55 back on eBay. Those colors are not the same and she has more than enough time to save money for a 50 dollar dress.
    • Reply
  • ChiBride
    Devoted December 2019
    ChiBride ·
    • Flag
    As a heads up my sister in law wanted us to wear the same dresses for her wedding.....they were SHEER and it was not flattering AT ALL on me! Granted I’m plus sized, but it honestly only looks good on people with very little body fat. My sister in law ordered one just to try it on, and it looked good. It was just sheer, looked cheap, and is flattering on only a small amount of people.
    • Reply
  • Krissyl
    Devoted October 2019
    Krissyl ·
    • Flag
    I know you want the same color but if she is refusing and you d6int want to buy the dress for her, can she just wear her old dress? Since shes the MOH it would be okay if she was a little different than the other bridesmaids?

    I completely agree that she should buy the dress that you want as she agreed to be in the wedding and that means buying a dress. Just thinking of a solution in case she doesnt want to buy what you want.
    • Reply
  • Megan
    Devoted March 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    I think they look okay together, but if it's not what you want that's okay too! It's great that you are looking for affordable options for you bridesmaids!
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    Not even close! I don't think the colors will go together and if your fiance is into design hell probably freak out about this. Not to scare you but I don't want her or you ugly surprised if he gets undone.
    I feel like she has a long lead time to buy the convertible dress and if it's $50 she shouldn't complain. If $50 is going to be problem for her well over a year away that's a whole different thread.
    Also I wore a convertible dress for my friend's wedding, and they kind of stink. They're either super heavy or sheer, hard to tie and keep tied, and often need under garments. I wish I wore a slip and camisole under mine because looking at photos of me as a bridesmaid is yikes. Be sure to have them all test the dress out so they can determine what they need under it and don't be afraid to let them use brooches to secure the ties in place.
    • Reply
  • Tilar Fifield
    Devoted August 2019
    Tilar Fifield ·
    • Flag
    Stick your ground! They are clearly not the same color. Have you shown her that pic with the colors side by side? It’s a no brainer. If your wedding is over a year away there is no reason why she can’t scrap up $50 between now and order time. It irks me when girls say yes to being in someone’s wedding and then complain about every penny they have to spend. I know you guys originally agreed on her wearing her own dress, but you’re the bride and you changed your mind 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s $50. I think you’re doing her a solid right there by not making her buy another $150 dress.
    • Reply
  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    Definitely not the same color and I think they’d clash side by side. (sidenote, my girls are wearing the plum from David’s bridal lol). It’s your wedding so you should get to choose the color, not work around what other people have in their closet. As long as you’re being reasonable about the cost and give them plenty of notice (which you for sure are) then that’s totally fine
    • Reply
  • Iva
    Super September 2019
    Iva ·
    • Flag
    Those two colors are obviously not “super close”. However, they are from the same color family & have same warm tone, so they would look good together. It is pretty common for MOH to wear a slightly different dress style or different shade, so if you want, you could totally do this & it would look great! But if you don’t want to do this then I’m sure you can talk with your MOH & she would understand why you want her to buy the exact dress you picked, especially taking into account that it’s $50. After all, MOH is bride’s closest friends/family, so I’m sure she’ll work with you on this 🙂
    I must say I find your FH comment about not “diversifying color palette” hilarious in this case, lol. And this is coming from someone who has worked in design field & with colors, for many years; not to mention that my entire closet is sorted by color 😆 Sounds like FH is the one being little bit bridezilla here lol.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Not close but I like different hues of same color and for MOH to have a slightly different one. I think you’re fine. But she is your MOH if she can’t afford $50 then I would gift her the matching dress.
    • Reply
  • L
    Dedicated March 2020
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    Would you be able to offer $25 and go in with her so she only has to pay $25? If she’s really struggling for money and says she can’t buy it or is confused because maybe she thought you said she could just wear the previous one? maybe she is just stressed because being in a wedding party and especially the MOH is a big ordeal for some people. I would feel happy to help my MOH even pay for the whole thing if it meant to relieve both your stressors. And all i would have to do is skip on eating out for dinner twice or so to get that money back in my account over the next year (~$4/month).

    I hope that that didn’t sound like I was ragging on you. I just hope this doesn’t turn into something more over a $50 item that is not a reflection of your relationship with her!! Good luck!
    • Reply
  • F
    Dedicated November 2019
    Fia ·
    • Flag
    From a bride that considered the plum color from David's Bridal: your MoH may think the color is exact to very close because that swatch you have wont do the dress justice I'm regards to its color. The dress will be a different shade depending on the lighting. It will look plum in artificial light and purple in the actual sunlight. Flash and no flash etc. I went with a different shade because of this fact.
    If the cost if a dress is truly the issue. I would consider gifting her the dress you wanting her to wear for your wedding.

    • Reply
  • F
    Savvy June 2020
    Fredrecia ·
    • Flag
    Not the same color but your moh can have a different dress. My bridesmaids are wearing lavander and my moh silver(colors are lavander and silver)
    • Reply
  • Anna
    Expert August 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag

    Not the same color at all. I would just buy it for her, personally. Spend the $50 so you don't have to stress about it.

    • Reply
  • Ana
    Savvy December 2019
    Ana ·
    • Flag
    They are similar but I don’t think they match, you could choose white or gold.. to go with the darker purple.
    • Reply

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