Anyone else have a bitter parent?

I'm so sorry your mother is being like that no one should go through that with their parents. Maybe she'll come around

I forgot to mention, she treats me this way- but then gets on facebook and puts how much she loves me all over my wall for people to see? Its so psycho to me! Then if I call her or talk to her she doesn't have time to talk, doesn't answer... Tells me that she doesn't have the time to talk.. Its truly mind baffling. She is coming down here to see my grandparents and get away from the breathers (this is what she calls my siblings). I have arranged some dress appointments as my MOH is coming down and my sister too, and honestly I just don't even want her there. Is that bad? I just know she will make me feel awful all day, complain, and just not be interested. But then she will go on facebook and say something like I cant believe my little girl is getting married! Someone please tell me what on earth I am dealing with lol.

It is definitely upsetting when you feel unsupported by someone close to you. But honestly, I would just stop talking to her about the wedding. As you have mentioned, she has a lot of her stuff going on so she isnt going to be as emotionally available right now as you would like.

Yeah don't let her negativity affect you. I'm sure there's some underlying issue . Also I don't think I'd want her to contribute in any way because once people contribute they get a say into planning. Just do what you've been doing keep on planning and if she keeps putting down your ideas just share your excitement with FH and don't tell her as many details. Good luck!

I am in the same boat! My mom doesn't seem to be happy about me getting married for multiple reasons. I have been trying to be happy about it and include her but she makes me feel bad so I have been surrounding myself with happy positive people to balance it. Either way it's my marriage and I should be able to get married when and however I want especially since she is the only one against it.

Omg... Im SOOOO Sorry you are dealing with this. I couldn't handle it if my mom was being so bitter. Not for nothing, but is she going through menopause? I ask because my mother who is normally the sweetest person alive was kinda bitchy through menopause and you said it was over the last couple years.

I understand she's going through some hard times, but she kind of sounds like she needs professional help.

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. Just remember she's going through her own issues and honestly she just doesn't have that love and support to giver herself, you or anyone else. I would try just a sit down and try talking it through. You only get one mother and one life time to have them. I pray it gets better.

I'm in the same situation. My mother has been so bitter and rude. I've had no support from her at all and she puts me down on everything! She totally changed my happy mood about telling her I was engaged to sad/hurt/angry. I dread even having her involved. So sorry you're going through that.

LOL no shes not going through menopause- she had a hysterectomy over 10 years ago haha. But yeah, trying not to take it personally just stinks. I don't have my dad... just feels like I dont have any parents. Trying to keep positive and not think about it! Jessica I am sorry you are in same boat and feel for you! I just wish she could be excited for me, she loves my fiance.. but shes kind of just that way. My other siblings don't have much of a relationship with her either, only my bother. Her and my grandmother both really just love the men of the family. So maybe its way deeper than I know! Just praying for her at this point.

My mom is a lot like that. Every time I bring up anything wedding related she rolls her eyes or just says "cool". So I stopped involving her in anything. I've booked a venue and caterer and have been dress shopping with FMIL and haven't even told her.

Sounds to me like your mom is jealous.... I'm sorry =[

I can relate. My mom hasn't said any ugly harsh words. However she hasn't shown one sign of Happiness. Someone at church asked her about my wedding last week. That was the first time she's asked me anything about it in about 2 months if not longer. I included her in trying on dresses with my friends. She just sat there as if she was unimpressed. My FMIL even noticed. My advice to you is to just stop talking about it with her. That's the only way I have managed to just break all the way down.

Me and my mom are back in forth on being on good and bad terms. We got into a huge argument a few months back but when it came to it she was unhappy with some things going on internally.

My mom when she's upset can't convey her feelings sometimes. So instead of telling us how she feels . She becomes verbally abusive and lashes out. My mom is an alcoholic and bipolar . She's on medication and getting help for her alcohol abuse .

She's going to the wedding as of now but with her that could change. Things could change but I hope I don't regret including her and she acts an ass. I'm really trying to be a support system for her .

Your mom may have the same issue just not knowing how to deal with what she's going through so she's taking it out on you. She could also be jealous of your happiness.

Edited

I am so sorry to all who are going through this! I never thought there would be so many already.. It's sad. It sucks because for those of us who feel this way- the right thing to do is just ignore it and hope for their strength, growth & maturity. But that kind of discredits the hurt we feel from it. I hope all of you girls get through this too!! We have each other & this SHOULD be the happiest time of our lives, so lets try and keep it this way. Im here if anyone needs to talk lol- I don't have anyone to vent to this about as I try to keep light and positive about it all.

I'm so sorry your mom is acting like that. We actually decided to do a DW instead of a big wedding following some nasty things my mom said to me. We just know that she will do everything she can to ruin the day, and we don't want to take any chances. We were only having a big wedding to please her in the first place. I definitely get where you are coming from. Unfortunately, there are a lot of us here with parents who can't just shut their mouths and be happy for us. Don't let one person ruin everything for you! I know it's hard, especially when it's your mom who you should be able to count on. There is no hard and fast rule that says that you have to include your mom in your wedding. You don't have to tolerate her behavior. Would you take it from anyone else? It's a sucky thing, and I often struggle with it myself. I'm here if you want to talk!

I think my mom is just bitter about life. She hates everything about anything. She wanted us to go to Hawaii and get married. When I asked why there she said that's where you always go. Never been there and we go to Mexico. Any ways she hated the idea of a big wedding, we had 100 people. I didn't take her dress shopping as I knew she would hate everything. She hated my dress. She hated the hairdresser so I had to do her hair day of. Hated the food so the caterer made her a special plate of food. Hated that she had to have her pic taken.

So I knew all of this and put no expectations on her for the day. Whatever she did and said I ignored and just smiled through. Her being unhappy had nothing to do with our wedding day and it was all on her. If you let go and don't even bring it up to her then you will make it through. If she wants nothing to do with it then let her have nothing to do with it. Just let her show up the day of. Sounds like she puts on a good public face so she will be all smiles that day. Don't let her bring you down

Similar situation with my mom! She's just an unhappy person. Rude comments to and about my fiancé, about me, and FH's family.

I don't really talk to her much. We are civil and I've invited her to all of the wedding stuff (dress appts, meetings with vendors, etc.) and she shows up but it's not like she's excited to be there or excited for the wedding.

I've just learned to deal with it.

My boss, who is a Pastor had some great advice. She said "Your mother will always be your mother. You have to come to terms with your relationship and be at peace with it." So that's what I'm doing. It took me about 5 years but it's worked so far lol

My mom hasn't said anything mean or bitter per say but we definitely do not Have the typical mother/daughter relationship. We aren't close. That sucks sometimes. It was very rocky after my Dad passed away (I know how hard that is OP). I just don't really discuss anything wedding with her. I would advise you to do the same. Good luck though!

Well you started with her going through a divorce, that's probably why she's lashing out at you during your wedding time. I'm really sorry to hear that. Both of our families have been super laid back (but supportive) about this whole thing.

My mother too. I just stopped telling her things. I send her a pic of my wedding dress and I got no response. After these months of planning I've gotten tougher skin and I'm going to have a great wedding. I pray you get some peace with this and it gets better for you. Be Happy!