Kenzie
Dedicated March 2019

Are attendant gifts expected?

Kenzie, on February 26, 2019 at 5:10 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
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Hello!
is it expected you give your attendants a gift day of the wedding? When I asked my attendants to be a part of my day I did give a little gift then (bracelet w a card). My fiancé is curious if he should give his groomsmen something too, and if so, what is your groom giving his groomsmen?

Is it absolutely necessary? To be honest, most of them haven’t been helpful except two, which is fine, I’ve been a very easy going bride and haven’t needed much. Just want to know the official etiquette and any ideas. Thanks!

10 Comments

  • Kenzie
    Dedicated March 2019
    Kenzie ·
    Oh, and just to add, the cost of dress and shoes was under $60 dollars for everything (and yes they’re cute!).
  • Allie
    Rockstar August 2019
    Allie ·

    If he didn't want to get them anything, he could just give them a thank you card. I know most people on here have given an "asking" gift and/or given a gift the day of.

  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    You don’t have to give them a gift when you ask, but a thank you gift at the rehearsal dinner or day of the wedding is a necessity. It’s not their responsibility to help you, they’re spending their time and money to be in your wedding.
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    I believe they are more of a necessity than the proposal gifts. They're a way to thank your party for standing by your side on such a big day.
    Even if you dont want to do lavish gifts, a nice letter and a gift card are more than enough.
  • Kenzie
    Dedicated March 2019
    Kenzie ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Awesome, thanks! Gift card in a thank you card is a great idea.

    Any groomsmen gift ideas?
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    View Quoted Comment
    He could also do gift cards! My FH decided to buy him and his groomsmen matching Adidas track jackets lol

    I've heard lots of guys gift whiskey, flasks, watches, cigars, things like that.

    Are attendant gifts expected? 1
  • JustKidding
    VIP April 2018
    JustKidding ·

    Yes, it's only polite to give a thank you for being in my wedding gift.

    I think not doing so it's kind of on the rude side. It doesn't have to be huge. But something to say I love you and thank you.

  • FutureMrsD
    Rockstar July 2019
    FutureMrsD ·

    I would get them a gift. The proposal gift is nice & even if the dress & shoes were only $60, it's still a lot of work to be in a wedding (attend rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, getting ready, shower, bachelorette, etc.) so I think a gift should be required. I've been in two weddings, the first she gave us a watch and the second gave us a robe. The watch wasn't my style so I donated it (it actually didn't fit and wasn't adjustable) and the robe I gave away immediately because it was a cheap satin one for getting ready pictures in a flower print I'd never wear. I also gave my bridesmaids proposal gifts (jewelry box, liquor shooter, nail polish, hair bands), but I'm getting them bachelorette favor bags & day of presents. For the day of, I'm paying for hair & makeup & a chair masseuse (plus breakfast & lunch & transportation), a getting ready outfit each girl picked themselves, a tote, tumbler, hanger & handwritten letter from me. My fiance is giving his groomsmen a cigar cutter, a cigar, a personalized whiskey glass, and a pair of socks. He "proposed" to them with a personalized coke bottle and whiskey bottle. We are both SUPER easy going with our parties so they haven't done anything besides get their apparel and go to our bachelor/bachelorettes in May. My mom threw my shower so the BM didn't have to.

  • Kenzie
    Dedicated March 2019
    Kenzie ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Cool, thanks
  • Kenzie
    Dedicated March 2019
    Kenzie ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I’ve decided to get a little something, I was mostly just curious what the expectations were. They are ALL my sisters aside from my man of honor so I feel like they would be coming to all of those things regardless but I think it is the right thing to do for sure. I honestly just didn’t know if it was a very common thing or if it was something everyone did or what the deal was 😂 now that I know- I’m 100% doing it! Thank ya!

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