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Cassidy
VIP October 2017

Anyone else not have a bridal shower ?

Cassidy, on June 19, 2017 at 2:16 PM Posted in Planning 0 17

I have never been the type for bridal showers. They just seem totally gift grabby to me. It's hard for me to ask that of my guests because all of them don't live by me and are out of town, and we also live out of town from the wedding. We live together and have a lot of stuff. We'd like some more stuff, nicer upgraded stuff if we can, and our wedding is in 4 months. And we still have a lot to do! My bridesmaids hate bridal showers and so do I, but stuff is nice. I always thought shelling out a gift for the shower and the wedding was kind of unnecessary and very expensive. Anyone else not have a shower and don't regret it? We aren't having a rehearsal dinner either.

17 Comments

Latest activity by Kim, on June 20, 2017 at 5:01 PM
  • Chivy
    VIP September 2018
    Chivy ·
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    Did someone offer to throw you a shower and you declined? I will not be having one.

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  • Mandy
    Devoted June 2024
    Mandy ·
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    This is not our first marriage and we already have an established house. We are not registering for anything and we probably won't have a shower. You don't have to have a shower, however if someone offers to throw you one, you should not decline it based on "I have too much to do" or "I don't like showers".

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  • mrsmack
    VIP April 2017
    mrsmack ·
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    If you're having a rehearsal, you need to have a rehearsal dinner to thank the people that participate in the rehearsal. It doesn't have to be anything super formal or expensive, but you should buy a meal for those folks as a thank you.

    I didn't have a bridal shower - most of the people who would have attended the shower live out of town and I didn't want them having to make 2 trips to where I live. I decided to skip it and I don't regret it or feel like I missed out, and nobody batted an eye about it.

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  • Katie
    Expert October 2018
    Katie ·
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    I don't want a bridal shower, I don't like the idea of them and agree with you they are kind of gift grabby. We have some people who are insisting on throwing one for me and I asked that if they did it be co-ed and include everyone and not be in my hometown of Pittsburgh (this is mostly because of work schedules and living in Baltimore.) 90% of our guest list is from out of town and there is no need for them to drive back and forth a couple times. We don't need anything and we've been living together for 2 years now and we are not doing a registry. Bridal shower games are super awkward and and make me cringe. You're putting someone on the spot and that is not a good combination with someone with bad anxiety.

    If you're not doing a rehearsal dinner then I could recommend taking at least the bridal party (and any family members who might be paying) out to dinner for a nice meal as a thank you or plan a night out as a thank you. Maybe out to breakfast the morning of the wedding.

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  • N
    Master December 2016
    Nancy ·
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    When I get a bridal shower invite, I usually think, "Another gift to budget for". Just go out to lunch with your Bridesmaids.

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  • FilleNouvelle
    Expert April 2018
    FilleNouvelle ·
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    As far as I know, I'm just having a bachelorette. That's the only group of people I'd want there for that sort of thing anyway!

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  • Steagles
    Devoted August 2017
    Steagles ·
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    Same! I feel the same as you do about showers and I hate going to them as a guest if it's not someone I'm incredibly close to. I'm not having one.

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  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
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    No, I'm not having a rehearsal. No need to be rude. I have no problems feeding my guests and the insinuation is not appreciated. I am not having a rehearsal dinner, an for my bridesmaid said I'll throw you A shower if you want one. But you don't think I should decline because I don't like them? well, that's your opinion, and we happen to be in disagreement here: if I don't want one, I'm not having one. It's hard enough for me and all my guests to get off at the same time as it is.

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  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
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    My bridesmaid said I'll throw you A shower if you want one. But you don't think I should decline because I don't like them? well, that's your opinion, and we happen to be in disagreement here: if I don't want one, I'm not having one. It's hard enough for me and all my guests to get off at the same time as it is.

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  • #MscoopedL
    Devoted October 2017
    #MscoopedL ·
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    I am not having one. I find they can be a bit dull. I let my family and friends know I wasn't into the shower scene. I AM into the mimosa scene though.

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  • kimbo
    VIP January 1900
    kimbo ·
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    "if I don't want one, I'm not having one"

    Then why are you asking us?

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  • Nsol
    Devoted August 2017
    Nsol ·
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    Yeah seriously, OP, why'd you ask lol

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  • J
    Super September 2017
    Jenny ·
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    I am also not having a bridal shower or a rehearsal dinner. FMIL and FSIL really wanted to have both, and we finally managed to kill off the idea last weekend (FH put on his serious, no bullshit voice, I've been politely declining to no avail for about 3 months). We just want to get married. There's nothing to rehearse. There's nothing to celebrate beforehand. Gifts will be at the wedding.

    I also agree with you that they are kind of gift-grabby. I enjoy attending them, but having a bridal shower is definitely not for me. I feel guilty having people come just for the purpose of bringing me gifts. I'm not the baby Jesus or something

    No regrets at all.

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  • AK
    VIP July 2017
    AK ·
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    Me and the hostess actually agreed to cancel my shower last week.

    Most of my family is out of town and would have not been in attendance. Only my mom and aunt would have come. It basically would have been round 2 of my bachelorette party for a bridal shower. My friends went above and beyond for that party and I felt terribly awkward asking them to come to another party and spend more money.

    I have no regrets, I am actually somewhat relieved.

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  • Alicia
    Expert August 2017
    Alicia ·
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    I'm glad I'm not the only person who feels like this. my MOH was pretty insistent about hosting one for me, but I held firm about not wanting one. Most of my family is OOT, and I'm not a fan of being the center of attention. I don't have a lot of female friends either. It does feel a little gift grabby too.

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  • *
    Savvy November 2017
    ****** ·
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    I've declined to have mine as well, just not into them very much. Would prefer to gather all of my girls later for a bachelorette blowout Smiley smile more fun in my opinion

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  • Kim
    Super August 2017
    Kim ·
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    We're not having a shower because we are in our 40's, live together and don't want to come off gift-grabby.

    We will be having a rehearsal dinner... bbq ribs and easy sides!

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