Anyone ever Un-Ask a bridesmaid?

I've never unasked mine but I def. want to. Well really she is my maid of honor but there is so conflict going on. I need the advice also.

Well i really cant say i un-asked her.. we stopped talking. But I think if they are a good friend to you, they should understand. Just let them know that you love them truely and you would love for them just to be at the wedding. And not deal with all the hassel on getting the dress, shoes, etc. If shes hurt it might take a few days, but she will understand because thats what friends do.

I have. I told her I couldn't afford a third bridesmaid & that I was sorry. We're perfectly fine.

I did it "by accident" - we've been engaged 8 years, and back when we first got engaged and had our original 2 dates (long story) I had an asked an aunt whose my age to be one of my BM's. Since we ended up changing the date so often, and there was a span of 3 years between the last time we had a date and this date - which is actually happening in 45 days!!! - I forgot I'd originally asked her and just never included her in the planning. Long story short, sorry I can't give any advice on how to go about doing it but if I could do it again, I'd talk to her in person, one on one, in a private neutral setting (lunch out maybe), and be open, honest and upfront with her about why.

Never un-asked, but have been "removed" from the bridal party. One of my BFFs (from Jr. High and we are still friends) asked me when she first got engaged. This was before I met the fiance... turns out the fiance and I HATED one another and he actually gave her an ultimatum... me or her. As her friend, I totally understood, even if it did break my heart a little. The important thing was that when he beat the tar out of her and she finally got up the courage to leave him, I was there to help her pack (and put the sugar in his gas tank).

Bump

Julybride, why don't you say a little bit about why you want to? Maybe someone might have more situation specific advice.

I was actually looking for a reason to unask her, but we ended up getting into a fight before i could unask her. So. in the midst of fighting i told her she was no longer a bm.

I did. we're still friends. there was no drama. everytime we'd tallk about the wedding she would get all weird and i finally asked her why and she said because she didnt know much about weddings and also that she thought i was too young and i simply told her i love her but theres a lot of girls who wanted to be in the wedding and though i really would love for her to still come, i didn't see the point in her being in a wedding she didn't completely support. she understood. we've been friends since 3rd grade so, she got it. no hard feelings.

I didn't un-ask, but my so called "best" friend and I got into an argument and ended the conversation badly. We still have not spoke since then. She was not participating at all either so it was not a real big loss for the wedding. I am still sad about our friendship ending the way it did after 15 years, but I guess people grow apart. All I can say is good luck!

I was un-asked.. I totally understood. She just sent me a heart felt letter explaining the situation. I am pretty easy going though. You just kind of have to base it on the person. You should have an idea of how they will react. Hope this helps.

I had to unask a bridesmaid. It was getting to the point where she kept putting off the dress fitting and kept telling me she had no money for it even though she was always out spending money. I just summed it up to her not wanting to be in the wedding so I approached her nicely and she agreed she didn't think she could financially do it. Then a few weeks later she stopped talking to me and I haven't heard from her since. And to tell the truth, I really don't miss her drama. In the end it was for the best.

I did and I DON'T regret it one bit! We don't talk anymore! She chose drugs and alcohol over friendship so it's not loss to me! I still love her to death and would do anything for her if she asked but I don't need people like that in my life!

This thread make me feel A LOT better. I had originally asked 11 friend to be my BM & had to un-ask 5. This was because because I immediately asked them the same day my fiancé popped the question (didn't keep count of how many I asked to be in my wedding), my fiancé didn't have that many guys to stand up with (we both are traditional that way) and my family (with the best of intentions) nuged that it was a bit too large of a bridal party. All the the ladies but 1 we're very gracious about it & said they completely understood, that it was a day for me and my fiance. (Although the other ladies are none to plussed with the one that complained)

So I asked my stepsister to be a bridesmaid because I was doing all of my sisters, but our parents are in the middle of a messy divorce and we don’t talk all that much anymore...I want to unask her but I’m unsure how to go about it without hurting her feelings. Any advice?

Hi.. I have 5 bridesmaids currently, 2 are maid of honors and then 3 just regular. I prematurely asked two of the girls I haven't been friends with for very long and now I want to un-ask them. Our friendships aren't very great right now either, we barely talk, and one of them is known for bailing at the last minute. I am terrified to tell them they aren't apart of the wedding party anymore and just want some advice on how to handle it.