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Brianna
Dedicated September 2023

Are Engagement Announcements tacky?

Brianna, on September 24, 2021 at 3:28 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 19

I'm SO excited to send out announcements to our family and friends. I want to share photos and the story of how it happened with our loved ones, especially since some of them don't have social media and haven't seen anything. BUT I've had a few people tell me it's tacky, looks like I'm trying to brag about my ring, or worse, just asking for gifts. Guidance and support please??

19 Comments

Latest activity by Jessi, on September 28, 2021 at 1:19 PM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    I don’t see anything wrong with it. But some people see it as gift grabby which is in the eye of the beholder and prefer you send announcements after the wedding for those not invited
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I have never received an engagement announcement in the mail, so I have no idea how common these are. I certainly wouldn't be offended or feel compelled to send a gift if I did receive one. But I might be confused, wondering if this was meant to function as a "save the date" and if I needed to call for more information about the wedding date.

    What is your ultimate goal for sending these? Are the people you want to announce to who aren't on social media not people you could just call with the news? Are you only planning to send them to people you will eventually invite to your wedding? That might hurt you in the long run since your wedding date is so far away and you might have to change your test list between now and then.

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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    Engagement announcements aren't traditionally a thing. I would side eye them. Definitely don't send anything to anyone not invited to the wedding.

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  • I_Do_Too
    Devoted September 2020
    I_Do_Too ·
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    Agree with this
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I've never received one before, but I wouldn't care if I received one. But what do you do with them after looking at them? Just curious. Is it like a holiday picture type of thing?
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I've never seen one, but yes, I would side eye that. As Vicky said, make sure everyone you send an announcement to will be invited to the wedding. I think in the age of social media, it does look like a gift grab.

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  • Candace
    Super March 2022
    Candace ·
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    Not tacky at all! I remember receiving engagement announcements before social media. I think it's adorable and would be happy to get one in the mail. If someone is telling you that they think it's braggy, then they need to consider their own envy.
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  • I
    Expert August 2021
    Ingrid ·
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    I think it's kind of strange. Why not just send them in a Christmas photo card? Then it doesn't look like you are sending them as Engagement Announcements. People love photo Christmas cards!
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    I wouldn't send an engagement announcement to someone who is not invited to the wedding. It's not commonplace, so it's confusing


    Posting on social media is fine because you're not targeting specific people.
    I honestly think it's a waste of money. A text to your nearest and dearest should suffice
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    Maybe you can just text specific family and friends one of the photos with a message saying “we’re engaged”, minus volunteering all of the backstory about who, what, when, where and how. Then those who want more details can simply ask, and you can individually respond to them.
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  • N
    Expert June 2021
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    I’ve never heard of engagement announcements so I am not sure how common they are to know if it’s tacky or gift grabby. It doesn’t seem like something that is necessary to send out. Also it can confuse people and have them think it’s a safe the date and that they are invited to the wedding. I wouldn’t send unless you are absolutely sure of who is invited. As for sharing
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  • N
    Expert June 2021
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    As for sharing how it happened with loved ones you can definitely use your wedding website for this and that way only those invited will see and you can avoid any possible misunderstandings or hurt feelings. You just want to avoid this getting sent to people who aren’t invited because they will definitely assume they are. My husband and I had a guest list of 80+ people and 9 months in had to downsize to 46 people had we sent an announcement there would have been so many hurt feelings. Luckily we didn’t send anything until 6 months out once we knew the final headcount of those definitely invited.
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    I don't see the point in doing it by snail mail. They will find out somehow, either through family gossip or your parents will call them or when they get invited to your engagement party. (Only do that last one if you're going to invite them to the wedding also.)
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  • Brianna
    Dedicated September 2023
    Brianna ·
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    We’re not having an engagement party as we don’t live in the same state as any of our family. We have gotten announcements for other people before by “snail mail,” because, as I mentioned, a lot of important people to us do not use social media or text. I would never send them to people not invited, that’s ridiculously rude. Just wanted to clarify!
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  • J
    January 1895
    Jessa ·
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    Announcements, such as graduation or new baby announcements have historically been used to both share the good news and to elicit a gift. That is what I would assume you were doing if I received an engagement announcement.

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  • G
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Grace ·
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    I think it’s an extra expense that isn’t necessary! Save the date serves the same function, if you are sending those out. Weddings are so expensive so any place you can cut is to your benefit 💕
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  • Megan
    Dedicated February 2023
    Megan ·
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    So my FH and I are having a long engagement, so we sent out a holiday card last year that on the back had a few sentences that announced we were engaged, and where it happened! We got so many compliments on it, and it was so fun to send out mail during the holidays!
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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    I'm scratching my head at all of the "I've never heard of this" posts.

    https://www.theknot.com/content/engagement-announcements-101

    "Once the proposal excitement settles, be sure to send formal engagement announcements to your loved ones. If you want to stick to tradition, consider a paper announcement along with an invite to an engagement party."

    Engagements were also often announced in the newspaper, but since people rarely read those now, that has fallen out of favor.

    As far as "sharing the story" I think you should just do that by phone call to those who you wish to share those details with. But an announcement itself is not tacky or even untraditional.

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  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
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    If it's a common thing in your circle then definitely do them if you want! As long as you're not putting a gift registry on there I don't see how they are gift grabby. Honestly, my mom would love that type of thing if people sent them to her. She keeps every invitation and announcement she gets sent in the mail, and I'm sure you have people in your life that are the same!

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