We're here to help you keep moving forward, no matter what your plans are.

Katelyn
Expert October 2020

Appropriate amount of time to respond to invites

Katelyn, on September 7, 2019 at 1:03 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 20
Saved Save
Reply
So, I’m not sending invites out for quiet some time, I know that much. However, I’m curious how long you give guests to respond to the wedding invites? I’m probably sending out my invites sometime in June or July of next year, but what is the appropriate amount of time to give them to respond? My wedding is October 4th of next year and I’m just unsure of how long to give them to respond. Any suggestions for a cut off date for RSVPs?

20 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on September 8, 2019 at 6:13 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I would make the deadline a week or two before your final headcount is due, so typically it would be 3-4 weeks before the wedding.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    I gave mine two months and they are due one month before the wedding
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Expert September 2020
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    I plan on giving about 4 weeks. Our count is due 30 days out so due date I'm thinking will be 45 days out. Time to hassle stragglers and maybe ask some people we would have wished to have if we get a lot of family "no" responses.
    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Expert October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks, my fiance and I are getting married in a backyard wedding at his parents house. So, I've been a little lost about the entire thing. I know I have a while to plan all this, but I'm kind of a person who if I don't start planning now it will never get done lol!

    • Reply
  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
    • Flag
    Mailed invites: 10 weeks out
    RSVP date: 5 weeks out
    Headcount to the florist for centerpieces: 4 weeks out
    Headcount to the venue for catering/booze: 2 weeks out
    • Reply
  • L. Thomson
    Expert October 2020
    L. Thomson ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Think I might use this timeline
    • Reply
  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    It worked well for us and gave us plenty of time to contact stragglers and make our seating chart. Hope it works well for you!
    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    Daughter mailed 8 weeks prior (Wednesday before Thanksgiving) with RSVP 4.5 weeks later (Christmas Day). First numbers due 2 weeks prior (florist), final numbers for the venue/catering due 1 week prior. Even with the holidays, 8 weeks was plenty of time! Asking for numbers really early "because a bride likes to be organized" backfires more often that it helps. Invites sent really early get set aside and/or lost because it doesn't seem pressing to the guest and early RSVP dates likely result in more changes and no-shows because people can't always really know their schedule so early.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I gave mine maybe a month and a half
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    For that wedding date you would send out invitations no earlier than the last 2 weeks of July , so they arrive about 8-9 weeks before the wedding . It depends on your crowd, what date to set. Almost a quarter of our guests , at least 1 member or the couple or household worked a weekend day, regular schedule. And none of the medical facilities, stores, travel or realtor or grocery manager jobs gave permission for time off, officially, until 4 weeks in advance or less . So there was no point setting a reply date further out than 3 1/2 weeks, then having them call to cancel because they did not get their time off. If nobody's work, school or kids schedule matters on the weekend ( or weekday if you marry then) it would be nice to know 5 weeks out, a week to check on people who didn't reply, then tell venue tentative numbers. But if people work weekends or depend on some activity schedules, you likely have to set a date 3-3 1/2 weeks out
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Devoted January 2020
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    One month. So I am sending out on or before November 1. And I expect them back by Dec 1. For my January 17 wedding. (Gives me about 2 weeks to hunt down last minute RSVPs).
    • Reply
  • Aleaj
    Expert October 2019
    Aleaj ·
    • Flag
    I sent out my invitations 3 months before the wedding. You want to send them far enough for them to make plans but not too far that they’ll forget about it. I set my rsvp date a month before the wedding date.
    • Reply
  • C
    Devoted September 2019
    Caitlyn ·
    • Flag

    Agree with others here. Make your RSVP deadline one or two weeks before your headcount is due. Like many, you'll most likely have to track down people who don't respond by the deadline.


    • Reply
  • L
    Devoted August 2019
    Leaves232 ·
    • Flag
    The "standard" timelines cut things so close in my opinion. I'm the type of person that needs things squared away before the last minute!

    Our wedding was in August so we mailed the invites end of May so people could work it into their summer schedules (also, our save the dates were mailed mid-February). The RSVP deadline was 6 weeks later, which left another 6 weeks to hunt down missing responses (there were a lot of those...)
    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Expert October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Well, what places need headcounts? My venue is my in-laws and they said as long as we’re under 100 people they don’t care (which we are under 100 because I don’t want more than like 75 people if possible). So, what other places need headcounts since my venue obviously doesn’t need one?
    • Reply
  • C
    Devoted September 2019
    Caitlyn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Our caterer and pastry chef needed our final headcount so they could make enough food for cocktail hour, dinner, and dessert (we opted for a smaller cake and a dessert bar). Also, our headcount (and reception arrangement) was needed so the florist make enough centerpieces for the venue.

    • Reply
  • Kyla
    Dedicated November 2019
    Kyla ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Even with the wedding being in the backyard, you'll need to know how many people to expect when you purchase alcohol, rent chairs, plates, etc. Even though your parents said to keep it under 100 people, it is responsible to tell your parents whether they should order food for 45 people or 75 people.
    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Expert October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Alright, just one moment not to nitpick, but my parents aren’t the backyard we are using. It’s my in-laws house. Sorry, not to nitpick. Also, they are only providing the venue as well as some alcohol. We are having a bring your own beer because we have a few alcoholics in the family and are trying to limit what we have by having others just bring it. I’m aware of trying to know the number we need for chairs and tables, just wasn’t sure what else would need a head count. Thank you for the useful information though.
    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Expert October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thanks! I’m not having a florist because I’m severely allergic to flowers, and our centerpieces are being made by a friend. I know some bakery’s do things differently and don’t necessarily ask for a headcount (I’ve run into two of them), but I want to provide one anyway now that I think about it so I’m not having them making this big cake for like 80 people when we are possibly only having 25 (we aren’t, but just to work with an example). I forgot all about the caterer! We actually weren’t going to have our wedding catered until recently when my in-laws pointed out we have no grills for our original idea of grilling hamburgers and such things.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    If she is set with everything, dishes, tables etc, and you have no rentals, then you may not have any deadlines. But if you are doing centerpiece, and renting linens and such, you may need 15 to 20 days notice for a rental company.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles