Are Save the Dates necessary ??

Save the dates are necessary for destination weddings. Invitations should go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding, you can push it to 10-12 weeks for a destination wedding, but 13 months is absolutely too soon. All that's going to do is give you an inaccurate head count. Do you know if you can make it to an event that's over a year away? Neither do your guests. Plan for your entire guest list, just like you would for a local wedding. You don't need a final headcount until 2-3 weeks before the event.

Definitely needed in your case. The point of the save the date is to give a heads up. your guests 100% need a heads up if they are invited to a destination wedding. Sending invites 13 months out will only cause headache for you. No one can 100% say if they are coming or not that far in advance and you'll still be chasing people down for RSVPs. I'd send save the dates in your case, it's easier.

I know the timeline mentioned above follows typical wedding protocol, but I totally understand wanting to send everything out sooner. I still think 13 months is too far in advance for invitations, but I could imagine getting an invite closer to 6 months out. I would strongly recommend sending save the dates out a year in advance (which will give people plenty of time to plan and save), and you can socialize the plans with close friends and family you're sure you're going to invite to make sure they're in the loop.

No they are not. I didn't do them because it was just wasted time and money. I did spread the word by mouth and online, though. And my invites will be going out 3 months in advance instead of 2 months.

I would send out save the dates for sure for a destination wedding. I think sending them out 1 year in advance is a good idea, then invites maybe 6 months out. I think you'll have a hard time getting people to commit farther than 3 months out for a vacation.