Anyone else frustrated???

You are NOT selfish for wanting to go through with something you've been planning and thinking about for months or years.
And there is no right answer to anything at the moment, so having ALL of the feelings is a perfectly reasonable response.
I think the best way to handle this is to write down the possible choices you could make based on different scenarios (I'll give you my list if you want an example). That way you have something you actually like to guide you in making decisions.
Also, keep in mind that you're allowed to choose more than one thing- we decided to get married on our original date, even if it's just us, so any changes we have to make to the reception/"big wedding" won't be as painful. Also, remembering that you're allowed to change your mind can make it easier to make a choice in the first place.Good luck!
(And let me know if you want to see any of the lists I typed up when I first started to work through this.)

I agree with pp I think it’s fine to be sad about not having the wedding you had dreamed of

Do not feel guilty about being upset, or about wanting your dream wedding. Just because some people have it worse doesn't mean you don't have the right to be upset or to want your special day! I would say if you are having this much anxiety with making decisions, maybe just take a step back from it for now. Set a certain amount of time (maybe a month or two?) and promise yourself that you won't make any wedding-related decisions during that time period. Give your brain a chance to process what is happening, to mourn the wedding that you've had to cancel, and to be accepting of the situation. Then once you've come to a calmer/less anxious and upset place, then try to plan again. Good luck and I am soo sorry you are having to deal with this! I hope you get the wedding you've dreamed of.

Girl, I have been feeling this so hard this past week... like half our wedding guests had their plane tickets cancelled and some people don't know if they're getting refunds, some people are driving (30 hours 😅) some people are flaking out bc plane ticket prices went up.. its all a crapshoot right now and the worst part about it is nobody knows whats going to happen 😫 my one friend is a nurse who doesn't know if she can come now bc she can't miss work and drive out here... shes been taking care of a whole unit of dying people... holding their hand as they die alone bc hospitals aren't allowing people to have visitors during all of this... i can't even imagine... i hate feeling like I'm being selfish for wanting my friends and family here... its supposed to be "the best day of our lives" and it truly isn't selfish to wish that for your special day. Try not to guilt trip yourself too much! U aren't alone and ur feelings are 100% valid!

I can 100% relate to how you are feeling. I’m an ER nurse and I was suppose to get married on May 24th but postponed to to August 23rd. With All this going on, I’ve lost the motivation and the excitement to carry out all the extra work that goes with postponing our date. It’s just not fun anymore to plan...especially after everything we’ve seen in the ER with this virus. Im so disheartened and I feel paralyzed because we don’t know if things will even get better by August. The thought of having to reschedule again makes me want to just say “screw it”, cut my losses and just elope.

Oh honey, I’ve been beyond frustrated. My wedding was supposed to be this Saturday, May 23rd, and we postponed it to Aug 23 this year. I’ve been in a crappy mood & it’s not helping the situation. I know I’m upset & disappointed that my wedding isn’t happening on Saturday & have been trying to make sense of it all. I realized the true emotion is sadness. I understand this pandemic is uncertain & I know there are more important things happening right now. I have also been thinking of doing a backyard wedding or even going to the JP. I don’t know if this helps any, but I just want you to know you’re not alone & your feelings are truly valid. Hang in there girl! We’re all in this together. 😊

It sounds like you are a very empathetic person, and it's so kind of you to feel with those people that are losing family and struggling right now. But it's also completely fair of you to be upset about your own losses. We put hours and hours of sweat and tears into planning weddings and letting go of all those plans is incredibly difficult. Being frustrated is completely normal and you are not selfish at all. I hope you find a plan b that makes you happy and that you get off to a great married life as soon as you safely can!

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Thank you so much!!!

Yes please...I would love to view your list. I do need to write everything down especially because that would get all of these thoughts from being garbled in my head.

It's so encouraging that people have reached out to me and responded to me on Wedding Wire.

I should've tapped into this community MONTHS ago!

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Thank you for your kind words. I can say planning this wedding has been an enormous amount of work, even with a planner. I feel so encouraged with all the responses given here. I'm so glad that I decided to express my frustrations so that I could get a level headed point of view.

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I'm so sorry that you are not having your wedding this month. I TRULY know your pain. Thank you for helping see that I'm not alone. And yes it is sadness because its all this build up just to be let down. I was so ready to be called Mrs. Nicholas on July 12th :-(

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I'm reading your post and tearing up and it's not even my event! I feel your pain. 30 hour drive!!! OMG! LOL...It's soooo muuuccchhhh!!! My wedding party and my family's attendance is another reason why I decided to move my date because I really want them to be there. I don't want it to be a financial hardship to our wedding party who are travelling from out of state (and aren't working right now ). Don't you just want to scream! . Anyway. Thank you for your encouraging words. I hope you have the day you dreamed of having. We ALL deserve it after this! Seriously...

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Thank you . I'm so glad I decided to express what I am going thru. At least now I know I'm not alone you know.

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Oh my gosh! I'm so here with you. I am usually a positive person and try to find the upside but I really feel like "whatever!". It took so much work to find vendors, a venue, styles, etc. and now everything is just so up in the air. Especially here in Cali... if I extend to September I still may have to move it back to November or later. I was so ready for a summer wedding...all my ideas, considerations for my guest, and prepping was for a summer wedding. Now I have to redo it for winter?! AND the the weather here is so unpredictable in November. ugh!

Anyway, I hope your day turns out as beautiful as you planned it

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Writing things down is definitely helpful! I have a google doc where I just write down anything I can't stop thinking about. It started with me writing down reasons for decisions I was making that I knew people were going to complain about so I could get those thoughts out of my head and have something coherent to send to people if necessary, but it's actually been helpful for keeping track of things, too. This list is from the Coronavirus section. My fiancé and I worked on it together when the whole thing started, and I've been adding to it.

Okay, so this is pretty long, but...

If everything is back to normal... we stick to the original plan.

It’s pretty clear that normal will be relative.

-We should probably ask [venue coordinator] about the number of people at tables. Assuming he doesn’t care, we can put people at tables of six, spaced as far apart as possible depending on the number of tables.

-Ask [florist] about making smaller or different centerpieces if we end up needing a lot more tables, so the cost stays about the same.

-Provide hand sanitizer.

If things are basically back to normal, but old/sick people have to stay home...

We mostly stick to the plan, but livestream the ceremony to my grandparents. (Maybe the other old people, NOT everyone.)

-Their computer apparently doesn’t have a camera. We use the money we would have spent on their food and flowers to buy them a Chromebook so they don't have to watch it on a cellphone.

If gatherings are limited to 50 people and [venue] doesn't cancel on us...

We go on with a limited guest list and invite everyone who got a save the date to a more casual reception later.

If gatherings are limited to 25 people...

We go on with a limited guest list somewhere and invite everyone who got a save the date to a reception later.

If gatherings are limited to 10 people...

We slightly ignore the guidance so we can get married in front of just our immediate families.

If (London-based) [officiant] can't make it...

I'll ask [my brother] to be temporarily ordained.

If we can't get a marriage license...

That means city hall has been closed for 5 months. A wedding won't feel as important.

…..

If we stick with the original date...

Include a COVID card with the invitations instead of the brunch card (brunch decisions can be made later, we can invite people via phone or email if it happens).

We decided to invite you to our wedding because we would love to be able to celebrate with you. However, we are aware of the ongoing pandemic and we are working with our vendors to keep everyone as safe as possible during the event. In light of this situation, we realize that not everyone will be comfortable attending a large gathering this summer. We don’t want you to do anything that would jeopardize your health and safety, so please know that we will not be offended if you choose not to attend. If you would like more information about this or anything else related to our wedding, please visit our wedding website.

If we postpone...

Send new save the dates (I designed one using one of our engagement photos where we're making weird faces at each other. It says, "let's try this again..." and has space for a new date.)

Include a note with a more serious update.

...coronavirus...we’re looking forward to celebrating with you next year when it’s safer to gather in person.

Either way...

Put a COVID page on the website before sending anything out and include the URL somewhere near the bottom of the note.

If we postpone, include recommendations about staying safe, and links to places with good information.If we keep 8/8/20, include things we’ll have like masks, hand sanitizer (encourage hand washing), and how we’ll do things differently to keep people from getting too close to each other. Make it sound positive.
I hope that helps!

View Quoted Comment Oh my goodness! Your response made me smile bc my FH’s name is Nicholas! Hang in there my friend! Best wishes to you! 😘

View Quoted Comment Awww future last name twins 😂🥰

View Quoted Comment Lol yes!!!!