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MONICA
Savvy June 2021

Are Honeymoon Funds a No No?

MONICA, on February 8, 2021 at 4:12 PM Posted in Registry 1 71
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I was reading another post about wedding "no no's" I read all about how people think the honeymoon fund or giving tree/wishing well is a no go. But we've been together for 12 years we really don't "need" anything. Most people want to give you something so why end up with a bunch of things we don't "need"? I was planning on doing sending in the invite a note saying no gifs but if you insist just contribute to honeymoon fund but now I'm concerned that will be tacky. Thoughts? TIA!

71 Comments

Latest activity by Lauren, on March 29, 2021 at 5:56 PM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I had a honeymoon fund. nothing is actually wrong with having one, it's just that there are fees associated with it so it's not super preferred to have it. i think mine charged like 2.5% transaction fee

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  • Expert September 2021
    ·
    • Flag

    I don't have an answer for you but I'm interested in what others say!

    My fiancé and I have lived together for 2 years, so we have everything for our home that we need/want! We talked about registering for gift cards, but money for our honeymoon would be nice too!

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    I don’t see anything wrong with honeymoon funds. If you do not want to register for physical gifts, people typically just bring cash or gift cards. You can always include a honeymoon fund on your wedding website. But I wouldn’t specifically mention anything involving money on/with your invites.
    • Reply
  • AJ
    Devoted October 2022
    AJ ·
    • Flag

    I've never seen anyone asking for specific gifts in an invite or to contribute to a honeymoon fund. Most people are probably going to cut you a check or give cash? - or if they do give you something it will probably come with a gift receipt. But if you aren't registered/having a bridal shower I don't feel like people would get you something random you didn't ask for? I have no idea honestly.

    Personally, I wouldn't put it on the invite.

    • Reply
  • Molly
    Expert May 2022
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm in the same situation my finance and I have been together for 9 years, this is our second home together so we are all set on our needs. We would prefer a honeymoon fund/cash. In my Laotian culture it's actually preferred to gift cash for weddings, instead of presents. However, I don't think his family is big on cash giving and prefer the traditional gift registry route, so we will actually do both. Add a few items to a registry list and have a honeymoon fund/cash.

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  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
    • Flag
    I don't see anything wrong with a honeymoon fund or a house saving fund or like that when it's done via a website. Wishing wells and when people include in their invitation that they prefer cash over a gift (I've seen this twice) is when it gets a little tacky to me.
    • Reply
  • MONICA
    Savvy June 2021
    MONICA ·
    • Flag
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    Here is what I was thinking for the back of our invite:

    "with all the love we have, we are beyond blessed, your presence is all we request. if you decide to give nonethless, a donation to our honeymoon fund is what would suit us best"

    Thoughts? I'm being pulled in different directions...bridesmaids, fiancé say yes, but a crap ton of folk on here (discussion threads) saying a hard no Smiley sad I just don't want it to be tacky or rude.

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    From my experience on WW, Americans find wishing wells in poor taste and frankly it boggles my mind. In Australia, where I am from, wishing wells are standard and no one batters an eyelid – the way we see it, people don’t like to come empty handed and if you are going to direct people to a registry, what difference is it if you instead ask for cash (for those that want to give a gift)? I personally think it absurd to buy someone a vase/glasses/towels etc that they didn’t ask for/won’t ever use as opposed to giving them a monetary gift that can actually be used for whatever purpose they want (even if it is just to cover the cost of my attendance at the wedding).

    I think you will be absolutely fine including a note in your invitation suite that you have a honeyfund for any people who want to contribute to it. I myself will include a card in my invitation suite advising guests that we are having a wishing well.

    There may be some people who still opt to give a physical gift (or nothing at all) but that is at their discretion if they choose to do so.
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  • Jessica
    Devoted February 2021
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    I don’t care for the honey fund I find it tacky. However if you don’t register anywhere most likely people will give you cash. Which is traditional for people who already have everything they need anyway
    • Reply
  • Jami
    Dedicated March 2021
    Jami ·
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    Just don't add it at all on your invitation, do you have a wedding website? that is where I added my honey fund information
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    No gifts should be mentioned in an invitation, but especially not money to pay for your vacation. People know cash is a good gift without you telling them so.
    • Reply
  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
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    Your guests will all have different opinions, and that's completely fine! It's your day, and you have every right to ask for what you want, so if you and your fiance are set on it, go for it. As a bride, I completely understand wanting cash, as I've been living with my fiance for 5 years now. As a guest, I feel like I'm obligated to give more if you ask for cash than I would spend on a physical gift, which is where the "tacky" part comes in for me (in my head I'm thinking $50 will do nothing for the couple, I need to give more). But this may just be a me problem Smiley smile Your wording is much more classy than I've seen before, but I would agree with other posts to put it on your site instead of the invitation.

    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    We used Honeyfund and I see no difference between asking for “this cooking pan” or “wine tasting tour on our honeymoon.” It’s still asking for something specific. Just follow registry etiquette—don’t put registry information in Save Dates or invites. Wait until asked if you’re registered.


    I’m still unsure if registry etiquette allows putting the info on a wedding website. 🤷‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    Wishing wells are more common in Australia, but here in the USA they're a no-no. People will get the hint to give you cash if you don't register. Honeymoon funds are a happy medium, but again, most people take the hint and if you don't register then they'll give you cash. We did a small honeymoon fund through our registry where we designated certain amounts for activities we would be doing on our honeymoon, but few people used this and most simply gave us cash. Also, nothing about gifts or a honeymoon fund should be mentioned on your invitation. The appropriate place to put a link to a honeymoon fund is on your wedding website.

    • Reply
  • MONICA
    Savvy June 2021
    MONICA ·
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    That is my thought exactly. When you send the invites you are directing them to a registry of some sort, which is the same thing so I just can't fund the understanding in how/why if I don't need anything I should create a "fictitious" registry so guests can bring us something? Seems absurd. Thank you for your feedback!

    • Reply
  • Kaylie
    Savvy October 2022
    Kaylie ·
    • Flag
    I say just do it! My fiancé and I are doing a honeymoon fund with a VERY small registry in case anyone really doesn’t want to donate to our honeymoon. I added a description of what we plan to do on our honeymoon and a promise to share stories and photos for the rest of our lives so that everyone knows what they are contributing to. I personally hate clutter and don’t want a million sets of sheets or a new set of knives. I think anyone attending your wedding will understand why you don’t want items. If they get offended them oh well! 🤷🏼‍♀️
    • Reply
  • MONICA
    Savvy June 2021
    MONICA ·
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    Thank you, I'm not using a site which is part of the problem, and we have older family that are not internet savvy, but I get your point and thank you for the reponse!!

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  • MONICA
    Savvy June 2021
    MONICA ·
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    No not using one as i initially intended to.

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  • MONICA
    Savvy June 2021
    MONICA ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I appreciate your response so much!! Thank you!

    SO many are saying no which is why it caught me off guard.

    • Reply
  • Kaylie
    Savvy October 2022
    Kaylie ·
    • Flag
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    I think it may be a no no for some people but ultimately anyone who knows you and your FH well enough to attend your wedding will understand. If you are worried, make a really small registry like we did!
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