Are my expectations unrealistic?

I've been to 300 person parties. They were fun. I recommend you have a DJ there to manage the music for you though, if you expect people to dance. Often, wedding DJs can seem a bit talky because they are in charge of announcing wedding events and directing the flow of the evening. But if you are willing to forego bridal traditions like first dances, parent dances, cake cutting, etc, then they can just focus on the music. And as a live professional, rather than an iPod playlist, they can take requests on the spot or focus on a particular style of music if they notice that your guests are really enjoying it. Plus they bring technical expertise; and you don't want to be messing around with uncooperative speakers and wiring in front of 350 people! Just tell them you want to patter kept to a minimum and go from there.

As for the rest, don't wear a dress and have dessert but not traditional cake. Great food and unlimited booze are a great start to any party. If you want casual, that's a great way to set the tone - BBQ or tacos or something like that will help your vibe a lot. People will bring gifts whether you register or not though, so have a gift table and a card box at the ready.

Make sure that after your ceremony you take your parents and siblings out for lunch to thank them for coming though. Everyone who's there on the day should get a thank you event on the day.

If you have that many people you need either a DJ or a band for entertainment. Glad to hear you plan to have a catered meal and booze, but also consider a desert. I don't know that many people so can't imagine it. Good luck.

Totally! In fact, this sounds great! If you're hoping to save money by doing this, you won't, because food, booze, and venue are the biggest budget items and for that many people it's going to be $$$.

We'll be havIng dinner at a nice restaurant after the ceremony. There will absolutely be dessert! I just don't like the crazy wedding cakes. Doing this comes out much more expensive than if we just did a wedding package, so I'm ready for that. It's not a budget thing, it's just a complete lack of interest in the traditional course. I'm not into it. My family is having heart palpitations over it. I guess they thought when we got engaged I'd suddenly be into all this stuff, but that just isn't the case. Thanks everyone! You all make excellent points. I'll definitely consider the DJ.

It will be catered! We want to treat our loved ones and have them come be happy for us, without any of the other frills.

Sounds like a fun time to me!

My wedding is 350 ppl that's fine do what u want ur day!

Curious why your having the party a couple months later?

How about doing a big back yard BBQ party. Pay a friend of a sibling to bar tend for you, Get some kegs on ice, and contact a local caterer.

Its your day, make it as casual and you want.

Just a head's up on the above, you don't want a friendor bartending! With 350 people there, you want someone who knows how to control the amount being consumed, cut people off if need be and has liability insurance. You can still hire a pro bartender for a casual event.

A nice dinner at a restaurant can be really fun! I've been to weddings like that and they were great. I would suggest getting a DJ though because the right DJ can really work the room and get people having fun without taking away from the event.

With 350 people, you will need 6-8 bartenders. You will be married so just have a party. I agree with a DJ, a good one will keep the party going.

I was thinking about this, and I don't get it. The way you have it planned is fine, but you are just adding the expense of a dinner. Why not just have the ceremony before the party, but don't do any of the things you don't want to? As a guest, it's the ceremony I am coming to see. The party is awesome but it's not a reception if it's months after you got married. It's just a party. Everything you named as something you don't want to do is totally optional. You don't have to do them. Couples omit all those things all the time and it has nothing to do with the size or timing of the reception. Like I said, the way you have it planned just adds the expense of a dinner, and guests are expected to celebrate a marriage months after the fact that they did not get to see. I would give some consideration to having the ceremony right before the reception and just not doing the stuff you don't want to. To be honest, this would strike me as a bit gift grabby, since you have been married and had a reception months prior. I would either not call the big party a reception, and not have anything wedding related at it, and not mention the marriage at it, or invite everyone to the ceremony and then have the reception after. You can do it the way you have planned, but you are adding expense and complexity for no reason that I can see. Is there some reason for splitting it this way that you haven't mentioned?

^This.

I agree, if I knew I was coming to essentially a reception without seeing the ceremony is think it was gift-grabby. I know that's not what you're going for but it comes off that way. You may want to consider just doing it all one day and inviting those people to your ceremony. If not, don't mention anything about a wedding at that party.

And if you do just throw a party, you're just giving yourself the stress of throwing a massive party for 350 people. Just some things to think about!

I would not want to either host or go to a 350 person event.

What kind of space will accommodate that many people comfortably that isn't a huge ballroom? And unlimited food and booze for that many sounds $$$. I know you said it's not a budget issue, but even if you are catering food for 20.00 a head is 7k. That doesn't include booze, dessert, rental of space, rental of chairs, tables, linens etc.

Hi! You all definitely make great points. I'll try to address my thought process.

My budget is $100,000, so cost is not an issue.

No friendors. I don't want any of my friends or family to have to work that day. I want them to enjoy.

I want to put "no gifts" somewhere in the invitation, but I'm not sure how to do that tactfully. Suggestions?

The ceremony and reception are separate because we prefer to keep it small and private. They are far apart because of the availability of the reception space.

I have an ENORMOUS family. 184 of those guests are MY local relatives. The party is just something nice to do with all the people we love. We want them to enjoy and be happy without having to worry about gifts and fancy outfits.

Thank you, all! Keep it coming!

You never mention gifts anywhere on the invite, including "no gifts." Just don't call it a reception (because you will have already had one, months prior) or mention anything wedding related and you are fine. I think you are letting your vision run away with you on this. If you want an intimate ceremony with just parents/siblings/grandparents, that's fine. I find that disappointing as a guest, but it's your prerogative. Then just have this big reception after the ceremony. Sounds like you would have to change the ceremony location to do that. I don't get how availability of the reception space effects where you have the ceremony. Again, I think either having an intimate ceremony and the big reception immediately after (even if you have to change locations around), or just make the big party a big party, unrelated to the wedding, is the way to go.

Thanks everyone! I really, really appreciate the advice! I'm taking everything to heart.

No one has 350 close friends and family, I'm sorry.

And few have a 100,000 budget.

With no DJ.

Sorry, none of this adds up.

$100,000?!? Buy a house instead!