Anyone else struggle with eating disorder issues? (Possible trigger warning)

I haven't personally struggled with this, but do have many friends who have and just want to remind you that you are not alone in this nor are your thoughts unusual. The only advice I can give is to share this with your FH/spouse or other people close to you in your support network to work through these types of thoughts. Remember that you are so loved and supported by those around you and that they will think you are beautiful no matter what, but more than anything want you to be healthy!

I'm in the same boat. I'm sure you know that stressful situations can trigger ED behaviors and planning a wedding is not only stressful but it's a day based around your appearance, to an extent. So it's extra stressful for people who might have an ED history to contend with.

I've been trying to focus on the health-side of it, not the pressure of looking a certain way. I've been weight restored for several years but have struggled with certain behaviors still. I don't have any magic words of advice or tips, unfortunately. I just keep some positive mantras handy so I can think through those when I feel those awful ED thoughts beginning to creep up.

ETA: if you want someone to talk to who understands, I'd be happy to give you my email and we can link up via FB or whatever. FH and I talk about this sometimes but he obviously doesn't fully comprehend where I'm coming from.

I am currently in treatment for an ED- I have had numerous issues regarding the dress and my weight, terrified it won't fit anymore if I gain. I even considered returning my mermaid style for a big ball gown to hide my body better if I gain weight, but my fiancé told me, the dress is made to fit me, not me to it. I know this doesn't help but here in solidarity, you're not alone.

Thanks for your support, ladies. It's always helpful to not feel as alone. I definitely want to continue trying to look at positive mantras. I saw my therapist/dietitian this morning and they both reminded me that in not just gaining weight, I'm gaining strength and energy. I think it's hard for all brides to feel pressure to look a certain way in a dress, and it's so hard to get that out of the back of my mind. Kelsey-rock your mermaid gown, I'm sure you look incredible. Mermaids dresses are so gorgeous! Cheval- I'm with you. FH is supportive and encouraging, but definitely doesn't fully understand where I'm coming from. I'd love to email more if you're open to it.

Surviving an ED will always be a daily thought, if not a struggle.

I encourage you to find a few photos of strong healthy women to refer to when your feeling as though gaining weight will negatively effect your appearance on your wedding day. We are always more beautiful when we are healthy and happy!!!

I hope you get through this all as well. I agree that wedding = stress and stress = triggers and setbacks. What makes me feel better is doing what I can to just be healthy. I work out every day (in moderation) and I replace bad things with good things. I threw away my scales. I avoided mirrors on bad days. Sometimes it's harder than ever. But you're getting married. You have help and your partner loves you. I know it sounds cliche and everything, but forget what you look like or what you want to look like and focus on being healthy and strong and a good person in general. Best of luck!

I'm a recovering anorexic. The wedding planning process has been difficult because I deal with my stress by not eating because it's a control issue.

Wedding dress shopping was the hardest for me because I don't have that "normal womanly figure". I start alterations Saturday and looking at my body in my dress makes me sick. I hate every inch of it. The only thing that I've found helps is being open and honest about it with FH. If he notices that I've stopped eating he will put a plate in front of me and make me take a couple bites. It works because I know he's doing what NEEDS to be done to keep me healthy.

You can do this! Don't ever be afraid to be open about it here. You're not alone.

Me!! I started tearing up when I saw this thread. I felt so alone! Is there any way we could all get in touch with each other ? I'd be happy to email.

LuckyAK-same! I have no idea if there's a way to initiate contact on here. Feel free to email me if you want- **********@*****.***.

Future cat- emailing you <3

I almost died from an eating disorder (anorexia with and exercise addiction) and even though it was years ago and I feel pretty far along in my recovery the wedding has brought up many negative ED thoughts, especially when I am stressed. You are not alone and I too feel your pain. I know lots and lots of people in our situation. I had to be placed in in patient rehabilitation with a feeding tube pumping thousands of calories into me every day at my sickest point and never want to return to that state. For me I have found the simplest things can help me get my mind off stress and depressing points. Talking to someone always helps. Sometimes even when I don't feel like eating I just force myself to eat something because I never want to go back to being a victim of ED.

I am a recovering anorexic.. I say recovering because it never really goes away.. in high school I struggled with it not because I didn't like my body, but because I needed something to control.. I hurt my body pretty badly to the point I ballooned up in size.. it is near impossible to lose weight because of the damage, plus it has affected my fertility and drs have told me that it will be hard to stay pregnant (had 2 confirmed miscarriages.. I say 3 but that last one was never confirmed.) With all the wedding stress it makes it hard not to slip into my old routine of living off of saltine crackers and pickles and to this day I cannot have both in the house at the same time. I know an ed is bad, but the feeling of control is so tempting, even after 15 years.

Stay strong.. your FH is right with his statement that the dresses are made to fit us and not the other way around.

I struggled with bulimia for a few years. It was aggravated by a horrible abusive marriage. I haven't tried on any wedding dresses yet, mostly our of fear. I know since I got help and started healing mentally I've gained a significant amount of weight (40lbs) so I've been putting it off. All I can say is keep working with your therapist, they give you great tools to handle your anxiety. Good luck

I have a mental illness of which disordered eating is a symptom. I had been functioning really well until recently when my brain started to go a little haywire. I'm doing everything I can to keep wedding planning low-stress, from choosing an almost all-inclusive venue with attentive staff to having a long engagement to keeping a small guest list. Something about making big life changes just seems to set me off no matter what.

I opened up to my FH about how I've been feeling - he's noticed the change in my emotions and behavior - and we decided we are going to see therapist(s) both separately and together to learn how to best support me and cope with my illness without putting too much pressure on him. This is not something you need to do or should do on your own, and your soon to be husband needs to be well educated and on board with treatment.

You will look radiant on your wedding day regardless of the size of your body, but I truly hope you are able to get to a good enough place mentally that those thoughts don't plague you on such a joyous occasion.

Hi There! I know this post is old but I too am now going through the same thing (weight restoration) before the wedding and am about ready to throw in the towel...how did it all turn out?

Hey you’re doing great. Do not worry. Sometimes that’s all a person needs to hear especially in cases like this. I struggled with an eating disorder for the past 5 years and now I’m engaged and i have those occasional thoughts off “oh my god I’m gonna look horrible in m dress because these parts of my body are too big”. It’s a lot to overcome. It really is. I did wrestling for the past five years and went from 145lbs to 115lbs all because i thought i would look “healthier” and my body would look nicer then but i was sadly mistaken. You’ve got this. I beilieve in you.