Hello brides! I don't know who else to vent to so I thought I'd come here since we are all in similar shoes. I feel like I have expressed my feelings to my fiance and best friends so much that it's getting repetitive, which is annoying because COVID is literally out of our control. In fact, I feel silly sometimes being upset that our wedding plans were ruined. I should be grateful for all the other things in life, including my health (which I am, but COVID still sucks). But I can't help but feel down sometimes.
My fiance and I got engaged in 2019. We actually booked our venue prior to officially getting engaged because we wanted to make sure we could get married and have our wedding in 2020 (so much for that..lol). Anyway, we planned to have the wedding in 2020 but obviously had to postpone due to COVID. At first, I was DEVASTATED because I have always dreamed of this day, but as time went on I didn't care so much. I'm kind of on and off with my emotions about this wedding. Some days I don't care at all because it's all out of my control and other days I feel so upset that our wedding had to get postponed.
To make matters worse, the area I live in is super strict. City hall is closed and as our new wedding date nears, I feel like we still won't be able to have our wedding this year. I just feel so trapped. We can't get any money back from our venue or vendors. The FH and I decided that if we cannot have our wedding this year, then we will just legally get married on the postponed wedding date and postpone the reception to 2022 (since we can't get our money back). I feel like I have come to terms with that but the issue is that everywhere is closed atm. Where can we even get married? All the museums and beautiful parks that we considered as plan b and c are also. closed. I'm so sad that we paid thousands of dollars for a photographer and videographer and we can't even enjoy beautiful photos.
I feel so defeated. I want to elope but there's no where to elope besides my backyard. I feel like such a bridezilla saying this, but we did not spend thousands of dollars to get married and take photos in our backyard. I just wish we could get all of our money back.
I'm getting tired of this process and my MOH also upset me a bit. She knows how bummed I am about this wedding getting postponed and she said that for Christmas she wanted to get me an ornament that said "our wedding got postponed in 2020", but her husband said that was weird. Like, duh. Obviously that is weird. Thankfully he had the brains to tell her lol. There are also some other backhanded comments she has made to me throughout our engagement, which is another reason why I just want to elope. Forget the wedding and the bridal party.
I don't know if I am being sensitive or what, but I am just feeling so down these days. We have been in this pandemic for almost a year now and it seems like there's no good news for us. And what bugs me most is that my MOH keeps sending my "memories" from social media of her wedding in 2019. Like I'm sorry, but I do not want to see those. It almost feels like she is rubbing it in my face. I'm happy she was able to have her special day, but I do not need constant reminders that I was not able to have mine.
This was a long rant, but does anyone else feel on and off about their emotions when it comes to their postponed wedding?
